Part 12
Sid looks at his conscience and remembers the first night he met Riddhima. He remembers her hopelessness and remembers how she almost gave up. He remembers Aryan and this time it hurt Sid to know that he may have been the reason for all their pain after all. He turns away from the thought and look at his car keys. He imagines going back to Sanaya and her smile the minute she sees him, imagines marrying her. He imagines the life he could have with her.
Sid: It all seems so easy if only I just fly back to Mumbai.
(He turns to his car and his thought are disrupted by Aryan's words at the swing, "why does God let this happen? What did I do wrong? Why don't I have a dad?")
Sid: Why does it have to be me??!
Con: the better question would be how is it you?
(Sid looks at his conscience.)
Sid: Fine. Lets give it a shot. Just one shot. If I feel at some part of the day that Aryan is genuinely my son then I will stay.
Con: Great.
(Sid stomps back to the house but doesn't take his luggage, thinking he may have to return to previous plan.)
Sid: ohk… so hypothetically speaking, if Riddhima were the mother of my child then we should have met before… but how do I find out.
Con: Friends, family, you choose.
Sid: My friends don't know her and my dad definitely is not someone that I would like to get involved in this specific matter.
Con: then how are you meant to find her Einstein?
Sid: She is definitely not in high school since Kavita doesn't really know her. And that leaves college and university. If she was in my university then she has definitely lived in Toronto for some time since that is where I completed my education and came back to Mumbai for internship.
Con: right so how do you propose we find out?
Sid: Lets visit Adi.
(Sid goes to the hospital and meets Adi, he then heads to Riddhima.)
Sid: hey.
Riddhima: Somebody seems to be in a better mood.
Sid: ahh… yeah. Sorry about earlier. Had a bad day.
Riddhima: its okay.
Sid: so…. Riddhima… Canada is a beautiful country.
Riddhima: How random are you?
Sid: huh?
Riddhima: You start off with you had a bad day and then you tell me Canada is beautiful? How are those to sentences related?
Sid: You cant even guess.
Riddhima: what?
Sid: I mean have you ever been to it?
Riddhima: whats that got to do with you?
Sid: They have awesome universities.
Con: Are you insane?? What the hell are you intending to say?
Riddhima: Sid ur not talking. You're blabbering.
Sid: C'mon. Think about Aryan's future.
Riddhima: If I had to think about Aryan's future, don't you think I would think about college before I jump onto university?
Sid: oh okay how about Delhi College? Its big and its reputable….
Riddhima: Anywhere but there.
(Riddhima brushes past Sid in a hurry and he realizes that college is where they may have met.)
Sid: I hope, no I pray that Riddhima has not been to Delhi College or Toronto for that matter.
Con: yeah from her reaction, I'm guessing she may have little too much to with Delhi college.
Sid: Lets find out.
(Sid drives to Delhi College and enters his college. Memories rush through his head as he remembers the time of his life. The cursed place where he smoked for the first time. The library that he didn't know existed till he had a crush on the librarian. The canteen where he spent almost all his time with Adi and Dheeraj. He kicked the dry leaves the way he did long ago. He smiled.)
Sid: One thing that has changed about this place.
(Sid looks around and sees a different building, different set of people and a different environment. He goes to the busy reception.)
Receptionist: Are you here for anyone's admission Sir?
Sid: No I'm an ex student and I wanted to borrow my batch's year book if you guys still have them.
Receptionist: Sorry but we don't entertain such requests at busy days like these but if there is any thing more important than I'd be glad to assist you.
Sid: alright… you're not getting me right here… I NEED the year book. I don't want it. I NEED it… Do you get the difference.
Receptionist: Like I said Sir, we don't entertain such requests.
Sid: you can call me Sid, and here the deal: my wife is dying and her last wish is to be reunited with her college bestie and I really cant track her down without a picture or a name. Now I don't know if this falls in your "more important" category but it does in mine. So would please assist a would-be widower to grant his wife's final wish?
Con: You're like the most dramatic man on earth.
(The receptionist couldn't argue any longer since the crowd around her was now looking tearfully at Sid. She called a conductor and asked him to guide Sid to the store room. Sid followed the old man and he seemed to remember him from somewhere. They reach the store room and Sid looks around at the pretty neat collection of year book.)
Conductor: Aap Siddhant hona?
Sid: yh… I mean haan…. Main issi college mein tha..
Conductor: Main yaad hoon? Pehley watchman huaa kartha tha.
Sid: Abbas Miyan!
(The conductor genuinely smiles. This was because most of the times people forgot him. He knew that he was of little importance and that's why every time a student remembered him, it brought a smile to his face.)
Sid: aap abh bhi yaheen ho.
Abbas: haan haan aur kahan jaaoonga… tum yahan kaisey?
Sid: woh kya baataoon bohot buri tarha phaas gaya hoon. Kuch dhoondna tha.
Abbas: dhoond lo. Main yaheen rukta hoon.
Sid: aap kisliye rukrahe hain? Main sambhal loonga.
Abbas: Acha lagta hai puraney bachon seh mill kar.
(Sid smiles at him and passes him a chair to sit on. He then begins his search. He looks through a pile)
Abbas:kaunse Kohinoor keh talash mein ho?
Sid: mill gaya.
(He puts the year book in front of him and opens to the page of his class. He searches through all the faces but cant find Riddhima's. He reads all the names twice just to make sure.)
Sid: woh yahan bhi nahin hai..
Abbas: shayad kisi aur block main hogi. Apney saalkey year book 2 mein dekhlo.
(Sid follows instructions and gets the 2nd year book. He looks through it and spots Riddhima and smiles. Sid observed the passport sized picture and she hadn't changed much. There were very few differences. She didn't have her hair on that tight pony tail anymore, she let them lose, "which is obviously better" Sid thought. She wore little bit of kajal now and her shalwar kameez were a lot less fluffy. His smiling face turns to horror as he realizes what this means.)
Sid: I'm a dead man.
Con: You wish!
Abbas: kya huaa? Arrey yeh toh Riddhima Gupta ki picture hai. Badi pyari bachi thi.
Sid: aap isse jaantey they?
Abbas: haan. Zyada baat nahin karti thi aur bohot kam logon seh ghul milti thi. Jab bhi college aati thi toh mujhse gate "Good morning" keh ke jaati thi. Itni maasoon bachi keh saath itney kam umar mein kya kuch nahin huaa.
Sid: kya huaa? I mean aisa bhi kya huaa keh aap depress hogaye?
Abbas:tumharey saath padthi par doosrey section mein. Graduation seh do char haftey pehley isski shaadi tey kardiya. Khush thi. Usska mangetar tumharey saath padtha tha… Suraj naam ka ladka.
Sid: oh achaa toh abh Suraj kahan hai?
Abbas: uss naamard keh baarye mein kya kahoon. Tumharey College mein graduation party rakhi thi… Tum bhi toh tey uss raat.
Sid: yaad nahin aaraha…. Kaunsa party? Woh farewell wali?
Abbas: haan wahi jis mein tum sab hostel mein bhi subha thak party kar rahey tey..
(Sid fidgets in his chairs some what knowing what was coming next.)
Sid: phir?
Abbas: bachi gate pey merey saath bethi thi. Ussey andar nahin jaana tha. Tabhi Suraj aaya aur seh laak manaa karney keh bawajood andar lekey gaya.
(Sid was beginning to sweat now. He really didn't want to continue with the story but his feet were frozen.)
Abbas: saari raat bachey party sharty kartey rahey aur subhe hone par pata chala keh Riddhima keh glass kisi ney kuch mila diya tha.
(Sid swallows hard.)
Abbas: uss keh baad toh kuch bhi sahi nahin huaa. Jo ladka Riddhima keh saath tha sari raat uska kuch pata nahin. Aur Suraj ney toh Riddhima ko sab keh saamney beizat kar keh chala gaya. Riddhima keh ghar walon ney bhi uska saath nahin diya aur bechari ney ghar ko chod keh kahin aur bhass gayi.
(Sid begins to sulk in his chair, knowing that all though he caused all the troubles in Riddhima's life he never had to pay for it, until now.)
Abbas: abh kya kar saktey hain… sabkey naseeb mein kabhi na kabhi kuch mushkilein aahi jaati hain.
(The indirect consolation of Abbas wasn't helping Sid at all. At this moment he felt guilt like never before. He thought he was going to be sick. The mere thought of him putting Riddhima through all that was hard to swallow. "I cant think of it but what if at the end of the day this seriously turns out to be my fault, can I handle it?" his thoughts were mixed and he finally thanks Abbas and leaves the room. He drags his feet across the floor, his body felt heavy with what he just heard. "Could it be?" He thought. He couldn't answer that question. It was obvious by now that Sid was in that party but how on earth did he take advantage of an unconscious girl? That was something he would never do. He had done a lot of bad things but this was evil. Sid shakes his head, trying to get rid of all the thoughts. He didn't want to think about what he had or hadn't done. He didn't want consider the fact that he may be Aryan's father after all. He walks to his car and calls up Adi and Dheeraj. They meet at a caf. And Sid narrates the whole story without editing any part.)
Adi: so what you're trying to tell us is that if there is any possibility that Aryan is your child then he is the outcome of drunken night?
(Sid had his hand on his foreheade, covering most of his face)
Sid: yes.
Dheeraj: Oh.
(There was a moment of silence. No one knew what to say or rather how to say it.)
Dheeraj: But lets say if Riddhima did get drunk then how?
Adi: Man, it was a crazy party, you cant blame her if she took a sip.
Sid: She wouldn't. But even if, for argument's sake, she did then am I seriously low enough to take advantage of someone drunk?
Adi: Maybe it was the other way around.
(Sid and Dheeraj just shot him a blank look and Adi pursed his lips, knowing that was out of question.)
Sid: but how do we find out what happened?
Con: maybe asking someone who wasn't drunk that night would help?
Sid: right…
Dheeraj: what's right?
Sid: lets ask someone who hadn't drained bottles down their throat.
Adi: The young man to our right is too righteous to take a sip even at a night like that.
(Adi smiles at Dheeraj)
Dheeraj: I wasn't there that night remember?
Adi: oh yeah, you always miss out on the fun.
Dheeraj: Look at where fun got you today?
Adi: Correction:- look at where fun got HIM today.
(Sid sulks on his chair.)
Adi: Come on, we can fix this. Heck, I'll even pay the bill if it makes you feel better.
(Dheeraj and Sid smile knowing Adi only offered to pay the bill since there was only was coffee on the table and it was his.)
Dheeraj: Let me call Suneil, he might know.
(All three of them began dialing numbers after number trying to reach down to that one person who would know anything about that night. It wasn't that everyone passed out, but just that most of the had forgotten.)
Dheeraj: Dead End. I finished all my contacts.
Adi: Same here.
Sid: there is just that Kunal guy left.
Adi: the druggy?
Dheeraj: He is handling his dad's business now.
Sid: Yeah the same guy
(Sid dials the number unsure. He didn't talk to Kunal much back in college and his number was just taken as a formality since everyone was exchanging numbers.)
Kunal: Kunal Patel here.
Sid: hey… its Sid… Siddhart Modi. College days, remember me?
Kunal: Delhi College?
Sid: yeah man! How's it been?
Kunal: Good. How's it been for you?
Sid: fine I guess.
(There was an awkward silence)
Kunal: So? Itney dino baad?
Sid: haan wo kuch kaam tha…. I mean I needed your help with something.
Kunal: Business finance issue? Or something?
Sid: Nah.. Nothing like that. Can I come over, its like important.
Kunal: Im not home at the moment. How about we meet somewhere?
Sid: better still. There is this caf we are at if you could get there…
(Sid tells him where he was and Kunal shows up after about an hour. There wasn't a hug or high fives like old college friends, simply because they weren't. They were more of acquaintances.)
Kunal: so how are you guys? Still all together?
Adi: May death do as apart.
Kunal: you guys are still the same.
Sid: yeah.
Kunal: so whats this about?
Sid: well there is this girl I wanted to know about…
Kunal: what girl?
Sid: Riddhima.. Riddhima Gupta.
Kunal: Oh.. Her…
(his voice trailed off and Sid knew that Kunal knew about what had gone wrong.)
Sid: yh… have you heard of her lately?
Kunal: Not really… just that she is still somewhere in Delhi.
Sid: What happened to her at the farewell night? Its all crazy talk around here.
Kunal: yh man seriously… it wasn't right on her part. I mean I knew her from some of my classes and to see her end up the way she did, it was really hard..
Sid: So u knew her? Like you guys were friends?
(Kunal laughs.)
Kunal: You don't remember much about me? Do you? I was the one who always ended up with the drugs…
Adi: Oh we remembered that.
(Dheeraj looks at Adi who realizes what went out his mouth.)
Adi: I mean it wasn't like you were a smuggler or anything.. Just a little bit of fun.
(Sid would have normally laughed at Adi for bringing himself in the awkward situation, but right now he was tensed. He couldn't accept the fact that Aryan was his son but a part of him was beginning to.)
Sid: getting back to Riddhima… What actually happened? Man I need to know!
(Kuanl was hesitant)
Sid: Come on man it was long ago! No body really cares now.. You can spill.
Kunal: well u know I had a crush on Sam right?
Sid: yeah…
(Sid remembered Sam quickly. It wasn't that she was beautiful or anything, it was quite the opposite. Sam was Kunal's partner in crime in most scenarios. And Sid used to think that Kunal liked Sam a lot and probably just to remain in her company, he would get into all the mess. Now his doubts were proven right, he would have smiled at this fact had he not been trying to determine whether Aryan was his son or not.)
Kunal: That night I brought her ecstasy.
Adi: THE DATE RAPE DRUG??? WERE YOU INSANE?
Kunal: she wanted to try it and well… I was dumb enough to bring it for her. I stirred it into our soft drinks so that no one would would doubt us and left it where she asked me to. She came the table to take a sip and that's when Suraj brought Riddhima into the party.
(Kunal looks down almost as if he was still afraid to tell the story.)
Kunal: well after that… some how… I am not sure but somehow the drinks got swapped and Riddhima ended up with ecstasy. That night me and Sam went home. The next morning my mom kept talking about how Delhi college spoils young girls. At first I wasn't sure what she was talking about but then later on to mentioning Riddhima and that's when I got the whole story. I called up Sam and told her that we should confess but she refused. She said that Riddhima probably ended up with her fiance and her parents maybe twisted at her now but soon they will come around.
Dheeraj: and you didn't confess?
(Kunal nodded)
Adi: so you're telling me that you believed Sam's little story? That just because of her you decided to let Riddhima get tortured?
Kunal: I wanted to believe the story but I couldn't. Later on I came to know that she hadn't been with her fiance that night. The other drink was served to someone else who was around her.
(Sid couldn't stay composed anymore. At that moment he couldn't fool himself anymore. He wanted to get off the chair and go for a walk or drive, anything for that matter that would just take him away from what he was listening to but his body felt too heavy to be moved.)
Con: Not that it needs to be pointed out, but I think we are pretty sure who the other drink was served to.
Kunal: After that I didn't want to consult Sam, and I headed off to Riddhima's house. They wouldn't let me in. They got pretty mad when I told them that I was from her high school and finally the guard told me that she had left the house.
(Sid closed his eyes to absorb all that he heard. It was hard to say whether Kunal felt more guilty or Sid but Sid was definitely more depressed. After a few formal words Kunal excuses himself and leaves, during the whole time Sid didn't speak. He was silent but his mind wasn't. He drove home and no one spoke. Each one of the was thinking what did Riddhima do to deserve this?! Sid was restless that night. He could go to sleep.)
Con: Close your eyes.
Sid: that will not help.
Con: how can you be so sure?
Sid: Actually I am not. I cant be sure of anything in my life. I mean I'm the guy who didn't know he had a child till yesterday!
Con: well you're finally ashamed of you have become.
Sid: This day just cant get worse.
(Sid closes his eyes to shut everything else out. Just when he thinks he drifted to sleep, he sees himself and then realizes its his conscience.)
Sid: And I thought I almost, almost fell a sleep.
Con: Oh you are asleep.
Sid: You're not making sense anymore.
Con: You're dreaming and I'm in it.
Sid: Okay I take my words back, the day can get worse!
Con: oh its about to get a lot more worse.
(Sid looks around and the darkness vanishes and they were in his college's field again.)
Sid: Okay? Now what? Is this some cynical plot to drive me insane?
Con: No, its my concern.
(Sid looks around and the college is filled with people all of a sudden. He looks closely and it wasn't the new faces he saw this morning but it was old faces. Some he remembered now and some were always in his memory. They were his classmates. He sees himself walk amidst the crowd with Adi and Dheeraj. Then the scenario changes again. He was at a party. Loud music. Drinks being passed around. People talking but not really listening and in between all this, he notices a girl. Her hair was tied in a neat ponytail and she wore fluffy shalwar kameez. She seemed lost and a bit scared, like she didn't belong there at all. It was Riddhima. A bit younger but not so different. He wanted to go there and comfort her. Tell her its all okay but he knew he couldn't, after all it was a dream. He sees his younger self again. He noticed that he fitted well in the party animal scene. He moved around the room like he belonged there, high fiving and telling girls that they looked good. And then he notices Kunal and Sam. They were alone and didn't really bother about socializing much. Sam leaves and Kunal takes something out of his pocket and pours it into the drinks and leaves. And that is when Sid realizes.)
Sid: Oh shit! This isn't a dream.
Con: no it actually is.
Sid: it's the party night you fool!
Con: Its your sub-conscience moron! But you're still dreaming.
(Sid then focuses on the drinks. The waiter picks up Sam and Kunal's drinks and serves one of the glasses to Riddhima. She gulps it down and she looked thirsty. On the other hand younger Sid was busy partying. He takes the drink from the waiter and puts on the table. Riddhima begins to go dizzy and holding on to the wall she manages to walk into a bedroom away from all the noise. Younger Sid starts talking to some guy who tells her that Priya is still waiting for him. Sid tells him that he will get there ASAP. He dances a bit more and decides to go to Priya. His head begins to feel a lot heavier and he drift into Riddhima's room. Sid and Con standing outside the room look devastated. Sid prays that the younger Sid walk out of the room immediately but he doesn't. The party scenario changes again and Sid was inside the room where he and Riddhima were. A phone begins to ring and younger Sid picks it up.)
Sid: Hello?
Dad: hello ke bachey!
Sid: Dad, mujhe toh laaga tha keh main aap ka bacha hoon, yeh hello kaun hai?
Dad: Not funny!! Are you up or still sleeping at Adi's?
Sid: I am up. (Clearly lying)
Dad: If ur up then I suppose you are in the airport waiting for your flight to Canada.
Sid: Yeah… Im at the airport, the flight has been delayed… due some kind of weather conditions.
(His dad believes him and younger Sid lets out a sigh of relief. He gets out of bed and holds his still heavy head. He looks back to only see Riddhima's hair since her face was turned to the pillow.)
Sid: God! Priya… priya… listen I need to go..
(He begins to put on his clothes.)
Sid: Don't get too pissed… I will call you once Im there.
(And just like that, without looking back to see who really was with him, younger Sid runs out the door. Sid and Con stand behind in the room and Sid looks at the sleeping Riddhima. She was peacefully asleep. Sid keeps looking at and his thoughts drift to how her expression would be once she wakes up. He doesn't want to imagine that. He doesn't want to see her agony. He prays to wake up. He blinks and he sees a light bulb above him. At first he stands bewildered. His fingers move through the sheets and he realizes that he is in bed. His own bed. He was thankful that he did wake up but at the same time he wished he just never woke up.)
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