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Breathless ~2~...Note! Page 34 (Page 8)

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crimson_10

Senior Member

crimson_10

Joined: 07 March 2010

Posts: 407

Posted: 29 December 2010 at 1:05am | IP Logged
This fic is just awesome! Just love the way this story is shaping up. Coming to your writing style, it so beautiful and engaging that I don't have a proper word to describe it right now.
 
Can you please add me to your PM list?
 
Aashi

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disco_diva

Goldie

disco_diva

Joined: 19 August 2008

Posts: 2301

Posted: 29 December 2010 at 2:45pm | IP Logged
O God!!!! So awesome to read your ff again!!!!!!! Missed it terribly Unhappy!!!!
As usuall amazing update and now pls continue soon no more excuses Wink lolzzz..thx alot for the pm totally loved it!!!!!!!


-Amna

Medha.

IF-Sizzlerz

Medha.

Joined: 03 September 2010

Posts: 19015

Posted: 29 December 2010 at 4:43pm | IP Logged
I had absolutely no idea that you had opened up a new thread, until yesterday.  Anyways, the part was very nice.  Nice to see you back after a long time.  God, the boys are very desperate.  The AR part was pretty hilarious.  Armaan waited outside the girl's locker room, only to see Riddhima?  That's nice.  God!  Riddhima is just tooo much!  And Armaan isn't less either!  Seriously!  Loved the A-A-A part.  Please update super soon, and do add me to the PM list.

...Aphrodite...

Senior Member

...Aphrodite...

Joined: 09 January 2008

Posts: 914

Posted: 29 December 2010 at 5:27pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by ..Mira..

RESERVED :D

OMG, My net just had to go out when I went to go edit this comment. Okie, I need to go read it one more time LOL I still can't believe you're back, and with such a bang! Your update wasn't disappointing at all..I PROMISEEE <3 AHH, you know what's really funny is for the past few days especially..I've been pressing refresh to see if you've updated..and I don't come online for a couple hours..and it's been updated!LOL AHH, but this was a nice surprise. Promise to come back soon with  my comment :D
----

Shrina, honestly I can't even tell you how amazing a writer you are! Everything in your fan fic just flows so easily and beautifully! The conversations. the characters, the interactions..it all feels so real..and I guess that's part of the reason I love your fic so much, is because in a way it's really realistic, and there's such subtle romance oozing from each line, each part! Day Dreaming

Okay, I've said this once before, but I can't help but repeat myself..I absolutely lovee the Riddhima in your fan fic. She has this spunk in her that I absolutely love!

"Did they spray viagra in the air or something?" Riddhima questioned,

That made me laugh so much when I read it. I could totally imagine them being stared down by the young, and some not so young guys at the gym! How do you come up with these lines? They're so witty! LOL I loved how you added in the greasy afro haired guy..aha poor Muskaan!

Oh, and that's another character that I love. She has so much of the DMG Muskaan in her, yet she's so different at the same time, and I absolutely love that! She's feisty, and sexy, and it would be a sin if I didn't tell you how extremely cute I found the interactions between Rahul and Muskaan!  But I'll tell you about that. when I get to that part :D

Riddhima took a deep breath and nervously glanced up to see what unfortunate soul she had just thrown her not-so-fresh self at. To her complete surprise, she was met by a smiling face with a familiar pair of sparkling grey eyes looking down at her.

 

Armaan?


I absolutely am in LOVE with the Armaan in your fan fic! You make him sound unbelievably sexy! Embarrassed


Riddhima realized that she was still pressed up against his chest and started to back away when his hand shot out and brushed against her cheek. Her heart started beating wildly in her chest at the contact. She felt like she had just run the fifty yard dash, simply from his light touch across her skin.

Not only Riddhima's my heart started beating 423480291483 times faster too! LOL I was like what did he say, what is he doing..? Until I read that he was only reaching over to tug her earphones out..but the way he made his hands deliberately brush over her cheeks like that before he tugged them out made me love him even more. It's those little gestures that you make him do that I absolutely love. They're obviously both crazily attracted to each other, and just these little things make it even cuter.

deep, smooth-as-silk voice in her ear.

AHH, I love the way you describe his voice!

Armaan scoffed at her last two words....Oh okay Riddhima.

Ha, I love him. He was obviously enjoying having her so close to him because she obviously would never press against his body like that deliberately..atleast not yet Embarrassed


"Definitely definitely page 92." Armaan stated in between laughs. "Damn Anjali...we all know you'd be flexible in bed. You don't need to show it off to all your admirers."

LOLLL. Armaan, man he definitely lives up to his image! LOL

He reached over and took her bottle of water away from her in an attempt to meet here eye to eye.

Rahul and Muskaan are so extremely cute in your fan fic, and to be honest..I like them a lot better here than I did in DMG. The whole fidgeting with her water bottle out of nervousness, and then him take it away from her...the quiet nervous voices they talked in..and his comment about how she made him so happy and all..so so so cute! I especially loved how you ended the part with him asking her if she really just wanted a girls night out? I was hoping she'd ask them to join tooLOL  But it's okay, I'm sure you'll have something great for the next part too..and a girls night out is definitely always fun!



Shrina! I know I've said "I love, I love, I love" like a 1000 times in this comment already, but I really did LOVE how Riddhima thought about Armaan while taking her showerEmbarrassed That was so cute, and then the way he was waiting outside for her! I just love everything about AR, and their interactions and just everything in this FFDay Dreaming It gives me butterflies in my tummy just reading about them! This Casanova is definitely falling hard for Riddhima!

You're such an amazing writer, I honestly am a fan! This has to be the best FF on the forum, and I really hope we'll get an update soooon! But I'm just really glad you got this part up..it was definitely worth the long wait! Big smile There's just no words to describe how good you are, and perfect your FF is.  It truly leaves me breathless


-Mira

p.s. sorry for the long comment but I couldn't help it Embarrassed



Hey Mira! Oh god..I've been there done that with the net going! So annoying.
Haha!! I'm back..thank you for the love! it feels so good to be here!

The whole point of my FF was to make it a little realistic, these artsy fartsy romances are great but are never relatable. I wanted to make a ff that people could imagine clearly and realistically so thank you for mentioning that!
Riddhima in DMG started to get a little annoying for me towards the end...actually they all started get really towards the end in my opinion! Haha. I had to tweak the characters a little (okay well a lot) so I'm glad you like her wit.
I try my best to keep the FF funny too so I'm glad you enjoyed it! haha
Muskaan and Anjali are probably alot like their DMG counterparts yet I tried to change them just a little just so that they fit my FF better. Muskaan is extra feisty in my FF and I think it suits her...after all she is Anjali's younger sister in my FF haha.
Oh Armaan...I had to make him sexy! That's the whole point of FFs right? So you can swoon over the lead...well in this case there is more than one male lead...a treat for the ladies =) lol
I'm glad you liked the headphone tugging bit! One of my biggest pet peeves with reading (or watching) anything romantic is when they rush things. Day 1...they met...day 2 they kissed....and then what? The story starts to become boring...and when they do get intimate you're not at all interested. Breathless is moving so slowly because I wanted everyone to experience the smaller things like the way a girl feels when you brush her cheek or hold her etc.
Haha...Armaan has my sense of humour...inappropriate but hella funny! lol
It seems like your an AR fan so thank you for appreciating the other couples as well! The whole reason I started with all of the couples (even though I knew I was shooting myself in the foot with the workload) is because I wanted my FF to be for everyone! lol
I'm so glad that I have you reading my FFs...long comments are my absolute favorites and I want to thank you for taking the time out and writing it for me.
Best fanfic?! Oh my...I don't know whether I deserve that I title but thanks for it anyways!
Your comment made me smile and it was very inspiring...thank you for the kind words! Hope there are many more comments from you oh and I see that you've recommended my FF to a few people! They've mentioned your name....I really appreciate it! xx

Originally posted by qazplm

Firstly, a huge congratulations to you for opening a second threadClapPartyThis FF truly in every sense deserves to complete as many threads as it wants to. The story, the characters, the writing, the flow, the pictures....absolutely everything is applaud worthy. Shrina, your my rockstar.Hug

This part was so so sooooo amazing. I loved so many parts...it's just hard to pinpoint one. RM are really interesting, but AA truly have some crackling chemistry in your FF. And then AR, where do I start? They have such an awkward beautiful connection going on...I can't help but blush in all their parts. Armaan is so my favorite character. (more of him pretty please in the next part)

Some of the parts I loved:

"Bye" Armaan caught her green eyes and she smiled back. She walked away with her long, glossy black ponytail bouncing behind her while her curvy hips swayed gently from side to side, mesmerizing him.

 

Damn.

This part could have seemed vulgar or crude...but it just comes off as very endearing. I love how Armaan's so mesmerized by her.

"Definitely definitely page 92." Armaan stated in between laughs. "Damn Anjali...we all know you'd be flexible in bed. You don't need to show it off to all your admirers."

The whole scene between the three was hilarious. Atul's comments and Anjali's retorts were making me go ROFL.ROFL And then the whole Kamasutra talk was just LFMAOLOL

Her breath caught in her lungs when she turned a corner and looked up to find Armaan leaning against the wall outside the women's locker room, waiting for her.

And ofcourse the AR scene...their just too magical. Even a simple look between them makes me all giddy.


All in all, I love you and your FF so damn much. It makes me so happy when you update. And now that this update of yours has left me all breathless, please do the tiny favor of letting me know when your planning to update so that I can start breathing again?Embarrassed


Hey love! How are you doing?

Thank you so much for your congratulations!! Haha...with the snail pace my FF's moving I'm sure there will e many more to come! You are my rockstar!! You always praise me more than I deserve to be so thank you for that!!

You're an AR fan right? I'm glad you're enjoying the other couples as well...it's hard work to make them all equally interesting! Trust me lol I love Armaan and don't worry there will be more of him!

I love when comments copy and paste bits that they like! It's so useful for me to know what I've done right. I'm sure it must have been tedious though so thanks for the effort! Oh the 'damn' thing...see I didn't want it to seem like he was checking out her ass (i'm sure he was lol)....I wanted it to be a little deeper than that but at the same time I want this FF to be real. And reality is...guys check girls out...lol period.

The yoga scene was sooo much fun to write! I like the guys chemistry and when you mix it with the girls...it's such a good time!

I like how you like the subtle gestures between AR...even if it is just a look! After all don't we all feel giddy when the guy we like is looking at us...it should be the same way in my FF too.

I love you and you comments SO much. Oh and my next update is actually already few pages in which is rare as I always wait a week to start writing the next chapter...it should be up soon. No promises though! lol

Thank you so much for a warm welcome... really appreciate it xx

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qazplm

...Aphrodite...

Senior Member

...Aphrodite...

Joined: 09 January 2008

Posts: 914

Posted: 29 December 2010 at 5:38pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by koolsana

ReservedEmbarrassed




Comment soon love!

Originally posted by LOVEDMG-AR


Hi Dear,
Finally u are back and updated
First congratz on new thread
And the part was just awesome
Such a funny part heheh.
But waiting when somehting is gonna happen between AR
hehe.
Loved Rahul-Muskaan part so sweet.
Thanku so much for the PM
And plz plz plz update soonnn!
 
LoveSurat.




Hi Surat! I know I'm finally back lol...and hopefully back to stay! Thank you so much for the congratulations! I'm glad you liked the part and found it funny...I had fun writing it. Something will happened with AR...don't worry. You're very welcome for the PM and I'll update as soon as possible. Thank you for commenting honey! xx

Originally posted by -Nina-

SHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
jana you BACK ?! :O
 
Im sooo happyy to see you back
CONGRATZ for the new thread *jhappiizz*
 
Wooowwww ouuttstanddiinngg update jana, like always , you left us "BREATHLESS"
 
Loved the way you described , Armaan's feelings/reactions and all, and same goes for Riddhima, and others ^^
 
It was sooo cuutee, loved their little scene, lol she couldnt hear anything, cause of her song :P
 
he was like mesmeriizzeeddd by her *dreamy*
 
loved the way he blackmailed her , for telling him the truth :P adorraablleeeeeeee <3
 
and lol Anji's part was sooooo fuunny lol , poor Armaan and his dirty sense of humour ROFL :P
 
Simplyyyyyy GREAAATTTTT
Totallyy looveedd itttt
 
ROCKING update
Welcome BACK once again
 
Cant wait for the next update <3
 
Love, Nina ^^



NINAAAAA!! How are you girl?!!

I'm so happy to hear from you! Thank you for the congratulations!! Haha I'm glad my chpater left you 'breathless' unless your asthmatic...in which case I'm not haha. I tried my best to be as descriptive as possible with their feelings so I'm glad you noticed and appreciated that. He's definitely interested in her as she is in him! You're an AR fan! Haha...I can tell. The yoga scene was so much fun to write up!
Thank you SO much for your kind words and hopefully I'll see more of you in my next chapters!! The next one's coming up soon...thanks for commenting honey xx

Originally posted by nidz n

amazing...u r bak with da bang...waiting for more updates...plzz dont make uz wait for da next 7 months:P...tc


Thank you!! Yup I'm back! I definitely won't make you wait that long again lol...next chapters actually coming up soon! Don't worry. Thanks for the sweet words nidz! Hope to see you in the next chap =) xx


The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

LOVEDMG-ARqazplm

shininggal2008

IF-Sizzlerz

shininggal2008

Joined: 26 March 2009

Posts: 22120

Posted: 29 December 2010 at 8:07pm | IP Logged
Wow that was one heck of a part.
It feel great to have you back with the update.
 I simply loved reading the part.
Please do keep updating more as time permits.
Thanks for the PM.

ClapClapClap ClapClapClap ClapClapClap

Clap

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

qazplm

desire_20

IF-Dazzler

desire_20

Joined: 24 June 2009

Posts: 4096

Posted: 29 December 2010 at 10:27pm | IP Logged
im gonna go reread this from the beginning...thought of letting u know so u get happy and quickly give us another amazing update, like always....so jaldiiii, start writing!!

angullgrl91

IF-Rockerz

angullgrl91

Joined: 23 August 2006

Posts: 5363

Posted: 29 December 2010 at 10:46pm | IP Logged
HAHHAHAHHAHHAHA...your finally back and with such a hilarious part too!! good work!
armaan was hilarious with that kamasutra page # reference..lol
everything was really funny!
keep it up!
and thanks for continuing :)

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