Hi DJ,
This is a wonderful FF. Thanks for that. You are doing a very good job of fitting
Ridhima's and Arman's past reactions to what she actually would be
feeling + extrapolating the future with the help of this curves that fitted. You
have also curve fitted Arman's reactions. And I must say you have done a
wonderful job, from the point of view of a person sympathetic towards woman and
her position. In this context I would like to paste a para that I said
long time back in one of my posts
This is like "curve fitting" in our research world. We have noisy
observations of a system's output, we don't know the law governing the
behaviour of the system. Then we try to fit a known curve: we choose that
curve as the behaviour which has fits best with the observations, i.e.,
error between the observations and the observation obtained using that curve is
minimum. The curve describing the behaviour will depend upon the set of
known curves that you were considering.
The scenes are noisy observations of the Ridz behaviour/feelings. We depending
upon our favourism try to fit a known behaviour pattern as hers.
But I have few complaints
1) Why did you kill Shilpa and her husband? There is something called Katha
Nyayam, i.e., justice to a character. May be you could have got to this
point in story in another way. Why poor Shilpa's life has to have so many sad
moments and twists?
2) Why Sid is alone till today ? It is not quite convincing me. I might have
been more convinced, if you could have shown that he actually lost belief in
relationships, because of the way things ended. I mean if Ridz has
choose Arman in the begining itself, he would have moved on as his belief in
relations would not have died then. But with her convincing Sid to a great
extent that she loves him, she taking so many extereme steps to prove that she
wants only him and in the end butchering it to be a drama, will actually leave
the other person totally not believe in any future relations and the
actions of the future possible close associations. I mean he will not belive
when a woman comes, showers interest towards him, after Ridz incident, as he
will keep questioning the other person's hidden motives. Further, again there
is no Katha nyayam here.
This is just my POV and please take it as a constructive criticism.
But I just loved the way you extrapolated Ridz and Arman's future relationship.
That is on spot. But friend, there is
too much sadness, which holds the audience like a glue and at the same
time pains us.
The most important thing: I think you can become an excellent writer. Just
think little more while formulating the story and you can do wonders. Please
don't stop after this. You have very good vision, writing and understanding skills.