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Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems
Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems

OneShot- Bas thori si wafa chahiye - Pg 19 (Page 20)

-Samira- IF-Rockerz
-Samira-
-Samira-

Joined: 08 August 2008
Posts: 5430

Posted: 03 May 2011 at 10:02am | IP Logged
Sajjal Amazingly written hun
it was really painful any girl go through this kind of life
waiting next part
thanks for the pm

saraaa. IF-Sizzlerz
saraaa.
saraaa.

Joined: 26 March 2010
Posts: 13523

Posted: 04 May 2011 at 7:33pm | IP Logged
This was beautifully written and you've truly given us a piece of reality :/ My parents and even my grandparents have lived in a society as such and I definetly agree with youu that you shouldnt be forced to sell your lives away like that .. in pain and grief .. Embarrassed Please do continue this as an FF! Would totally love that
Thanks for the PM
-Sara
sariska_mnarti IF-Rockerz
sariska_mnarti
sariska_mnarti

Joined: 26 January 2010
Posts: 5199

Posted: 08 May 2011 at 7:29am | IP Logged
Part 3 was amazin

loved it

cont soon

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

a little faith

sariska_mnarti IF-Rockerz
sariska_mnarti
sariska_mnarti

Joined: 26 January 2010
Posts: 5199

Posted: 09 May 2011 at 6:40am | IP Logged
Wow

lovely os

do write more

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

a little faith

a little faith Goldie
a little faith
a little faith

Joined: 09 January 2009
Posts: 2037

Posted: 10 May 2011 at 10:15am | IP Logged
Dearest Ambreen,

What is and what should never be.

a touch that always made mahnoor want to stay in her mothers lap.There is nothing so irreplaceable as a mother's love. mothers warm voice held a stern and discreet message Again that perfect balance of a mother between nurturing love and disciplining nature. '' main kahbi kuch kehti hoon ami?'' Really cute moment.  Star

it was obvious he would now or later fall for her words so why not now? Wonderful!  Ab hawaon ka rukh kisi aur taraf rawana ho chuka hai...hawaein hai, phir rukh morh leingi.  Just exceptional dialogue.  Poetically profound yet practical. It reminded me of the sophistication of a more classic age.  I love the manner you are etching well rounded characterizations that stand apart from each other and yet bound by blood. Excellently done.  StarStarStar

the funny thing about this was, this project had been written by herself ...when she was the one who came up with them in the first place.
The circling aspects of thoughts without an end and yet we continue to spin on.  Her life revolved around herself BECAUSE she has not other paths to follow.  Wonderfully done. Star

the worlds made up systemic rules that neither knew any sanity or any humanity. Excellent.  shipped her off when she began to demand. I loved the implication of supply and demand principle used here against her father, the big successful industrialist. Again that next line, she only wished for their time and love, At that price that industrialists love, free as the air. Then that poignant illumination of the low expectations of this business venture and why it was discarded. which they could never provide for her.StarStarStar

raat ko agar koi darwaze pe khatkataye toh smajh lena, woh tumhara kal bane wala hai'' defintely wondering who could have destiny brought to her doorsteps. Wonderful embellishment.

' the walls within her alarmed at the intrusion Lovely.''tumhari ankhein, un mein bhi yehi kashish hai''  This caught me off guard as much as her.  I did not know what to expect. It was excellently executed.

That last conversation was beautiful AND that last line of the narrative tempting. As they flirt around the truth you flirt with us. StarStarStar

Loved it! Love Sabah


Edited by a little faith - 11 May 2011 at 11:32am
itstheclimb IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 26 July 2009
Posts: 13215

Posted: 10 May 2011 at 10:34am | IP Logged
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EdgeOfCredence Goldie
EdgeOfCredence
EdgeOfCredence

Joined: 10 May 2011
Posts: 1701

Posted: 11 May 2011 at 5:27am | IP Logged
Wow! Lovely OS! Stupendous!
drmaha IF-Dazzler
drmaha
drmaha

Joined: 10 November 2010
Posts: 2704

Posted: 12 May 2011 at 9:20am | IP Logged
COMMENT FOR I AM NOBODY

sajjal it was wonderful os...
its true tht widout degree u cant prove urself...
no one even dare to look at u at the time whn u need thm...

loved it...


Edited by drmaha - 12 May 2011 at 9:21am

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