Crazy Creatives Lead
Joined: 17 February 2010
Sometimes, I find myself wondering where this is all heading. I mean, with each passing second it feels as if though a new journey has begun; a journey which doesn't seem to make any sense, to me at least. I don't know why this is happening. It feels as if though the world I set up around myself has collapsed. It's like I tried so hard to cover up the darkness of my past, but all of the sudden everything just fell apart.
Who knows, maybe I haven't quite accepted the truth. Or maybe this is the truth. Maybe, I just keep running away from it, trying to pretend as if though nothing happened, just hoping to wake up soon from this nightmare.
Well, that's what I find myself in these days. Confused on where I came from; confused on what I'm doing; confused on where I'm going.
Weird ? Possibly
Sometimes it's just hard to deny certain factors. But, I don't know what I'm trying to deny or what exactly I'm trying to protect myself from. It's like I'm walking on a path, but I don't know where exactly it's leading to.
Everything felt fine and I was just walking on a path, a path that was already laid out for me. But somewhere in between, I lost myself. Yet, I was too caught up to even recognize it. I just kept walking without even realizing where my feet were taking me. When I finally turn to look back, I find the roads too unfamiliar, even wondering how I got here.
How can one be so clueless of themselves? I don't know
Either this is the path to self-discovery, or it is the path to self-destruction. I wish my mind was a bit clearer at the moment. It would make so many things feel easier.
But how am I going to do this?
It just feels a lot complicated the more I think about it. I know it's a bad idea to think too much, but over-imagining the possibilities is a part of me.
The people around me have this particular image set up of who I am and how I do. They only know what I try to be. They are not aware of the act I put up each day, just to please a few people.
They don't know who I am. In fact, even I've forgotten who I am. I stand in front of the mirror each day, just staring at the face in it, trying to make some connections.
But one thing I can guarantee, that's not me.
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