Love, Friendship, Dating & Relationships


Love, Friendship, Dating & Relationships
Love, Friendship, Dating & Relationships

plz help me guyzzz!!!

Sara.786 Newbie

Joined: 30 December 2010
Posts: 2

Posted: 30 December 2010 at 9:39am | IP Logged
This is my 1st  topic im writing in IF
I always came in this forum n read stuff about help people wanted n i always saw everyone helping the person with good advises, so im here with a problem can u plz plz help me???
Im Sara n i live in uk, I am 21 years old.
I am engaged to my cosin Imran in pakistan, he is my chacha's son,
2 years ago i went pak n gt engaged to him, but due to family not allowing we never talked to each other n never met each other, so basically i dont know him much only heard about him from peeps.
The problem is that he is 4 years younger than me, which is a huge prob for me as i realy did not know but after my engagment i found out so i could not do anything for my family, After i knew this i hated him so much i cried every day, After a month or do i came across a guy on internet n i fell in love with him for about a year, we chated everyday i used to wait for his messages on msn he showed me his pics he was very handsome the perfect guy i wanted He always asked me for my pics but i used to make up an exuse, but i realy liked him then i found out that that guy was using me to come to England, i was heart broken, my famiy did not know about this. Then after this i realised that i am engaged i totaly forgot about Imran.
After this i cant realy trust a guy, my sis knows about this n she says i am wrong n i dont have to love a handsome n older guy she says Imran is better from inside, Well Imran is not handsome at all but he has a heart of gold, he loves me madly.
Now i need ur advise wat shud i do???
leave Imran? As he is my parenats choice of guy for me, n i know if i ditch him i will have to break ties mith my parents which is my worst fear i love my parents, shall i sacrifice my life for them?
Shall i break my dream to get married to a raj kumar a handome older guy??
wat shall i do plz tell me

..Bebolove.. IF-Addictz

Joined: 15 April 2009
Posts: 60496

Posted: 01 January 2011 at 11:33am | IP Logged
i think u had chances to say no when u were going to engage with imran but in my opinion u can tell ur parents that u don't want to marry imran...because if ur parents have taken this decision so they should understand ur feelings, ur choice..because u r their daughter....
this is my advise i hope it helps uSmile

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thegameison IF-Sizzlerz

Jedi of CC
Joined: 01 July 2010
Posts: 22508

Posted: 02 January 2011 at 9:02pm | IP Logged
Imran must be 17 now, my Math! Anyway, how are you sure he's madly in love with you? He's just young like most of us here are. Am ultra-young, though. LOL

Okay, honestly - INTERNET LOVE is just sheer waste of time. It doesn't last. Ever. And it's stupid, I shall put this point across too. Although, some INTERNET lovestories end well, they're just too good to be true. It's not cynical, anyway - just practical.

I'll tell you what, let time decide your fate. And marrying somebody who's younger to you is no problem. Besides, it sometimes is too much of a plus point. There'd be less ego clashes, say for instance. You should be patient, thats what I think and then you'd know what fate has up for you. But you gotta voice your opinion timely, so that you're not restricted.

The whole Raj Kumar thingie - this fellow might as well be that, provided you know he's very beautiful at heart. Think about it and be patient!


Edited by -Kanky- - 02 January 2011 at 9:05pm

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Asha004 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 10 September 2006
Posts: 6515

Posted: 02 January 2011 at 10:49pm | IP Logged
Wow!! What a rollercoaster ;/

Firstly, why are your parents so keen on getting you married to your cousin...a younger one at that?!?! I think this should be the biggest issue you address with them...I am sure if you talk out your worries with them, they should understand the trouble this has caused you :(

Secondly, regardless of whether Imran loves you or you love Imran, if you two ever intend to have children it would be a major problem because you are close relatives and this would result in complications with the pregnancy--I hope your parents have looked into this matter Ouch

Ok...and now about the "handsome prince in shining armor"--->I definitely believe in the concept of "soulmates" and I firmly believe there is someone out there for you who will be more better suited for you than your cousin ;) And, remember beauty isn't about's about the other person's heart and their willingness to love/care/cherish you :) Who knows,maybe Imran truly loves you...that is a decision you eventually have to make though...good luck to you!Wink

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Chandni_11 Senior Member

Joined: 04 January 2011
Posts: 263

Posted: 04 January 2011 at 2:48pm | IP Logged
I agree with Kanky on this, U realy need to be patient
Imran my b not handsome but he is so beautiful from heart so think about that n u also sed he loves u , wich is the greatest joy of life
Probaly u like a man who is handsome but he does not care or love u wat will u do then???
So plz be patient everything will be fine my friend!!!

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jaandu Newbie

Joined: 04 January 2011
Posts: 4

Posted: 04 January 2011 at 3:01pm | IP Logged

from personal experince, i would suggest to you that don't listen to your parents.  You are still young, finish your studies.  You will meet someone.  If anything I have learned one thing in life, dont sacrifice yourself for anyone.  Read my story and you will know.  This is your life.  Right now studies should be more important then anything.  You have not done anything wrong yet, but if you go against your heart then you may end up making the same mistake as i did.  Right now you don't love Imran, shayad kabhi love na kar pao usko. 

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.Anamika. IF-Dazzler

Joined: 05 June 2006
Posts: 4740

Posted: 04 January 2011 at 3:57pm | IP Logged

Hey Sara!

First of all, why did your family get you engaged to a boy that's 17!? And not to mention also your cousin. Is he distantly related or is he your real cousin? And I know in some cultures this is okay but biologically, this might be an issue for your children. Children born from related parents have a much higher chance of mortality and other genetic issues. So maybe marrying your cousin is not the best idea.

 And even you're too young to be considering any big step in your life unless you're 100 % sure. And you obviously don't seem to be 100% sure right now. Why not wait for a few more years and see if Imran is the right guy for you?

And I do agree with –Kanky- that internet love is just nonsense. Even when two friends talk online, guys tend to flirt more than usual. So unless you know this guy personally (and by that I mean you've known him for a while and hang out with him physically) there's no point in crying over him now.

You're really young right now. Build a career. An identity and then if Imran still loves you and is still waiting for you then maybe consider him? But I still wouldn't marry a cousin.

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Sara.786 Newbie

Joined: 30 December 2010
Posts: 2

Posted: 05 January 2011 at 4:08am | IP Logged
thnx alot for ur help guys it realy did help me.
Thnx so much for the wonderful tips.
I agree with u all, that i should be patient, i realy need to wait.
I srtongly agree with Kanky, Kanky u realy r my star!!!
I know i should have never had a internet relationship but at that time i was very depressed wanted to go away 4rm Imran, so i thought if i start a relationship i will forget him but instead i was heart broken.
Kanky i know he loves because on my sisters mb he text me saying he wants to know my num but i dont reply or tell my num, he also sends me letters through my sis, but i dont reply back so i know he loves me, even though he knows if hes cought hes dead still he tries to contact me.
Thnx alot everyone u all rock, I realy realy apprieciate ur tips thanx alot

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