"Your going to say it today!" he told himself. "Come on dude. Its today or never!" He paced up and down his room. "Just go up and tell her ok. I love you! Thats not that tough. Breathe." He panicked. The moment he pictured her standing in front of him his heart beat increased and those words got stuck in his throat and he ended up swallowing it back inside. She was different. She wasn't like everyone else, who loved his "cool dude" attitude. She knew the real Samrat and always liked him that way. She tolerated his non-sense and his image dialogues and everything. She was HIS "Chashmish". She was the best. He hadn't felt this way for any girl in ages! He had fallen in love with her a year ago.. but he could never confess it. What if she rejected him? He had been a flirt and a womaniser but she wasn't like him. She was like no one. She was special. But she still wouldn't love him. She was way out of his league. She considered him her best friend and he couldnt risk their friendship just because he had feelings for her. He thought of confessing it today. Finally. Since it was the last day of college and after this she would go back to Morena and then maybe he would never see her again but ofcourse would talk to her on the phone. He had to confess it or else he would regret his whole life that he should have just told her. He rode his bike and stopped before another house. He looked at his watch. "Shit! I am late again." He said as he saw a girl in salwar walking towards him. He held his ears and she shook her head. "Your late again" she told him. "I am so sorry, chashmish!" he said. "I am used to it." She said in her soft voice. "Now come on, or else we will be even more late." He said. She sat down on his bike and he rode on. This was his usual routine. He would pick her up and take her to college.
He stopped only once they reached college and they both walked in together. Alot had happened in these three years of their college life. College was their home and they loved it more than their lives. Three years and today was the last day. No studying today. Today there would be tears in every eye and goodbyes and farewells on every mouth. The cool dude, Samrat, has no sooner entered college than all the girls had come to give their phone numbers and say "Keep in touch!". Gunjan looked away as the girls hugged samrat. Benji came to her and said, "Hey Gunjan" Gunjan smiled back in response. "Hi". "I dont feel like leaving this college. I just cant stay away.. I a going to miss it alot." He said. "Yeah. Me too. Where is dia?" she asked. "Oh yes. She was finding you." "I will go look for her!" she said as she looked around to get just one more glance at Samrat. Even he had his eyes on Gunjan and wanted to stop her from going. But well, the girls wouldn't leave him! He just gave Gunjan a weak smile and then received one back from him.
"Dia!" Gunjan said as she saw her talking to another girl. "Gunjan.. your
coming now? I told you to come with me na! Samrat never comes on time!" she
said. "Its okay dia. You know this is Samrat!" she exclaimed. "But Gunjan, I
think you should tell him how you feel." She said. "Dia.. not again.." she
said. "Dont start all this here. We talked about this!" "But Gunjan, its now or
never. You and Nupur are leaving for Morena tomorrow and after that you will
regret not telling him. Just tell him. As it is your going, so even if he doesn't
love you it wouldn't make a difference!" she said. "It will dia! It will. Our
friendship will be lost. And everything will be ruined. I cant tell Samrat. I
cant take a chance. If he would have feelings for me he would have told me by
now. But he hasn't. Why should I ruin my friendship.. and anyway, I am going
back to Morena and I am sure once I am back I will forget about all this!" "By
the way, I am really excited. Benji said he would come next week and talk to
Dad about us! Even Aunty is coming with him!" "Wao dia. Your really very
lucky!" "Even you are. But you dont want to tell him." "Dia enough." Gunjan
said seriously. "I have decided. I wont tell him. Thats all!" "What wont you
tell me?" Samrat said appearing from thin air. Gunjan looked down and then
away.. What would she say now. "Gunjan is in love!" Dia blurted out. Gunjan's
eyes widened and she looked angrily at Dia. "Fine. I thought you would want to
tell him! Anyway, I am leaving!" she told Gunjan and went away. "What?" Samrat
said with his face drooped. "Your in love? With whom?" he was little excited
but he wouldn't be able to bear it if she said someone else's name. "Who is it
Chashmish? And you havent told me yet? I thought we were best friends!" he
said. Gunjan groped for words. What would she tell him? Oh god! Dia had put her
in great trouble. She knew she was not ready to say it. "Is he special?" he
asked. "Oh Samrat. Enough. Its no one. Dia was just joking. We were just
talking about Morena. I miss Bauji and Bui. Its been so long since I have been
away. I just want to go back to where I belong." She said. "You belong here
also Chashmish. With me. I will be so lonely when you go, and this time I know
your not coming back, I know you wont be with me when I need you!" "Samraaat.
We will talk on the phone. And relax, you can come and meet me whenever you
want and about being there, I am always there for you, and you know that!" she
said. "But chashmish, do you have to
go?" he said, trying his best to do anything to stop her. He knew the answer
but... "Yes Samrat, Bauji wants us to come back now." She said hiding her
emotions. She was just glad that Samrat had forgotten about what Dia had said.
Samrat looked upset. "Dont be sad now Samrat.." she said. Samrat didnt know
what to say. He couldn't find words. Going away from Gunjan was going to be
very tough. He wanted to tell her his feelings but.. how? Too much was at risk.
He was almost sure that she would reject him and never speak to him again!
"Guys! I can't believe college is over!" Dia said coming back, almost sobbing. "We have had such an amazing time here. I wish I would have failed." She said. "Didz. Relax. We can join college again!" Uday said and all of them started laughing. "Uday.. it wont be the same again. All are friends are passing out and some are leaving.." Samrat said looking at Gunjan. Dia followed Samrat's gaze and said, "Yes Sammy, I know. I told Gunjan and Nupur to stay here but they wont listen. Well, we are cousins so I will be calling them over often. And listen (to Gunjan) you have to come. No excuses." Gunjan smiled. She knew she wouldnt want to come back. She would probably have to ask Dia to come over to Morena. It was really a very emotional day. Where ever they looked they saw tears and sighs. Uday and Dia went to meet everyone else while Samrat still sulked about the fact that Gunjan was leaving. Gunjan tried to explain again and again but he still wouldn't listen. 'How should I tell her? She looks so happy for going back. This obviously means she doesn't love me. And I cant take a chance with her. She is very sensitive and I know if she doesn't love me she will feel bad for me. And me, I'll just be alone for the rest of my life. But well, whats the harm in trying. On the other hand, if she says yes then maybe she wouldnt leave you and go!' Samrat told himself. He thought he would just say it in one shot. "Chashmish" he said. Gunjan turned to him. "yeah?" she said. "I need to tell you something.." he said taking a deep breathe. "yes.. tell me?" Gunjan said confused. Samrat couldnt speak. The words wouldn't come out. He felt like vomiting and he just could not say it. He was way too scared. "Samrat? You were saying something important!" "Hii Gunjan!" Vatsala said. "Hii Samrat! Watsup ? What are you two talking about?" Samrat let out a sigh and calmed down. 'I cant tell her. I just cant tell her. Bunk.. I cant risk our friendship. This is soo not happening. She is very happy about leaving and I should be happy for her. She is my best friend. I have to do this!' he said to himself.
So now, both of them were determined not to say a thing. Gunjan knew Samrat would reject her since she wasn't 'HIS TYPE'.. She just wasn't meant to be with Samrat, she was lucky to have got a friend in him but expecting more than that was just vain. Gunjan spoke to Vatsala for a long time, while Samrat was talking to Dia and Uday. "Dude, Can't we stop Nupur and Gunjan from going?" he said. "Nupur wants to stay, obviously, Mayank is here. Gunjan wants to go home. Nupur and Gunjan even had an argument yesterday. Gunjan has already packed Sammy. She is determined to leave. She said that her dad really wanted them back and she would listen to him. Nupur also got really pissed off, but then she agreed because she couldnt stay away from Gunjan." Dia said sighing. "No point in trying Sammy.." Samrat looked at Gunjan, she had a smile on her face. She was happy. How could Samrat come between her happiness? She was happy leaving him. She was happy to go. He excused himself and left.
"Dia!" Gunjan called out from across the corridor. "Where is Samrat? I have been trying to find him for almost half an hour now!" she said. "I don't know Gunjan, he was really upset." She said. Gunjan looked down. She knew he was upset because she was leaving, but what could she do? She knew it was no point telling him. She had to talk to him. She had to make him understand. But for that she had to find him. Gunjan looked everywhere. She searched the college called Samrat, but in vain. His phone was with Benji and he was no where. Gunjan went to his house in the evening. No one answered the door. She assumed he was not home.
That night she looked at her phone every now and then. Nothing. She sat on her bed wondering where Samrat was. She was getting worried now, but where would she go. She called his mobile once again. But no answer. She slept as she had an early train the next day. She had one slight hope, rather a belief, that whatever happened, Samrat would surely come to the station tomorrow. Whatever happened, he will meet her one last time.
The next morning, they got ready. Mayank, Dia, Uday and Benji were there at their house in the morning. But still no sign of Samrat. The room was full of sobs and tears. Mayank went to drop them off at the station. Gunjan still had a faint hope that Samrat would come at the station. Gunjan was silent the whole way. Mayank was talking to Nupur about coming to Morena in a few days to talk to bauji. It was almost 2 and a half years since they were seeing each other. Gunjan just looked outside the window as all the cars moved. As she entered the station she looked around. No sign of Samrat. She looked down. she texted Samrat again. "Di, mujhe dar lag raha hai.. Samrat.. samrat.. kal se phone nahi utha raha, woh ghar par bhi nahi tha.. Main kya karoo?" she said worried. Nupur didnt have an answer. "Gunjan, Dia Uday Benji usse dhoondne gaye hai na.." "Di, par, Samrat.. woh.. usse.. usse kuchh ho gaya toh? Woh kaha hoga..Mujhe bohot ghabrahat ho rahi hai di." "Toh Mat jao na chashmish" Samrat said appearing from behind. "Mat jao na please" he said in a teary voice. "Hum train main wait karte hai" Nupur told them as they left. "Samrat.." Gunjan said in an emotional voice. "Please chashmish mujhe chhodkar mat jao na.." he said, tears trickling down his eyes. Gunjan instantly wiped his tears, "Pagal ho kya Samrat!" she said. "Ro rahe ho?" she tried laughing. "Tumhari image ka kya?" she said trying to cheer him up. "Chashmish I won't be able to stay without you, we have been best friends for 3 years.." he said hugging her. Tears trickled down Gunjan's eyes too. "Dekho ab tumne mujhe bhi rula diya!" she said hitting him lightly. Samrat sobered up. "Toh tum apne jane ka decision nahi change karogi.." he said seriously, with narrowed eyes. Gunjan looked away. "Par tumhe mere bina rehna hoga Samrat, Main poori life tumhare saath toh nahi reh sakti naa.." "Kyu nahi..?" he said kiddishly. "Iska jawab tum jaante ho.." she said. "Hum roz baat karenge Samrat.. aur abhi di aur mayank ke shaadi main toh milenge hi.." she said smiling. "main nahi aunga.." he said. "Tum aoge." She replied. "Nahi." He replied. She just smiled as him, "Mujhe pata hai tum aoge... Bye." She said turning around. Samrat looked at her leave, with tears in his eyes and a heavy heart. She turned around a couple of times and then left. Samrat stood there for long. Looking at the full and busy, but yet empty platform, only to be taken home by Mayank...
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Yes, That's all. This is an OS on its own. But I will be writing a sequel to this. Just one more part. Will post that soon.
Hope you enjoyed the OS.
P.S. - Will update SLS today in the evening.
Love Youu,
Manjari.
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