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Laagi Tujhse Lagan
Laagi Tujhse Lagan

SS- Loving You!!

Fishfish IF-Dazzler
Fishfish
Fishfish

Joined: 10 October 2006
Posts: 3606

Posted: 23 December 2010 at 3:57am | IP Logged

Dear Friends,

 

I normally take a break of 7/8 days after I finish writing a FF which I call 'brain rest' while my friend Cherry (Khushboo) calls it 'brain dead' as I refuse to do anything but this time it was not to be, I am busy writing Christmas stories for 'All Is Well' or SS based on the scene I like in the LTL serial.  Today I thought I will take my brain rest and will not do anything but got up in the morning to read Lizdarcy's OS- Loving you, (http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1569872) my fingers started tickling and here is my version!!

 

My other FF and SS in this forum SS:  Faith : http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1568561

 

SS: The Thali : http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1566607

FF:  Ek Duje ke liye : http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1528386

 

Would love to read your comments….

 

Loving You (Tin's Version)

 

 

Seema sat in the car as she watched the landscape pass by, she watched them but did not register them, the car was one of the trendiest available in the market, leather upholstery, rightly air-conditioned, soft music playing in the music system, the interior sprayed with mild perfume but she was not happy, today was the day, 10 years back when she changed her life forever, yes 'she' changed it, not her destiny, she couldn't even blame her destiny, it was like you run towards the mirage and get sand only, she also ran for a better life, a life which will take her out of the slums in one stroke but what she has got?

 

Madam will walk the rest of way up, the uniformed driver turned around, Seema watched road leading up to the temple up atop the hill, it was not a big climb, Seema has been doing it for the last few years, her way of repentance for the life she left behind, for betraying someone, for running after a better life but getting into a darkness instead of light.. she opened her slippers, picking up her 'puaj thali', she stepped out ….

 

The sun was up, the road burnt her feet, the driver looked at her, she was tempted to sit back into the car when she saw a girl walking past her, Seema smiled at her driver, he  was now the only family she really had, I will make it, follow her, you park the car….

 

Ji, I will wait for you and come up the usual time…..

 

Theek hai, and if my mobile rings you know what to say…..

 

Yes I do, today you are busy….

 

Yes today I will not go anywhere….if somebody refuses to listen, tell him I have got very bad cold, throat chocked and cannot speak even….

 

Ji, I will….

 

Seema followed the girl…

 

++++++

 

Nakusha wanted a drink of water but then she had decided to take it only once she offers puja, taking a deep breath she walked more determinedly, life has not been easy, there was an attempt on Dutta's life and someone tried to tarnish her image, she was amazed to see Dutta's level of trust, she was not expecting it hence she is repenting, have come walking to Devi Ma asking for forgiveness for doubting her husband, even though very fleetingly, trust is something marriage is based on, without trust no marriage can be successful…

 

Hello a voice spoke from behind…

 

Naku turned to see a woman wearing very fine sari and heavy makeup…..

 

Hello, Naku wished back…..

 

Can I join you, it will make the climb easier…baato baato me chal lenge….

 

Naku hesitated she wanted to be left alone midst of her thoughts but then she had come all the way walking and this was the last stretch….

 

Chaliye, Ma ki ichha hai….

 

Seema gave a smile to the girl, looked a simpleton....

 

Aap idhar ki nehi ho…..Nakusha observed…..

 

Seema smiled, Ha mai Dadar me rehti hu….

 

What brings you to this temple, here only locals come normally…

 

Seema hesitated, the real reason is of course she had heard that he stays around this area and he and his family often come to the temple to offer their prayers though for last few years she has not seen them….

 

I have heard about this temple, Devi Ma is very kind they say……

 

Yes she is…Ayi was telling me if you ever feel that you have made a mistake, come here and ask for forgiveness, Mother forgives promptly….

 

Is it so?  You have come forgiveness…..Seema asked, the girl had a very innocent look

 

Yes, I made a mistake so will ask Mataji to forgive me and of course I have also come for him….Nakusha picked up and showed her mangalsutra….

 

Seema smiled, lucky man, she said….

 

Waise aapko idhar pehle kabhi nehi dekha, not the past 8 months I have been staying here….

 

Nehi I come only once a year, that is on this day…

 

Today is your birthday?  Nakusha asked as she did not see any marriage sign on her….

 

Seema stopped, taking a deep breath she replied, you can say that….a sort of birthday…..

 

Nakusha frowned, she never heard such a thing called 'sort of birthday' but the lady was looking away, seemed to be lost in her thoughts….

 

He was man who loved with a lot of passion, a simple man who did not have big dreams, happy with small things in life but then he had one flaw, his anger, which was terrible, when he erupted he refused to see or hear any logic. 

 

Seema always had dreamt big, she even coaxed him from time to time, he always replied, Seema there are so many things to do in life, why run after money but I promise I will give you a comfortable life, may not be luxurious one but better than many people in our country…..the reply disheartened Seema, she always dreamt staying in a big apartment in a luxurious complex…..

 

Neeche dekh Seema, upar nehi, there is no limit there, the sky is very high but if you see down you will see how much better you are….soon I will open my own car repairing garage, tujhe kaam nehi karna parega….Seema did not have the patience, she wanted a quick way up and Roopa the girl who stayed two rooms away from her in the chawl has been giving her inputs from sometimes, areh chawl ka hi ladka hai, don't hear him, they just don't know how to dream big, from this chawl (slum) you will land up to so called one room apartment, a slightly better form of chawl, but chawl nonetheless….

 

Soon Seema found out it was a very easy way of earning money, Roopa had the right contacts, all you need is a bit of smartness, just know what your client wants, rest money will not be a problem it flows but follow rule no.1, never give yourself cheaply…Roopa taught her, when we have people with fat pockets why should you…..

 

Soon her lifestyle started changing, he frowned on her expensive clothes, paisa kaha se mila….

 

Actually it was on sale, and since I wanted to buy it, 'malik' gave it away very cheaply…Seema informed brightly, she worked for a women's wear boutique….

 

What is wrong with your 'malik' never heard him to be so giving….you always called him names…

 

Seema laughed, made some good profit on that day….she commented only to see he was frowning hard, giving her a queer look…..

 

Kya huwa?  She asked….

 

Nehi, you are looking different, what have you done to your eyes…..matlab….

 

Oh Roopa wanted to buy a new eye shadow, she was trying it on me….

 

Tu Roopa ke saath dukan gayi thi?  I told you how many times I do not like that woman, do you know what she is actually…he started shouting

 

Seema realized her slip…actually I did not go with her, I was buying something from this shop for malik, some buttons actually which he needed to send to the tailoring shop, Roopa walked in….I could not refuse her….

 

He gave a very disgusted look, dekh in this place it is very easy to get tempted, just be alert and bear for a couple of more years, within that time I will buy an apartment, get married and shift out from here…

 

Two years seemed to be a long way to go, Roopa told her, enjoy and just don't get caught…

 

Well her luck ran out faster than she expected, he caught her red handed, on this day 10 years ago, it changed her life for ever and his too as she hears…..

 

+++++

 

The Pandit welcomed them with a big smile, Ayi Sahib had called me on the mobile to say to expect you….he extended his hands to take the Puja thali from Nakusha….

 

Panditji, yeh bhi mere saath ayi hai…..Naku gestured towards her…..

 

Oh Aap…oh yes I remember you, aap toh iss samay ati hai, saal me ek bar….

 

Ji aaj woh din hai…..Seema replied….

 

Panditji called his assistant to take the offerings from Seema,  asking her if she would like to offer prayers today….

 

Nehi panditji, aap puja kijiye, like every time I will like to sit in front of Matarani for sometime….

 

Panditji, smiled, yes she came every year, sat in one corner looking at the deity for couple of hours before returning back, he did not know her name or from she came, he guessed she did not belong from near about localities…..

 

+++++

 

Seema went and sat in her usual place, from here the idol could be seen and she also got the quiet and peace she wanted….

 

Bahut din ho gaye Bhau nehi aye, the Pandit commented while leading Nakusha for the prayers…..

 

Ji, aap toh jantehi hai, he does not come unless he is forced…..

 

Haa only to please his ayi…the Pandit commented….

 

Seema thought how similar, he also did not go to temple or prayed unless his mother forced him to ….

 

+++++

 

Dutta sat on the bonnet and looked sea as he sipped the drink straight from the bottle, things were not right at home, he was upset with Baji and Nakusha, while Nakusha was trying her best to come close to him, Baji not being his wife could not also make the efforts she was making, he was not prepared to hear him at the moment and on top of that he got a call early in the morning to finalise the deal which was pending for sometime, midway through the deal he realized it was the day he turned into a don, normally other years Baji and him usually got drunk, a sort of celebration or penance whatever way you look at it, instead of him sitting alone with a bottle in hand watching the sea…Baji's absence became more pronounced, Dutta threw the bottle at the sea angrily…getting into the car, as he started he remembered his mother asking him to drop Nakusha to the temple to which he had said he was in a hurry to keep his appointment and Nakusha had replied she wanted to go walking….people go walking to the Devi when they want to ask for forgiveness, how many times will she walk to the temple to ask for forgiveness for the one mistake she has committed, the mistake of hiding her true identity…why does she always make him feel guilty with her act of kindness, itna dhup mai paidal chalne ki kya hai, that too to a temple which was not very close to the house….

 

++++++

 

Seema watched as Panditji conducted the puja for the lady, she must be very known to him, he seemed to know her whole family, must belong around here, thought Seema…can I ask her about him, she must be knowing something, after all if she belongs from this area…..the very thought made Seema sit up….she had said she came here 8 months ago, 8 months is enough to know about him, he is supposed to be the most powerful man around this area…lekin jaanke keya hoga….Seema thought to herself, she has come a long way, and he will not ever forgive her for what she has done to herself….these things those people do who are either forced or is incapable of making a better living for themselves, tune paisa ki lalach me kiya, we have just started our life, I told you to wait for sometime and we will have everything but then you want everything just now, she could still hear him….

 

Seema saw the Panditji completing the puja, the girl standing up to take back her plate from him….when the Panditji's voice carried towards Seema, Vehini today you have come at a very good time, we just had finished offering this 'sindoor' to matarani, I have put some of it on your plate, Bhau se thora apne mathe pe bhi lagwa lijiyega….aap dono ke liye achha hoga…..

 

She came towards Seema with a big smile, aap rukengi aur? she asked…

 

Well yes, for some more time definitely….

 

Lijiye matarani ka prasad lijiye….

 

Why don't you sit also, if you are not in a hurry, bahut shanti hai idhar....Seema said.....

 

Nakusha hesitated when Panditji called out….areh vehini see who has come….

 

Nakusha turned and froze….it was him, HIM, she simply could not believe her eyes to see him standing at the other side of the courtyard of the temple and watching her….with a soft cry she ran towards him….as she moved away from Seema's line of vision, she too got to see him speaking to the Pandit now, ….her lips shook, throat became dry, Dutta she cried softly ….

 

Nakusha went upto him, Sahab she said on reaching him….

 

He looked at her sternly, bahut chalna ho giya, abh gari me baith aur ghar chal….

 

Vehini aajka puja bahut achha huwa aapka aur Bhau se …

 

Ji mai lagwa lungi…Nakusha told the Pandit, doing his namaste the Pandit left…..

 

Seema sat biting her lips, her whole body shook, it is not unexpected that he is married and has a family of his own, it is not unexpected that he has forgotten her and married a sweet girl, it is not unexpected that he loves somebody else now but then she still was feeling bad and even after all these years she simply cannot forget him, cannot stop loving him….

 

Madam, Seema heard her driver's voice behind her, Madam I am sorry to disturb you, Sethji has already called thrice, he is not prepared to hear any excuses, he will be entertaining some guests and needs your presence, jaisa bhi ho, you should be there, his client has specially asked for you and this is going to be a very big deal for Sethji….aaj muh mangi rakam denge aapko….

 

His words hardly registered Seema's mind as she watched Dutta putting sindoor on his wife…and then leaving together …..

 

Madam, the driver called again….

 

Kaka hold my hand and take me to the car please, I am not feeling too well truly now….the driver looked puzzled and then followed her eyes, a man and wife walking away, infact it was the lady with whom she climbed up a little while ago…..

 

Aap unhe jaanti hai….he asked….

 

Mujhe koi nehi janta hai Kaka, you know in the light of the day nobody knows me…..but that man will not like to know me in the darkness of night too, he is one of those rare kinds….gripping her driver's hand, Seema limped towards her car…..the end…

+++++

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msrk Senior Member
msrk
msrk

Joined: 01 August 2005
Posts: 959

Posted: 23 December 2010 at 4:18am | IP Logged

Lovely story...something like this would have happened in real life...but since CV have to stretch a serial it won't be like this...

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Fishfish

KavitaDR Senior Member
KavitaDR
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Joined: 18 September 2010
Posts: 673

Posted: 23 December 2010 at 4:26am | IP Logged
@tintiny
 
Hey Jayanti,
 
Loved your SS. I made a cardinal sin today by getting on the forum as soon as I landed in the office. I guess I could allow myself this little distraction on a 23rd December,
 
Anyways, I loved the essence of pathos your SS conveyed. I just hope that the CVs do not go too much the down the lane of cliches with Seema's comeback. As it is, it is not a track with which I am, particularly, comfortable at a time when Dutta's willingness to accept the olive branch from Nakusha is almost nil. Smile
 

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Fishfish

prettywoman Goldie
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Posts: 2477

Posted: 23 December 2010 at 4:28am | IP Logged

 

Hi Tin

 

I have been feeling s bit down for past 2 days and FF's and OS's that you guys post really do make a difference. I loved your take on this scene, esp as I am very upset that D left Nakku to walk on her own to the temple. And also does not go to pick her up as we saw Baaji there and I am sure AS has only sent Baaji to pick up Nakku. I know how hurt D is and was hoping to see him thaw a bit, but week after week, we see him taking a step towards her, but then he seems to go back into his shell. It is really sad to watch him face full of sadness and nakku';s full of hope, only to be dashed by his words most of the time.

 

So to read D followed her to the temple is a great big deal for me and I so wish this happens in the show too. like Liz, Shilpi, ksh and so many others are saying, I really want Dutta to now make serious efforts to woo her and make her feel special. You have described Seema's state really well, and her repenting big time.

 

And pls continue posting as it really helps to bring some light into tasha's love!

 

Vandu

 

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Fishfish

lizdarcy Senior Member
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Joined: 10 August 2010
Posts: 761

Posted: 23 December 2010 at 5:16am | IP Logged
Hey Tintiny,
 
Loved your take. Dutta coming to take Naku home. *swoon*
 
I liked Seema being repentant and all, except that I don't want the CVs to glorify Seema. She is a repentant sinner, but it is Dutta's repentance I really want to see. That and him wooing Naku back. Bas mandir jaane se nahi hoga, I want it to be as longdrawn as his tantrum phase was. Sadu! It's time he started courting her properly! I want it to be even more sensual than the first time. Gadha gussa hota hai to he manhandles her, then why the hell is he so shy to romance her with the same passion. Am waiting for that shart wala scene to be continued. Dutta, time you stopped being haughty and got *ahem* naughty!
 
I'm shameless, aren't I?! ROFL


Edited by lizdarcy - 23 December 2010 at 5:17am

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ushankitvc IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 23 December 2010 at 5:28am | IP Logged
such an emotional one.............Seema is repenting........but Dutta is only Nakkus.............It was so emotional to see Dutta putting sindoor on Nakkus Maang.........wow!!!!!!!!!! a really superb SS.............but we will not see any of these in the epi..............

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Fishfish-bharti-

shally_m Goldie
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Joined: 28 February 2006
Posts: 1775

Posted: 23 December 2010 at 5:32am | IP Logged

seems interesting .... please update soon

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Fishfish

Yuvika_15 Viewbie
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Posts: 29420

Posted: 23 December 2010 at 6:11am | IP Logged
very nice update
u described it all so well i could imagine it all in my mind
roopa=i tke it thts naku's sis...or is she sum1 else?
aww dutta put sindoor in her maang hw sweet

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