Debate Mansion

India-Forums

   
Debate Mansion
Debate Mansion

India in 2020 - Do You Buy This Image? (Page 8)

return_to_hades IF-Sizzlerz
return_to_hades
return_to_hades

Joined: 18 January 2006
Posts: 23330

Posted: 30 December 2010 at 8:20am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Angel-likeDevil

 
No, no, if I fall in love and get married, I won't be adopting babies LOL  I will adopt a kid only if I don't fall in love.. :)
 
@bold -- OMG, how and why? Shocked


I think what she means to say is that you never know when you might fall in love. You might adopt a child one day, and the few years down the road meet someone you want to marry and spend your life with. Hopefully, that person is comfortable with and accepting of your adopted child. Sometimes people are just not comfortable with adoptions, its challenging. If you can work it out great. However, you have to realize that once you make a commitment to a child, you might need to make sacrifices – that could be giving up someone you love because they are not ready to be a parent or be part of your family. If you have a child and marry the wrong person – it can be devastating for a child. Children are not emotionally stable and mature, if the grown ups in the household are not ready to work through challenges – children can develop depression, aggression and other issues. Many divorcees, widows/widowers, teen parents, adoptive/foster parents face challenges dating and finding a future spouse because children take priority in their lives

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

Angel-likeDevil

Gauri_3 IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 12 November 2006
Posts: 13604

Posted: 30 December 2010 at 8:30am | IP Logged
THE ACCOUNT OF THE MEMBER WHO POSTED THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN TEMPORARILY BANNED.

If you think this is an error please Contact us.

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

mr.assreturn_to_hades

-Believe- IF-Stunnerz
-Believe-
-Believe-

Joined: 03 December 2005
Posts: 27243

Posted: 30 December 2010 at 8:33am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Gauri_3

Originally posted by Believe

Originally posted by return_to_hades

 If I ever have kids, they will all be adopted.---Clapif have money plz sponser a girl for her education... Or Angie can just gift me babies. LOL---Why not me...TongueWinkLOL

 
Because she prefers to control the gene pool like the rest of us here on DM.  She'd rather go for unknown gene pool and take her chances than settle down for a sure shot crappy one.
 
Broken HeartBroken HeartBroken HeartBroken HeartBroken Heart  Crappyyyyyyyyyyy one Broken HeartBroken HeartBroken HeartBroken Heart 
Angel-likeDevil IF-Sizzlerz
Angel-likeDevil
Angel-likeDevil

Joined: 29 January 2010
Posts: 23266

Posted: 30 December 2010 at 10:37am | IP Logged
Originally posted by return_to_hades

You know Angel, sometimes you really remind me a lot of me. This whole don't want to get married etc. Some of it is so me.

 

When it comes to raising kids, I don't think married, single, age or anything matter. There are traditional conventional families that do a terrible job and raise messed up, unstable kids. But there are single moms and dads, teen parents, older parents etc who do an incredible job. Sometimes when the parents cannot be there for some reason sometimes siblings, relatives, neighbors etc also step up to the job of child rearing.

 

The most important thing when it comes to raising kids the most important thing is that the person/persons raising the child are mature, responsible, committed and ready for it. Responsibility means a lot of emotional, but social and fiscal responsibility too. They need undivided attention and sometimes other aspects of life get put on hold.

 

If a person is ready and is at a place in life where they can successfully raise kids, then by all means they should go for it. Some people in society tend to look down on single parents even if they are adoptive parents. If someone is a good parent, I don't think society should judge, especially when someone gives a child a home they might not have had otherwise. Actually, married or not ? I'm a huge supporter of adoption. More people should consider adopting orphans. But I do understand blood bonds and the sense of ones own child, especially carrying the child for moms ? so I get and respect why couples have a priority to conceive.  

 

Personally,  I hate the thought of carrying and pushing bowling balls. Technically fetuses are parasites. If I ever have kids, they will all be adopted. Or Angie can just gift me babies. LOL

 
@red -- Is that a compliment, RTH.. thankyou! :D
 
I agree with you. If there's both mother and father, it doesn't necessarily mean that the child is being brought up in a proper way. I have seen how some parents literally KILL the child's originality and condition him into many baseless coventional stuff.
 
Hmmm, yes, yes, I will settle down and see that I'm financially well-off before going in for adoption Big smile Actually, adoption is good, if I'm financially doing excellent, and married to someone I love, I will adopt a baby besides having one with my lover :D
 
I think I can shower all the motherly love on a pet dog and a baby from adoption, so, I have made a decision that I'm gonna go in for adoption! Tongue
 
I agree with everything you said but the last line, can you please elaborate? I once read one of the posts on this section I guess, I think they were you're posts that said "fetuses are parasites"....
It got me wondering if fetuses are really parasites. I mean, they grow inside a human, they just "happen" as a by-product of love-making between two people whether called or uncalled for. And they make the pregnant lady suffer through morning-sickness, etc and other traumatic complications which can occur like in my mom's case when she was totally destroyed because I was inhabiting her tummy.
And after being born, babies are totally dependent on the "hosts" because of the way they are. One thing that completely blew my mind was when I realised how I needed my mom or dad when I was suffering in pain or for other needs, inspite of being 16 years old... I somehow felt like a parasite that makes use of parents for it's own needs.
 
Love happens between child-parent, but that's again a different issue.
Angel-likeDevil IF-Sizzlerz
Angel-likeDevil
Angel-likeDevil

Joined: 29 January 2010
Posts: 23266

Posted: 30 December 2010 at 10:47am | IP Logged
Originally posted by return_to_hades

Originally posted by Angel-likeDevil

 
No, no, if I fall in love and get married, I won't be adopting babies LOL  I will adopt a kid only if I don't fall in love.. :)
 
@bold -- OMG, how and why? Shocked


I think what she means to say is that you never know when you might fall in love. You might adopt a child one day, and the few years down the road meet someone you want to marry and spend your life with. Hopefully, that person is comfortable with and accepting of your adopted child. Sometimes people are just not comfortable with adoptions, its challenging. If you can work it out great.  However, you have to realize that once you make a commitment to a child, you might need to make sacrifices ? that could be giving up someone you love because they are not ready to be a parent or be part of your family. If you have a child and marry the wrong person ? it can be devastating for a child. Children are not emotionally stable and mature, if the grown ups in the household are not ready to work through challenges ?children can develop depression, aggression and other issues. Many divorcees, widows/widowers, teen parents, adoptive/foster parents face challenges dating and finding a future spouse because children take priority in their lives
 
Hmmm, I guess he'll have to accept me and my adopted child or else I won't get into the marriage.
 
However, you have to realize that once you make a commitment to a child, you might need to make sacrifices ? that could be giving up someone you love because they are not ready to be a parent or be part of your family.
 
I really wanna have a kid in future, so, I really will do anything, well, that's what I think now.. LOL  RTH, I'm pretty confident about my future, the only ones that matter in my life are my mom, my dad and my best friend.. My mom wants me to get married though, but I'm sure she'll respect my decisions when the time comes. I'm pretty darn sure that my mom and dad will accept me for whatever decisions I take up at life.. the society, well I honestly don't care about them.
 
If you have a child and marry the wrong person ?
 
OMG.. Stern Smile I guess I won't marry the person unless I am sure about him. I think we can always divorce. Big smile  Besides, RTH, I think I won't marry someone unless we both fall in love with each other, doesn't that mean he'll accept me for whatever I am, and then I'll take the step of marrying the guy ? :)
 


Edited by Angel-likeDevil - 30 December 2010 at 10:50am
return_to_hades IF-Sizzlerz
return_to_hades
return_to_hades

Joined: 18 January 2006
Posts: 23330

Posted: 30 December 2010 at 11:21am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Angel-likeDevil

 
I agree with everything you said but the last line, can you please elaborate? I once read one of the posts on this section I guess, I think they were you're posts that said "fetuses are parasites"....
It got me wondering if fetuses are really parasites. I mean, they grow inside a human, they just "happen" as a by-product of love-making between two people whether called or uncalled for. And they make the pregnant lady suffer through morning-sickness, etc and other traumatic complications which can occur like in my mom's case when she was totally destroyed because I was inhabiting her tummy.
And after being born, babies are totally dependent on the "hosts" because of the way they are. One thing that completely blew my mind was when I realised how I needed my mom or dad when I was suffering in pain or for other needs, inspite of being 16 years old... I somehow felt like a parasite that makes use of parents for it's own needs.
 
Love happens between child-parent, but that's again a different issue.


Fetuses is are parasites is just one of my bizarre analogies. I'll let people make their judgement how tongue-in-cheek that is - or what a heartless soulless beast I am.

By definition a parasite is an organism that benefits from the host. A fetus is a parasite because it is an organism within the womb depending on the host for life, nutrition etc. Many children do continue to be a parasite for a long time.

However, ask a mom or even dads - they wont view their kids as parasites. There is a bond of love, compassion, caring that makes even the thought of such an analogy something horrifying.  Ultimately, parent-child relationships even at the stage of fetus is a complex social emotional relationship that cannot be defined in any scientific terms. Its purely defined by the feelings of the parents which cannot be expressed in any words really.

My analogy was conceived out of my pro-choice sentiments. For many women who are not ready for a child, who accidentally happen to get pregnant - that fetus will be a parasite. Some form the beautiful mother-child bond, but many others will always view it as a reflection of a mistake, an accident, a poor choice - something they are just not ready to live with. I support the choice in these situations.

But I've had this argument so many times on this forum some people are just rolling their eyes and glaring - I think.....LOLno I promise I wont deviate more. I'll keep mum. Big smile

Zip!

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

Angel-likeDevil

glace-bleue IF-Stunnerz
glace-bleue
glace-bleue

Joined: 04 March 2009
Posts: 49339

Posted: 30 December 2010 at 8:19pm | IP Logged
..

Edited by blue-ice - 15 February 2011 at 10:31pm

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

Angel-likeDevil

-Believe- IF-Stunnerz
-Believe-
-Believe-

Joined: 03 December 2005
Posts: 27243

Posted: 01 January 2011 at 10:56pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by blue-ice

Originally posted by Angel-likeDevil

Originally posted by blue-ice


Of course if u adopt a child then he will atleast have a loving mother......thats y I asked u that question and used the word otherwiseTongue

Regarding what difference the father makes in a child's life.......its the same what a mother makes in a child's life.........not more not less....
 
Ooops! my bad.. LOL 
 
But seriously Blue[can I call you that? :) ], some people disapprove with my idea of adopting a kid whilst being single.. Do you think it is REALLY bad?


who in their right mind would think that adopting and showering an orphan with love will be bad.....the only thing is that you should be ready to give unconditional love to that child no matter what....u should be ready for the responsibility  that comes with raising a child.......BTW when I was young I used to think like u...never to get married....infact I had a discussion with Mr. K on one of the threads how I didn't want to marry but in the end I had to...........but that was 19 years ago......I was young then and my thinking was a lot different...........but I know one thing that if my kids don't want to get married .........I will never force them..........I hate when people say that marriage and kids should be the final goal of ones life...........our life should be meaningful..........shaadi or no shaadi....kids or no kids......shouldn't matter....
I believe If love becomes your marriage, good...but don't hope that marriage can bring love. That is not possible.....Love can become a marriage....and perfect marriages are made in heaven... nobody comes back from there so maybe it is true....Smileand soneone told me b4 that...marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred... I thnk its true lolLOL
 
and about Goals......I think create goals, seduce people...'now this is the goal ....u must have this, otherwise life is purposeless'...then we start running, becos we all have an achieving mind I think an achieving mind is created which is always trying to achieve something or other.... whenever something is achieved again the mind asks, "Now what? what is to be achieved now?" It cannot remain with itself, it has to go on achieving..... this achieving mind will never be blissful, it will always be tense..Confusedcos our mind has been corrupted by..... Universities, colleges, education, society, have corrupted me and most of them.....they have made it a conditioning deep down within me that unless something has a purpose it is useless, so everything must have a purpose...our societies attitude teach transform our life into a bank balance but a child playing has no purpose...he is happy...Live the moments ..njoy the moment be happySmile
 

Go to top

Related Topics

  Topics Author Replies Views Last Post
Stereotypical image of a woman??

Author: U-No-Poo   Replies: 4   Views: 553

U-No-Poo 4 553 25 September 2008 at 6:11pm by ElusiveDevotion
India is not India...it's America...

2

Author: SmarterDesiKid   Replies: 10   Views: 3984

SmarterDesiKid 10 3984 10 August 2007 at 10:59pm by UDman
Sexy Image, Respect guranteed or Not?

2

Author: MNMS   Replies: 14   Views: 1121

MNMS 14 1121 25 February 2007 at 12:34am by angelic_devil
Woman's image in Fashion?

2

Author: MNMS   Replies: 13   Views: 1465

MNMS 13 1465 29 November 2006 at 6:52am by remixer
india vs not-india

2 3 4 5 6

Author: simi1295   Replies: 40   Views: 6630

simi1295 40 6630 11 February 2006 at 2:56pm by heart girl

Forum Quick Jump

Forum Category / Channels
Forums

Debate Mansion Topic Index

Disclaimer: All Logos and Pictures of various Channels, Shows, Artistes, Media Houses, Companies, Brands etc. belong to their respective owners, and are used to merely visually identify the Channels, Shows, Companies, Brands, etc. to the viewer. Incase of any issue please contact the webmaster.

Popular Channels :
Star Plus | Zee TV | Sony TV | Colors TV | SAB TV | Life OK

Quick Links :
Top 100 TV Celebrities | Top 100 Bollywood Celebs | About Us | Contact Us | Advertise | Forum Index