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Gunahon Ka Devta
Gunahon Ka Devta

The death of self

Dreamygal301 IF-Sizzlerz
Dreamygal301
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Joined: 07 April 2010
Posts: 10585

Posted: 22 December 2010 at 10:20pm | IP Logged

Fear is the mother of morality: Nietzsche

Everyone looked on in concern as Avdesh led Arpita gently towards the front door of the haveli, something was wrong though they did not know what. Bhauji, eaten up with being kept in the dark rounded furiously on the gang to let her know what was going on. Even Ammaji failed to get through to Arpita. Her face blank, her vision on what only she could see  she remained locked within the grips of a nightmare that never seem to end. Avdesh clasped one of her hand tightly offering comfort, warmth and love.

To love someone is nothing, to be loved by someone is something,
but to be loved by the one you love is everything:
Unknown.

Once in their room, Avdesh leads Arpita to the bed and gently settles her down. Arpita finally let out her fear that she should be in jail for killing RV that she belongs in jail. Avdesh's face reflects pain at her words; he tenderly makes her drink a glass of cool refreshing water, wiping her lips with his thumb - a caressing and loving gesture. He makes her lie down but the moment she does, the memories crowd in. Unable to see his wife in so much pain, Avdesh settles down next to her and draws her close to him, his face worried...I'm here with you, always will be...He soothes her, his hands wiping the tears away then gently stroking her beloved face..Arpita trembles more and then hugs him tightly, her only lifeline in this black moment even as more and more vision dance across her eyes....everytime I close my eyes, I see him...she whispered, shaking more and more...don't you worry, I am here..Avdesh hugs her and offers her his lap to sleep in..He whispers words of love and comfort, stroking her hair while his other hand gently covers her hands...slowly Arpita drifts off to sleep secure in the love and warmth that surrounds her.

After making sure Arpita is sleeping deeply Avdesh at Bhauji's urging goes to have his wound taken care of. He also tells everyone the immense sacrifice made by Arpita for his life. His face sombre and heartbreaking, he tells of his wife courage and love for him. Bhauji though shocked was furious, her scheming mind already finding a way to keep Avdesh near her while getting rid of Arpita...just letting the police know who was responsible for shooting RV.

In another part of town, the Rai household was in an uproar due to a hurricane by the name of Simple. She is like an unstoppable force and her current task is to teach the Rai boys to take care of their Mama. After an exhausting shopping expedition, Simple comes to her Sasural very unhappy and does not hesitate to let her MIL know why. Her husband-to-be wasn't carrying enough money for this to be an enjoyable shopping trip!...Mama Rai the ever diplomat, offered tea at which point Simple turns a gimlet eye on her devar and orders him to make tea for his mother and Bhabi. She does not let her husband-to-be off as well. Both men stomp off, face as black as thunder. Life as they know it is coming to a rapid end, thanks to hurricane Simple.

Back at the TH (Thakur Haveli) Avedesh looking so much chirper and lighter, enters their bedroom carrying juice for Arpita. Seeing the empty room he starts searching for her, calling her name....On the terrace, Arpita teeters on the ledge her mind on the scene that is constantly replaying on a loop...her shooting RV, him toppling like a tree, his lifeblood flowing like water over and over again till she has no choice but to seek oblivion in the hopes of finding some peace....Avdesh still searching for Arpita comes out and see's her on the ledge. Shock and horror twists his face as he yells at her to stop!

My thoughts:

Things are getting tough for Arpita, her cycle of guilt, grief and horror going on and on until she has no choice but to end it anyway she can. I know Avdesh will save her, but the enormity of what she is going through, will finally sink in him. Though he is loving and caring, all that she could have hoped for, he actually does not understand the enormous burden she is buckling under. At her words, about jail, he told her not to worry only the two of them know...he completely missed the point, that her moral compass won't let her live knowing she has killed someone. He knows she is sacred but he doesn't know of the scar in her soul yet....He will soon and then we will see the full force of his love for her. Already, she had made tremendous strides in his life, influencing him even more than they both could have thought so but still more needs to be done.

Today we saw the fruits of Arpita's labour of love; he took care of her without any hesitation or shyness whether alone or in front of people, he firmly stuck to his need to take care of her in the face of his Bhauji's orders even though that woman commands him like no other....There was no doubts at all for anyone as to who came first for him at that moment. However, it will take Arpita a while to get over what she had done, I think knowing that RV lives will lighten her burden tremendously. I think they will soon know, if not then Avdesh needs to be proactive, he needs to take her away so that it is only the two of them, talk over things and generally be there with his love so she finds her way back to him.  Love is healing, the balm for the scar on her soul. She has done nothing wrong except to protect what was hers. History is recorded with such actions. What history fails to tell though is the price it extracts from the person concerned. We, however, will get to see the price Arpita pays. Or will it be Avdesh? For their love is strong, now even more stronger because Arpita has shown him that self sacrifice is part and parcel of love. He too will emulate that when the time is right. Just as she was his lifeline, he is hers now. Day by day the ties of love and bond is deepening between them till one is incomplete without the other.

Then we see the other side of love, the one that makes demand whether justified or not. The one that believes love and respect is due one automatically. Simpleji, off course. We will have to see if her attitude works but I can't help fearing that behind her brash act there is innocence in failing to see these Rai men as they truly are. I would hate it if she finds out like Mama Rai. Will she stand her ground or will she be cowed?

Love gives strength and power but it also withers when not tended properly. Simple is yearning for love, demanding respect as well. Will she continue to do so when faced with indifference months after months?...will she blossom and find her own place regardless of love or will she wither like a rose when faced with a lifetime of drought?....It is all in the personality and how each person face life. These two women, Arpita and Simple, have attitude to life as different as day and night. But one thing they have in common is a steely inner core. It now remains to be seen which way they go based on their decisions and attitudes to what life throws at them.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the episode.

 

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Edited by Dreamygal301 - 22 December 2010 at 10:22pm

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chatterbox IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 22 December 2010 at 10:27pm | IP Logged
wow u woke up early to write this


amazing and the word is right

arpi soul is affected now by her deed of shooting rv and it wud only lessen with love from avdesh and knowledge that rv is alive.

these two really need to get away asap and time wud come soon. 

so good and perfect contrast u gave of haveli and rai mansion

i wud like to get back to this later

for now kitchen calling hehe

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Posted: 22 December 2010 at 10:37pm | IP Logged
Hi Ferdous..I will start asusual. with extremely well written...
You caughthe point When you said Avdesh saying no one else but the 2 of us know about the murder & the inspector is dead so nothing to worry..Though he is consoling her he is completely missing the point..He is not able to understand that Arpita's conscience is killing her..Another noticeable thing was there was no awkwardness when Avi was his wife ,all his feelings was there for all to see..Today when he saves her from the terrace I'm sure everyone will get see another emotional outpouring from Avi...

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Posted: 22 December 2010 at 10:38pm | IP Logged
Hey Dreamy
How are you?
I was hoping to read your post before going to bed and hear you areHug
 
My comment from update thread,
By the way, did you see the difference between Avi -Arpi's way of thinking,  their  conscience make them see things differently.
Here Arpi lost her senses just thinking of what has happened, how could she kill somebody?
 And avi was telling arpi not to worry as no one knows what happened and RV must be dead so no one will ever know.
 Killing people is may be normal for Avi but hope he understands wha arpi is going through.
You can lie/ hide things from others but how can you lie to your self?
 
I think Avi will get the goodnews about RV being alive..soon and he will be happy as it will lessen Arpi's guilt to some extent. Wonder what Bhootni will do then?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Dreamygal301 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 22 December 2010 at 10:45pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by chatterbox

wow u woke up early to write this


amazing and the word is right

arpi soul is affected now by her deed of shooting rv and it wud only lessen with love from avdesh and knowledge that rv is alive.

these two really need to get away asap and time wud come soon. 

so good and perfect contrast u gave of haveli and rai mansion

i wud like to get back to this later

for now kitchen calling hehe
 
Hi Di,
 
No I was up early today, say around 2am!Big smile....a lot on my mind...but good thing is I went to bed early so feel fine!LOLLOL
 
there is a lot of contrast going on the show, mostly between Arpita and Simple now...really interested in seeing how this goes now...
 
Will wait for your response, love reading them.

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Dreamygal301 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 22 December 2010 at 10:50pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by laxmi73

Hi Ferdous..I will start asusual. with extremely well written...
You caughthe point When you said Avdesh saying no one else but the 2 of us know about the murder & the inspector is dead so nothing to worry..Though he is consoling her he is completely missing the point..He is not able to understand that Arpita's conscience is killing her..Another noticeable thing was there was no awkwardness when Avi was his wife ,all his feelings was there for all to see..Today when he saves her from the terrace I'm sure everyone will get see another emotional outpouring from Avi...
 
Hi LaxmiSmile
 
Thank you and yes Avdesh missed the subtle nuances of why she is so shell shocked but let's forgive him - for now.Wink ...his life is full of bloodshed and I think he forgot how it feels the first time to shot someone or that it is so much complex for her...
 
The thing is Arpi shooting RV wasn't anything unexpected, we had this foreshadowing going on for a while now...(we would have to be blind to see it especially the promo!LOL)...her every word of love indicating she will protect him regardless of anything. And now we will get to see of Avi reciprocates.
 
I am so happy he was upto caring for her, that was brillant. I was ahlf afraid that he would give her care over to someone else...and did u see the way he walked in carrying the juice?..ClapClap...I demand all husbands should be so carrying when their wives are ill!!

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Dreamygal301 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 22 December 2010 at 10:53pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by MonyP

Hey Dreamy
How are you?
I was hoping to read your post before going to bed and hear you areHug
 
My comment from update thread,
By the way, did you see the difference between Avi -Arpi's way of thinking,  their  conscience make them see things differently.
Here Arpi lost her senses just thinking of what has happened, how could she kill somebody?
 And avi was telling arpi not to worry as no one knows what happened and RV must be dead so no one will ever know.
 Killing people is may be normal for Avi but hope he understands wha arpi is going through.
You can lie/ hide things from others but how can you lie to your self?
 
I think Avi will get the goodnews about RV being alive..soon and he will be happy as it will lessen Arpi's guilt to some extent. Wonder what Bhootni will do then?
 
 
MonyHug
 
Exactly, there is a difference there but it is early days so hopefully Avdeshw ill realise soon (especially after her suicide bid) that there is more going on here...at the moment he is thinking she is sacred and worried about the shooting....not at all. It is just eating her alive that she has taken a life!...how different does that make her after all her words to him?.....he will soon understand when he see's her real agony.....she is unable to even voice it so he needs to really look deep within her, to her soul really.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Posted: 22 December 2010 at 11:01pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Dreamygal301

Originally posted by MonyP

Hey Dreamy
How are you?
I was hoping to read your post before going to bed and hear you areHug
 
My comment from update thread,
By the way, did you see the difference between Avi -Arpi's way of thinking,  their  conscience make them see things differently.
Here Arpi lost her senses just thinking of what has happened, how could she kill somebody?
 And avi was telling arpi not to worry as no one knows what happened and RV must be dead so no one will ever know.
 Killing people is may be normal for Avi but hope he understands wha arpi is going through.
You can lie/ hide things from others but how can you lie to your self?
 
I think Avi will get the goodnews about RV being alive..soon and he will be happy as it will lessen Arpi's guilt to some extent. Wonder what Bhootni will do then?
 
 
MonyHug
 
Exactly, there is a difference there but it is early days so hopefully Avdeshw ill realise soon (especially after her suicide bid) that there is more going on here...at the moment he is thinking she is sacred and worried about the shooting....not at all. It is just eating her alive that she has taken a life!...how different does that make her after all her words to him?.....he will soon understand when he see's her real agony.....she is unable to even voice it so he needs to really look deep within her, to her soul really.
  
 
 
Agree Dreamy
He needs to spend time with Arpi to understand her which is not happening. Bhootni didn't let him stay with arpi inspite of Arpi's poor condition. After the suicide bid, avi better stay with Arpi until she gets better.   Bhootni gayi tel lene.
 
@Bold- he will for sure. At the moment he is thinking as a gangstar, not as a normal human being. It took him 14 years to become a gangstar, so he needs sometime to become a normal human.
 
To love someone is nothing, to be loved by someone is something,
but to be loved by the one you love is everything:
Unknown
.
 
What a beautiful quoteClapClap
 


Edited by MonyP - 22 December 2010 at 11:05pm

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