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This is a wonderful FF. Thanks for that. You are doing a very good job of fitting Ridhima's and Arman's past reactions to what she actually would be feeling + extrapolating the future with the help of this curves that fitted. You have also curve fitted Arman's reactions. And I must say you have done a wonderful job, from the point of view of a person sympathetic towards woman and her position. In this context I would like to paste a para that I said long time back in one of my posts
This is like "curve fitting" in our research world. We have noisy observations of a system's output, we don't know the law governing the behaviour of the system. Then we try to fit a known curve: we choose that curve as the behaviour which has fits best with the observations, i.e., error between the observations and the observation obtained using that curve is minimum. The curve describing the behaviour will depend upon the set of known curves that you were considering.
The scenes are noisy observations of the Ridz behaviour/feelings. We depending upon our favourism try to fit a known behaviour pattern as hers.
But I have few complaints
1) Why did you kill Shilpa and her husband? There is something called Katha Nyayam, i.e., justice to a character. May be you could have got to this point in story in another way. Why poor Shilpa's life has to have so many sad moments and twists?
2) Why Sid is alone till today ? It is not quite convincing me. I might have been more convinced, if you could have shown that he actually lost belief in relationships, because of the way things ended. I mean if Ridz has choose Arman in the begining itself, he would have moved on as his belief in relations would not have died then. But with her convincing Sid to a great extent that she loves him, she taking so many extereme steps to prove that she wants only him and in the end butchering it to be a drama, will actually leave the other person totally not believe in any future relations and the actions of the future possible close associations. I mean he will not belive when a woman comes, showers interest towards him, after Ridz incident, as he will keep questioning the other person's hidden motives. Further, again there is no Katha nyayam here.
This is just my POV and please take it as a constructive criticism.
But I just loved the way you extrapolated Ridz and Arman's future relationship. That is on spot. But friend, there is too much sadness, which holds the audience like a glue and at the same time pains us.
The most important thing: I think you can become an excellent writer. Just think little more while formulating the story and you can do wonders. Please don't stop after this. You have very good vision, writing and understanding skills.
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Joined: 13 September 2010
The much awaited .........so here is the update but only fulfilling your wish partially .........
Riddhima parked and walked into Sanjeevani. As she walked in she felt at peace. It was just another day. But she did not how this was going to change her life for ever.
She walked upto the nurse station and checked if the duties were properly lined up or not. She asked a nurse going towards her cabin to put her bag in. The same feeling was tugging her heart. She brushed it aside thinking that maybe her conversation with Atul was influencing it. She proceeded to take her rounds to check if all is going well. When she was approached the section which had the operation theatres she noticed a buzz in the viewing gallery. She waited at the entrance to understand what the conversation was instead of just barging in to fire the interns for chatting instead of observing.
Intern1: Freak man what the hell is this person? He has been on his feet for like what 4 hours now yet look at him.
Intern2: Saale ka kya haath hai ........Rock steady ......awesome.........
Riddhima realised the interns were just discussing about the surgeons skills. Hence did not barge in. She was wondering which surgery it was when a nurse passed by.
Riddhima: Nurse kaunsa operation chal raha hai ........
Nurse: Purva Shah........woh head injury wali.........
Riddhima: Oh....ok theek hai
She turned and walked out when she recollected that the papers for this were not yet signed. She called out to the nurse and asked her to ask a ward boy or another nurse to bring the file while she was there.
She completed the rounds and came back to the viewing gallery. The strange feeling of warmth was again being sensed. She brushed her thoughts aside to find that many of the interns except two who were observing the operation were gone as they had duties.
Riddhima: How long is the operation going on for?
Intern 1: It's almost 6 hours.
Riddhima: hmmm ok are you done with your duties or have you been asked to observe?
Intern1 a bit scared that if she does not give a satisfactory answer she would be in for a firing: No we were on early morning shift and done with the duties. Thought of waiting back don't know when we will get a chance to observe such a skilled doctor operating.
Riddhima just nodded and just as she was going to start observing the operation the nurse came with the file she had asked for.The viewing gallery had couple of chairs and a large LCD monitor which ran the live relay of the operation more of the close up of the what the surgeon was doing. Also there was a large glass window where one could see the doctors and surgeons at work. She took the file and absent mindedly opened it while looking toward the monitor. She kept observing it for some time and then she pulled out a pen to sign the papers and shifted her attention to look at the file. She started scanning through the documentation at a fast pace. She knew Juhi was very prim with her work and she really just has to breeze through them. Half of her attention was at the LCD screen. She could not understand why she found everything so familiar. She came upon the sanction document authorising a non-affiliate doctor to operate in Sanjeevani. She glanced at the document for a moment to locate the dotted line, signed it and moved to the next form. She was looking through this form when she suddenly turned back to the previous page. This time, reading it more intently. Name of the Doctor: Dr. Siddhant Modi ................Dr. Siddhant Modi the words escaped her mouth ............Sid!!!
Link to the next update
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hum saath saath hai part 90 updates pg 16
Author: mithilalovesksg Replies: 166 Views: 32365
|mithilalovesksg||166||32365||22 June 2013 at 7:16am by loveuarmaanu|
AR FF : Hum Saath Saath Hain "imp.note=63"28/9
Author: Riddss Replies: 503 Views: 85933
|Riddss||503||85933||28 September 2009 at 8:03am by Riddss|
hum saath saath hai ar ff with others also
Author: mithilalovesksg Replies: 25 Views: 7179
|mithilalovesksg||25||7179||08 April 2009 at 7:57am by Riddss|
Hum Saath Saath Hain
Author: am_786 Replies: 13 Views: 5721
|am_786||13||5721||30 November 2006 at 6:40pm by brainychild92|
Hum Hum Saath Saath Hain *KSBKBT*
Author: mizzdesi Replies: 7 Views: 3165
|mizzdesi||7||3165||18 July 2006 at 11:56am by Krishana Tulsi|
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