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Chaand Chupa Badal Mein

Weekend Retreat 6 Scene 9 Page 13 Road Trip contd. (Page 7)

lams Goldie
lams
lams

Joined: 05 July 2006
Posts: 1315

Posted: 02 January 2011 at 12:04am | IP Logged
@suchi di ... you are awesome ... I love how you are totally correctly depicting the characters ... at least you keep me sane ...love the nivdiv scenes , the bhabhi -devar scenes , Divsid and Nivren scenes too .. this is how it happens in a normal family SmileSmileSmileSmile

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Suchi-

nirjuu Senior Member
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Posted: 02 January 2011 at 12:05am | IP Logged
Wow.... They are too good.... Really wanted the show to move on as your story....

Plz continue soon.... can't wait for the next part....

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Suchi-

Suchi- IF-Sizzlerz
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Suchi-

Joined: 19 November 2009
Posts: 12555

Posted: 02 January 2011 at 12:11am | IP Logged

Scene 5


Viren ran over to where niveditha was standing.


She was talking to vandana, when she felt the slight tap on her shoulders.


Viren grabbed her hands and slowly squeezed them. Niveditha looked at him wide eyed, surprised. Vandana continued speaking to her not noticing the changes in her pupils. Niveditha tried to take her hands out of his grab, slowly twisting them.


Viren , kya hua kuch chahiye kya, asked vandana..


Viren who was enjoying her expressions, looked up with a start and shook his head


Kuch nahi tayiji, he said continuing to hold her hands

 

Ok Readers now press this play button, it's a mix of one of the sweet memories in Tamil and hindi. And then read the scene below to enjoy it to the fullest.



It seemed as if all the words were blurred out, as niveditha stopped struggling to take her hands off from his grab.

She looked at him, straight into his eyes and smiled.

Her eyes were shy but she looked into his eyes again, as if conveying some hidden messages.



Vandana seemed oblivious to the eye decoding that was going on


Viren was taken aback by her gesture and for a second seemed very confused but his heart leapt with joy confirming unknown feelings.


Niveditha looked around to see if there was anyone around and she quickly pinched the inside of viren's hands.


Ouch! Viren let go of hands at once and glared at her as she passed by him, her saree pallu slowly caressing his hands, following her.


Niveditha walked towards the kitchen, and then slowly turned back to see viren in an apparent trance. She smiled at his state and turned her back towards him.


What?! Ye kya hua? Viren questioned himself. He then pinched himself


OUCHH!!!! He screamed,


Kya hua viren? Came a voice far from the RV end.


Kuch nahi tayiji, viren brushed off hurrying towards niveditha.


Niveditha, put the pot with water on the top of stove. She then pulled her hair to a side and turned on the gas. As she turned to get the teabags she realized that they were placed on the top shelf of the cabinet, so she looked viren and pointed towards him with her eyes meaningfully and then pointed towards the cabinet shelf.


Viren who was staring at her, lost for words, stumbled in hurry to get the bags for her only to trip on his foot. He the fell on niveditha but she held him with her hands on his chest, stopping the fall.


Viren's eyes, became wider, if that was possible as it was seeming that they might pop out any second.


Niveditha pointed towards the shelf, requesting him to get the bags with her eyes.


Viren , with his mouth slightly open pulled out the jar that contained the teabags. Niveditha took them from him and put them in the steaming pot of water. She then poured some milk waiting for it to come to a boil.


She then looked at viren and asked him to get him sugar indicating towards the top cabinet with her pleading eyes. A smile peeped on to viren's face as he gave her the sugar jar. Niveditha put 2 teaspoons of it in the tea and closed the gas as it came to a boil.


She then took out a cup and poured the tea into it, placed the cup on a saucer, then putting it on her palm went towards viren -offering it to him.


Viren's smile vanished and was replaced with a questioning look on his eyes. He turned around and looked to see if there was anyone around. He then took the cup from her hands and took a sip from it , not taking his eyes off her face.


She then asked him through her eyes, as if to say " how was the tea?"


Viren responded by making a facial expression indicating that the sugar was less as he pointed towards the sugar jar.


Niveditha took the cup from his hands and then looked at him , her eyes meeting his for a second and then a shyness came over them, but soon she turned the cup around to where viren had placed his lips and she took a small sip.


She then gave the cup back to him not quite looking at him but , then she brought her eyes to meet his and asked with them, "now"?


Viren stared at her , expressionless, shocked'


Niveditha, took advantage of his momentary loss of speech and smiled at him. She then lowered her gaze and then left towards the front area of RV to join the rest of the family.


Viren who was still shocked, with a confused look he placed his finger in the tea..


OUCHHH!!! He screamed.. again..


Viren , ye ho kya gaya hai thumhay, kiyun chilla rahe ho, came the voice of

chanchal


k..kuch nahi ma .. viren stumbled. He put the cup on the counter and ran towards the front to find niveditha but he saw her walking with divya towards the exit door as the bus had come to a hault.


They had reached Manali!



Edited by Suchi-NivReniac - 02 January 2011 at 12:21am

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Love.NivRenNivRen_Luvu4eveprajeeFaizuuNivRenShayafandmg_roks_antaracelestaetamushimilee1014simran728ParamoreScintillatinggmann2010AnamikaSJainanjubalaashred12knumnumaamirkhanfanSofnajyothi_coolmoniluvskinshukDilbole_ShiOmRu

nuts Senior Member
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Posted: 02 January 2011 at 12:16am | IP Logged
Take a bow Suchi! Love the newly confident Nivi and Viren...how the mighty have fallen.

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simran728Suchi-

lams Goldie
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lams

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Posts: 1315

Posted: 02 January 2011 at 12:23am | IP Logged
wow suchi .... my nivi is awesome !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in ur WR SmileSmileSmileSmile

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Suchi-

gmann2010 IF-Dazzler
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Posts: 3677

Posted: 02 January 2011 at 12:28am | IP Logged
Nivi is getting bolder. I like that. Big smile OMG Viren falling and Nivi is stopping him from falling, this is dream come true, he is officially Mr. Durghatana now. LOL Man your version of Nivi will definitely give Viren a heart attack pretty soon. I was expecting him to faint when Nivi took a cup and sipped it from his side. Embarrassed Wink Thanks sweetie for giving such a naughty romantic scene to dream about. Wink Good night. SD.

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celestaeSuchi-

neetusidhu Goldie
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Posted: 02 January 2011 at 12:46am | IP Logged
wow suchitra ji...loving the subtle change in nivedita.....and loved viren's reactions.......amazing......cant put into words how i feel about your writing....its amazing.......wow.....

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Suchi-

ashred12 IF-Rockerz
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Posts: 7277

Posted: 02 January 2011 at 1:07am | IP Logged
SUCHIIIIIIIIII....Hug
I LOVE U I LOVE U I LOVE U...Hug
Sorry, got sooo excited reading scenes 2-5Embarrassed....I am d luckiest girl in d world coz 2day is my birthday n I got d best gift in d world...I cant tell u how high I'm flying after reading d scenes....
 
1 scene each 4 nivi n viren's feelings... viren's confusion, sister love, divya's indirect hint in scene 4...poor viren, he's so concerned abt nivi dat Mr.Intelligent Sood didnt get d hint LOL...I loved every bit of them...
 
N d very best of all- scene 5...OMG....a bold nivi..!!! n their eye-language was just brilliantClap...I was re-reading every paragraph, still cant get enuf Day Dreaming...
 
D first thing I did 2day morning even b4 getting up fm d bed was to check ur retreat on my phone...n I saw d scenes 2-4...dat was d best morning I've ever had...thanku thanku thanku.....pls pls pls continue soon...

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milee1014Suchi-

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