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OneShot- Bas thori si wafa chahiye - Pg 19 (Page 23)

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sariska_mnarti

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sariska_mnarti

Joined: 26 January 2010

Posts: 5235

Posted: 09 May 2011 at 6:40am | IP Logged
Wow

lovely os

do write more

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

a little faith

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a little faith

Goldie

a little faith

Joined: 09 January 2009

Posts: 2039

Posted: 10 May 2011 at 10:15am | IP Logged
Dearest Ambreen,

What is and what should never be.

a touch that always made mahnoor want to stay in her mothers lap.There is nothing so irreplaceable as a mother's love. mothers warm voice held a stern and discreet message Again that perfect balance of a mother between nurturing love and disciplining nature. '' main kahbi kuch kehti hoon ami?'' Really cute moment.  Star

it was obvious he would now or later fall for her words so why not now? Wonderful!  Ab hawaon ka rukh kisi aur taraf rawana ho chuka hai...hawaein hai, phir rukh morh leingi.  Just exceptional dialogue.  Poetically profound yet practical. It reminded me of the sophistication of a more classic age.  I love the manner you are etching well rounded characterizations that stand apart from each other and yet bound by blood. Excellently done.  StarStarStar

the funny thing about this was, this project had been written by herself ...when she was the one who came up with them in the first place.
The circling aspects of thoughts without an end and yet we continue to spin on.  Her life revolved around herself BECAUSE she has not other paths to follow.  Wonderfully done. Star

the worlds made up systemic rules that neither knew any sanity or any humanity. Excellent.  shipped her off when she began to demand. I loved the implication of supply and demand principle used here against her father, the big successful industrialist. Again that next line, she only wished for their time and love, At that price that industrialists love, free as the air. Then that poignant illumination of the low expectations of this business venture and why it was discarded. which they could never provide for her.StarStarStar

raat ko agar koi darwaze pe khatkataye toh smajh lena, woh tumhara kal bane wala hai'' defintely wondering who could have destiny brought to her doorsteps. Wonderful embellishment.

' the walls within her alarmed at the intrusion Lovely.''tumhari ankhein, un mein bhi yehi kashish hai''  This caught me off guard as much as her.  I did not know what to expect. It was excellently executed.

That last conversation was beautiful AND that last line of the narrative tempting. As they flirt around the truth you flirt with us. StarStarStar

Loved it! Love Sabah


Edited by a little faith - 11 May 2011 at 11:32am

itstheclimb

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Joined: 26 July 2009

Posts: 13227

Posted: 10 May 2011 at 10:34am | IP Logged
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EdgeOfCredence

Goldie

EdgeOfCredence

Joined: 10 May 2011

Posts: 1701

Posted: 11 May 2011 at 5:27am | IP Logged
Wow! Lovely OS! Stupendous!

drmaha

IF-Dazzler

drmaha

Joined: 10 November 2010

Posts: 2708

Posted: 12 May 2011 at 9:20am | IP Logged
COMMENT FOR I AM NOBODY

sajjal it was wonderful os...
its true tht widout degree u cant prove urself...
no one even dare to look at u at the time whn u need thm...

loved it...


Edited by drmaha - 12 May 2011 at 9:21am

Beet

IF-Rockerz

Beet

Joined: 22 April 2010

Posts: 5545

Posted: 27 May 2011 at 12:46pm | IP Logged
Bas Thori Si Wafa Chahiye, was a stupendous piece!
You portrayed, something which is so common so beautifully and you tugged at my heart strings with this piece! It was just beyond beautfiully written! You are a pro Sajjal! Hug
Marvellous!

.rumki.

IF-Rockerz

.rumki.

Joined: 06 March 2010

Posts: 9461

Posted: 01 July 2011 at 12:08pm | IP Logged
Lovely os

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