Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems

OneShot- Bas thori si wafa chahiye - Pg 19 - Page 15

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-Samira- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Sajjal beatiful update as usual
thanks for the pm n sorry for the late comment
-Samira- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Sajjal Amazingly written hun
it was really painful any girl go through this kind of life
waiting next part
thanks for the pm
saraaa. thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
This was beautifully written and you've truly given us a piece of reality :/ My parents and even my grandparents have lived in a society as such and I definetly agree with youu that you shouldnt be forced to sell your lives away like that .. in pain and grief .. 😳 Please do continue this as an FF! Would totally love that
Thanks for the PM
-Sara
sariska_mnarti thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Part 3 was amazin

loved it

cont soon
sariska_mnarti thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Wow

lovely os

do write more
a little faith thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Dearest Ambreen,

What is and what should never be.

a touch that always made mahnoor want to stay in her mothers lap.There is nothing so irreplaceable as a mother's love. mothers warm voice held a stern and discreet message Again that perfect balance of a mother between nurturing love and disciplining nature. '' main kahbi kuch kehti hoon ami?'' Really cute moment.  ⭐️

it was obvious he would now or later fall for her words so why not now? Wonderful!  Ab hawaon ka rukh kisi aur taraf rawana ho chuka hai...hawaein hai, phir rukh morh leingi.  Just exceptional dialogue.  Poetically profound yet practical. It reminded me of the sophistication of a more classic age.  I love the manner you are etching well rounded characterizations that stand apart from each other and yet bound by blood. Excellently done.  ⭐️⭐️⭐️

the funny thing about this was, this project had been written by herself ...when she was the one who came up with them in the first place.
The circling aspects of thoughts without an end and yet we continue to spin on.  Her life revolved around herself BECAUSE she has not other paths to follow.  Wonderfully done. ⭐️

the worlds made up systemic rules that neither knew any sanity or any humanity. Excellent.  shipped her off when she began to demand. I loved the implication of supply and demand principle used here against her father, the big successful industrialist. Again that next line, she only wished for their time and love, At that price that industrialists love, free as the air. Then that poignant illumination of the low expectations of this business venture and why it was discarded. which they could never provide for her.⭐️⭐️⭐️

raat ko agar koi darwaze pe khatkataye toh smajh lena, woh tumhara kal bane wala hai'' defintely wondering who could have destiny brought to her doorsteps. Wonderful embellishment.

' the walls within her alarmed at the intrusion Lovely.''tumhari ankhein, un mein bhi yehi kashish hai''  This caught me off guard as much as her.  I did not know what to expect. It was excellently executed.

That last conversation was beautiful AND that last line of the narrative tempting. As they flirt around the truth you flirt with us. ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Loved it! Love Sabah
Edited by a little faith - 12 years ago
Posted: 12 years ago

reserved

Edited by itstheclimb - 12 years ago
EdgeOfCredence thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Wow! Lovely OS! Stupendous!
drmaha thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
COMMENT FOR I AM NOBODY

sajjal it was wonderful os...
its true tht widout degree u cant prove urself...
no one even dare to look at u at the time whn u need thm...

loved it...
Edited by drmaha - 12 years ago
Beet thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Bas Thori Si Wafa Chahiye, was a stupendous piece!
You portrayed, something which is so common so beautifully and you tugged at my heart strings with this piece! It was just beyond beautfiully written! You are a pro Sajjal! 🤗
Marvellous!