He would neve to the end of his days, forget the early morning argument at the airfield or sid's stubbornness, or the sight of that tiny plane tumbling out of the sky like an autumn leaf.
If onle that had been the worst of it, but it was muskaan who had told him that the shock of sid's death had caused riddhima to have a miscarriage.
Armaan had been plagued by endless questions--questions he had no right to ask.Which had come first--the engaement or the pregnancy? Had sid truly loved riddhima?
A week after the funeral he had tried speaking to her, but Dr. gupta had been fiercely protective of his doughter and had turned armaan away.
So the only certainities that he'd been left with were sid's death and riddhima's loss and he had found it pitifully easy to take the blame for both.
To make amends,he gad actually tried to stay on at Tambaroora after sid's death.But he couldn't replace sid in his father's eyes. and he had soon known that he didn't fit in anymore.
For armaan, it made sense again to leave again and to stay away longer.But of course, he couldn't stay away from his family and home for ever and there were always going to be times , like now, when everything came back to haunt him.
Riddhima dreamed about armaan.
In her dreams they were back at sydney university they had met for coffee and to compare notes after a chemistry practical.
It was an incredibly simple but companiable scene.She and armaan had always enjoyed hanging out together, and in her dream they were sitting at one of the little tables overlooking the courtyard, chatting and smiling and discussing the results of their latest experiments.
When it was time to leave for seperate lectures,riddhima announced calmly, as if it was a normal extention of their everyday conversation,"Oh, by the way,armaan, I am pregnant."
ARmaan's face broke into a beautiful smile and he drew her into his arms and hugged her.
She felt the special protection of his arms and she was filled with a sens eof perfecy happiness.
When she woke,she lay very still with her eyes closed, lingering for as long as she could in the happy afterglow of her dream, clinging to the impossible fantasy that she was pregnant.
Better than that, she was pregnant with Armaan's baby.Not his brothers.......
The dream began to fade and she could no longer ignore the fact that morning sunlight was pulsing on the other side of her closed eyelids.
Reality reared its unwelcome hesd.
Not that dream again.How stupid.
Actually, it was more like a recurring nightmare, so far divorced from riddhima's real life that she always felt sick when she woke.She hated to think that her subconcious could still,after all this time, play such cruel tricks on her.
In truth, she'd never been brave enough to let her friendship with armaan progress into anything deeper.At university, she had seen all the other girls who had fallen for him.She had watched armaan date them for a while and then move on, and she had decided it was safer to be simply his buddy, his friend.
As his girlfriend she'd risk losing him and she couldn't have coped with that.If they remained good friends,she could keep him forever.
Or so she'd thought.
The plan had serious flaws, of course, which was no doubt she was still plagued far too often by her dream.
But now, as riddhima opened her eyes, she knew it was time to wake up to more important realities.This wasn't just any morning, it was niki's wedding day.
This was a day for hair appointments and manicures, helping nikki to dress and smiling for photographs.This was going to be her friend's perfect day.
Get over it riddhima.
Get over yourself.
Stifling a lingering twinge of longing for the dream, she threw off the bedclothes, went to the window and looked out.It was a beautiful day, cloudless and filled with sunshine.She smiled.
No more useless longings.No more doleful thoughts.
Surely clear blue skies were a very promising omen?
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Edited by harshikarocks - 01 January 2011 at 6:19am