Writers Corner

India-Forums

   
Writers Corner
Writers Corner

OneShot- Bas thori si wafa chahiye - Pg 19 (Page 14)

crazymayurian IF-Dazzler
crazymayurian
crazymayurian

Joined: 13 August 2010
Posts: 4423

Posted: 18 April 2011 at 3:36am | IP Logged
nice

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

thousandmiles

-Samira- IF-Rockerz
-Samira-
-Samira-

Joined: 08 August 2008
Posts: 5430

Posted: 18 April 2011 at 6:30am | IP Logged
sounds amazing story Sajjal
would love to read more
update soon n thanks for the pm

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

thousandmiles

tehzeeb25 IF-Rockerz
tehzeeb25
tehzeeb25

Joined: 03 April 2009
Posts: 9254

Posted: 18 April 2011 at 9:35am | IP Logged
nice
Thanxxx 4 d pm

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

thousandmiles

JaeeDevRathore Goldie
JaeeDevRathore
JaeeDevRathore

Joined: 21 September 2010
Posts: 1046

Posted: 18 April 2011 at 12:12pm | IP Logged
Sajjal you just gave me another reason to love your writing ....
First of all, hands down - the title rocks!!! Such an unusual and well-thought title ... Great and I am so excited to read further ...
You are brilliant and of course one of my favourite writers :)

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

thousandmiles

Silent.Dreamer IF-Stunnerz
Silent.Dreamer
Silent.Dreamer

Joined: 07 June 2010
Posts: 31134

Posted: 18 April 2011 at 11:28pm | IP Logged
Nice Concept with Really Nice Title
Update soon and thnx for the pm

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

thousandmiles

..-Ayesshhaa-.. IF-Sizzlerz
..-Ayesshhaa-..
..-Ayesshhaa-..

Joined: 24 April 2010
Posts: 16368

Posted: 19 April 2011 at 3:14am | IP Logged
It's amazing..do continue soon..
perkilicious IF-Sizzlerz
perkilicious
perkilicious

Joined: 28 July 2010
Posts: 16910

Posted: 19 April 2011 at 7:03am | IP Logged
wow! di very interesting concept!! loved the name..very catchy! waiting fr the upcoming parts! cont soon!Hug
tc keep smiling:)

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

thousandmiles

a little faith Goldie
a little faith
a little faith

Joined: 09 January 2009
Posts: 2037

Posted: 19 April 2011 at 2:59pm | IP Logged
Dearest Ambreen, I am so sorry, my sooner turned into a lot later but hopefully not late.  This post is for 'the wait of a lifetime.'

I always enjoy your introductions, like the preamble to a thunderstorm, my heart upon a precipice of anticipation before that deep ravine of yearning. Needless to say I loved this one too.

I loved your spin on the 'lineage' preface; the courteous introductions to brothers and mothers and their immediate rejections! LOL The 'cute' this story is not about them either juxtaposing the issue So where was i? neatly in-between and ending with the past!  Superbly done! ClapStar

I loved 'i had been following him trying to store him and his essence within me' and especially 'where junk food was the main course and our own voices was the entertainment' However the cutest was 'i spend the whole week crying and whenever someone asked me what happened, i would only cry louder and louder. You captured that teenage angst wonderfully well. ClapStar

You excellently built up the tension in the final paragraphs. It took all my patience NOT to rush ahead to the end, helped by the wonderful manner you excite by the plot and yet calm through your thoughts.  An overall dormant calm or latent fervor, which ever way you wish to perceive it.StarStarStar

You truly have a knack of ending your pieces with profundity. StarStarStar It reminded me a lot of one of my favourite books, persuasion by Austen ( I truly mean that as a compliment which I state only because people are vast and so can infer the opposite to what is hoped is implied.) 

I love this theme of, as Austen calls it, 'perpetual estrangement,' so elegantly weaved into your story. ClapAs you say, we had gone from bestfriends to strangers. I had become invisible to him and As Austen expounds 'Now they were as strangers; nay, worse than strangers, for they could never become acquainted.'

Again the theme of 'the hope of the hopeless.' As Austen says the difference between men and women is not the depths of affection but rather 'is that of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone!" and as you so beautifully express as 'I would wait for him the day he himself would come to me and tell me to move on' ClapStar

An excellent piece of prose. I truly loved it. EmbarrassedLove Sabah


Edited by a little faith - 19 April 2011 at 3:03pm

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

thousandmiles

Go to top

Related Topics

  Topics Author Replies Views Last Post
That one girl...oneshot!

Author: legallyzoya   Replies: 8   Views: 1614

legallyzoya 8 1614 24 October 2009 at 12:59am by legallyzoya

Forum Quick Jump

Forum Category / Channels
Forums

Writers Corner Topic Index

Disclaimer: All Logos and Pictures of various Channels, Shows, Artistes, Media Houses, Companies, Brands etc. belong to their respective owners, and are used to merely visually identify the Channels, Shows, Companies, Brands, etc. to the viewer. Incase of any issue please contact the webmaster.

Popular Channels :
Star Plus | Zee TV | Sony TV | Colors TV | SAB TV | Life OK

Quick Links :
Top 100 TV Celebrities | Top 100 Bollywood Celebs | About Us | Contact Us | Advertise | Forum Index