Joined: 16 January 2010
Joined: 16 January 2010
EveryOne Who wants To be PMed Please add me to your buddy list and comment! =))Thank Youu.. Manjari
Joined: 16 January 2010
Joined: 22 June 2009
Joined: 16 January 2010
I was alone.. 34 and married.. But yet alone.. My life was over that very day.. I was just breathing since then.. that day.. May 21st 1999! That day my entire life changed.. and my soul it was destroyed.. rather it was finished.. this was only a body.. who ate and was breathing.. That dayEarly morning.. I woke up in his arms.. Samrat.. I smiled looking at his face. He looked so handsome so gorgeous. Till yesterday he was my best friend and today a new relationship..! this was soo not expected.. He just broke up with his girlfriend yesterday! And now he was with me.. I shut my eyes and remembered last night.. all the moments came back..
It was 11pm and I opened the door to see him standing there.. I was shocked. He was supposed to go to the disco with his friends.. I didnt go because I feel very uncomfortable in places like that. I looked at him confused.. "Samrat what are you doing here?" I asked.. He looked into my eyes and I felt something was wrong with him.. "Ok, come in first! Please!" I said holding his hand and pulling him in.. He came in with his blank face.. I took him to my room and gave him water.. "Samrat, Kya hua?" I asked, curious to know! He said nothing. Just hugged me tightly! I hugged him back, trying to comfort him! He was crying! I have never seen SAMRAT cry! Out of all people.. Nd obviously I was in love with him. It was almost a year and he never realised it.. My heart was thudding loudly seeing his condition! What was wrong.?! I was so confused!
Finally, an hour later he told me that Sheena (his girlfriend) was actually cheating on him! He said he loved her whole heartedly and that Bitch.. she was dating someone else.. Samrat saw her dancing with someone in RGs and they were soo close.. they even KISSED in public.. Samrat was heart broken and he made a scene out there.. I could see the pain in his eyes.. he was just so heart broken.. I couldnt see him like that.. i wiped his tears with my hand.. "Samrat Woh tumhare layak hi nahi thi.." "Gunjan.. Im sorry!" Samrat said sobbing. "No samrat its Ok.!" I know how he felt! He didnt need to apologize..! "No gunjan! Its Not! You have always been there for me and I didnt trust you when you told me about sheena!" He was breaking down! "No samrat! Its completely ok. Dont say that! You dont need to say sorry!" Samrat just hugged me again.. "Your very nice chashmish.." Now he was back to the baby samrat! And then when we were so close I realised that he was drunk! He wasnt in his senses.. No wonder he was crying so much..
And After that what happened was just like a dream.. Samrat kissed me, my cheeks, my hand, my eyes, and my lips.. His touch always sent a shiver down my spine and I was lost. It was just not real.. everything was so sudden.. It was as if he controlled me and I moved and sighed as his lips touched my body.. I was just still.. My heart thudded loudly and he hands carressed his hair and back.. He was very depressed and furious at sheena.. I could feel that by his grip! He held me so tightly in his arms.. He just kept saying "I love Youu.." And I enjoyed it! He was so warm and I could feel his breathe against my skin. My arms started to ache as his grip tightened.. I kept shifting as it became uncomfortable.. and after then we slept..It was so peaceful to be with him and he
And now he was sitting next to me... I got up form the bed.. Ouch! My arms were aching! For god knows what reason.. i went to the bathroom and then I realised.. My arms were bruised. Ouch! Samrat was very angry yesterday and drunk! So obviously he wasnt in his senses.. he always told me I should roam about with a 'Handle with care' label.. that always made me laugh... At the moment, my happiness had no boundaries.. the words still echoed in my ears.. 'I love You!'But what if he didnt—No.. that wont be the case i though! It cant happen! I went down and made breakfast for him.. I didnt realise I was humming a song! I never did that! Why did the air feel different today!! I just took his breakfast and disprin water and went up..
When I went upstairs I saw him awake... He was sitting on the bed with his head on his hands.. Ouch! Im sure it hurt! "Disprin!" I said giving him the glass.. He looked up at me.. "When did I come here?" he asked while taking the glass from my hands.. I was speechless.. My fear came true.. He didnt remember a thing! I was taken aback by his comment.. He had no idea what happened last night.. he tried to recall.. "You broke up with sheena last night.." was all i said.. I thought i would cry! But some how I couldnt! Something stopped me.. tears werent coming out.. "What? Oh.. yes! Gunjan, Im SOO sorry! I know i should have trusted you! Your my best friend—"I..ts.. ok.." My voice was shaky.. I went out of the room immediately.. I couldnt look at him.. I just couldnt.. WHAT THE HELL! What should I do now.. should I tell him.. or—he came out.. he came towards me.. shit.. his eyes looked confused and he stared at me.. and I looked down.. i would never be able to look into his eyes.. "gunjan last nite.. I.. I did that didnt I?" pointing towards my bruised hand.. I looked at them.. they were almost greenish black now.. "Umm.. its.. its.. ok.." I said. Well I doubt he heard that.. his eyes just widened.. "Shit! Damn IT! Crap! Holy Shit! Im sorry gunjan.. I .. I crossed my limits last night.. I know.." he said shaking his head.. Did he know what happened? Had he remembered everything? Could he recall.. "Sam..ra..t.. ...wha..t.." I couldnt speak.. din even know what to say..!! "gunjan! Im sorry! I know sorry is not what i should be saying.. but .. but.. I didnt want to hurt you! I cant lose a friend like you! Last night was a mistake.. I know— "Samrat Pleasee!!!" tears trickled down my cheeks.. Did he have to say that! That thing which he just called 'mistake' was my truth! I loved him for GODSAKE! And he just called all that a mistake.. DaMn It He SlEpT WiTh Me!!! What did he think of himself! 'MISTAKE!' I was sooo angryy.. but it came out as tears.. I couldnt tell him a word.. My heart was in small pieces.. It was all shattered.. "Chashmish.. please.. dont cry! I cant see those tears in your eyes.." I cried even harder after he said that.. JUST GO! I wanted to scream out loud.. He lifted his hands to wipe my tears.. "Dont Touch Me!!!" I screamed.. I dont know why.. I couldnt bear it.. I ran into my room and locked it!
How would I stay alive.. what would I do..! Why.. Why did you do this to me samrat! WHYY!!! He banged on the door pleading me to open it! I couldnt even get up from my bed.. "Chashmish Open the door... Chashmish Please.. Open the Door! We can talk gunjan! Dont do this.." I was numb.. i couldnt think.. my brain stopped functioning.. I couldnt hear what samrat said.. I couldnt take it! I had bared it for One year! He had a girl friend and he didnt love me.. but after yesterday.. how could I face him.. I was in my senses.. Why did I do that! The Man I loved thought it was all a mistake.. Then suddenly i felt someone touching my arm.. shaking it.. the shocking part was my arms didnt hurt anymore.. or rather I couldnt feel the pain at all.. I looked up slowly and saw that it was samrat! I could hear him once again.. "Chashmish.. I know We made a huge mistake! But it doesnt need to go out! We could just keep it to these four walls.. Im sorry! I was out of my senses... But you.. why didnt you say somethinG! Why didnt you stop me..?? WHY!" Wao.. Now blame it on me.. Well.. somewhere it was my fault! Why did i love samrat! Why did i fall for him! How could I even think he would like me..! "Bolo Chashmish.. Say Something God DamnIt!!!" he practically shook me.. "What ? what should I say? Mistake.. it was a mistake right! So? What should I say?" I was blank.. my voice was low.. what did he want me to say??!! "Thats all you have to say abt yesterday?" He asked.. kinda shocked be my response.. "What else samrat? Im sorry.. I should hv.." my voice broke and tears came out once more.. No Gunjan! Dont waste your tears.. dont cry! No one cares.. this world will not give a damn to your tears.. and Samrat.. He doesnt even know why your crying! "Dont.. dont cry! Please.. ill never be able to forgive myself." He said.. "Even me... Never.." "but why didnt you stop me..!" I stood up and walked away.. "Answer ME!" he shook me once again and this time pressed the bruise.. "Ouch!" I said under my breathe.. He left my hand.. "TELL ME!" "Samrat! Nothing.. please.. bunk it.." "No Gunjan I Cant!! You Have to tell me! Why are you crying! Did I say something last night..." The three words kept echgoing in my head again... 'I Love You!'.... "Yes.. you said.. you said.. that you love me.." "WHAT?!" he sat on the bed.. Why was I here! I felt like dying at the moment! "Samrat.. its ok.. I – I was about to tell him.. "NO Gunjan! I am a jerk. I know you will never ever talk to me again.. I have hurt youu.. I have insulted our friendship..I broke your trust! But again ... why didnt you stop me gunjan..." "BECAUSE I LOVE YOUU!!! I have always loved youu!!!" And I started crying again..I had no other option. I could see that my life was over! It was the end of me.. I knew samrats answer.. He didnt love me... he never loved me.. He just stared at me blankly and I looked away.. I just went away... I ran from the room into the bathroom.. and I shut the door.. What would samrat say now.. I knew he was shocked too.. And he had all the reason to be. He tried to talk to me hat time but the only thing i said was.. "Go Away! And let me LIVE!" I could hear his shaky voice saying sorry! I didnt want to hear a sorry! I didnt want to hear anything! "Just Go Away Samrat! It isnt YOUR Fault!!" I screamed on the top of my voice.. and he went away..
After that day I never talked to him! College was already over.. and I went to morena after that.. I never heard from him again either.. it was just over.. Our Friendship and our never existing love .. That one day changed our life.. I was married to neil who loved me alot.. but i still feel guilty as i had ruined his life too.. I was just a machine.. who did everything people wanted me to do... but i had no feelings.. I never cried.. it was as if all my tears were over after that period.. It was just a lifeless machine left back...
Hey Guys Please comment! this was just a random OS.
I hope it was an OS... I mean I hope it wasnt incomplete!
please tell me as its my first time!
Ill be waiting for comments!
Joined: 18 April 2010
Joined: 28 December 2006
Joined: 16 April 2010
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