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Dosa's 1st FF.... Khabi na khabi - SEE P 24 (Page 18)

coolfattin Senior Member
coolfattin
coolfattin

Joined: 19 April 2008
Posts: 400

Posted: 26 December 2010 at 12:02am | IP Logged
I ove ur posts n u mor!!!
just lov de way u describe every detail..!!
waitin 4 mor!!

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carisma2

serialmaniac IF-Dazzler
serialmaniac
serialmaniac

Joined: 17 April 2010
Posts: 2663

Posted: 26 December 2010 at 5:58am | IP Logged
Originally posted by aleena1

Awesome update...ClapClapClapClapClapStarStarStarStar

 
loved how you described every detail.........Smile
 
 
ooooh can we have a supernatural story??????????? plZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZBig smileBig smileBig smile
 
My attempts at writing horror stories went down the drainLOLLOLLOL im really bad at it.LOL...... plzzz do continueBig smileBig smile
 
 
eagerly waiting for next update........... keep it upThumbs Up
 
View Image
 
 @aleena: no it was really good.........plz continue yr FF...i loved itSmile
@carisma: supernatural!!!LOLLOLLOLLOL............more exciting....can v hv krishna as vampire or draculaSmile

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carisma2

carisma2 IF-Stunnerz
carisma2
carisma2

Joined: 25 January 2007
Posts: 29803

Posted: 26 December 2010 at 6:19am | IP Logged
Originally posted by telstra

wow yaar great ClapClap u r a Star purposefully i left it to read on weekend bacause i knew i would b missing pratigya a lot oh so both of them r going to civil linesWink hmm waiting for the next update i hope something good happens thereBig smile keep writing yaar
Thanks telesta. glad u guys are enjoying it and supporting me. I miss MKAP so muchCry
carisma2 IF-Stunnerz
carisma2
carisma2

Joined: 25 January 2007
Posts: 29803

Posted: 26 December 2010 at 6:20am | IP Logged
Originally posted by coolfattin

I ove ur posts n u mor!!!
just lov de way u describe every detail..!!
waitin 4 mor!!
Thanks sweetie, Love u tooooo.

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

coolfattin

carisma2 IF-Stunnerz
carisma2
carisma2

Joined: 25 January 2007
Posts: 29803

Posted: 26 December 2010 at 6:21am | IP Logged
Originally posted by serialmaniac

Originally posted by aleena1

Awesome update...ClapClapClapClapClapStarStarStarStar

 
loved how you described every detail.........Smile
 
 
ooooh can we have a supernatural story??????????? plZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZBig smileBig smileBig smile
 
My attempts at writing horror stories went down the drainLOLLOLLOL im really bad at it.LOL...... plzzz do continueBig smileBig smile
 
 
eagerly waiting for next update........... keep it upThumbs Up
 
View Image
 
 @aleena: no it was really good.........plz continue yr FF...i loved itSmile
@carisma: supernatural!!!LOLLOLLOLLOL............more exciting....can v hv krishna as vampire or draculaSmile
Thanks yaar, I'll see what I can do to try and keep a balance between the 2 concepts.
carisma2 IF-Stunnerz
carisma2
carisma2

Joined: 25 January 2007
Posts: 29803

Posted: 28 December 2010 at 9:28am | IP Logged
5th installment
 

Krishna received a call from his friends to rearrange their meeting venue up at the Adda instead

The Adda, This was a perfect sanctuary for three loafing bachelors a place to retreat after a long day spent in leisure. Krishna descended off his two - wheeler and joined his ardent companions. The threesome were considered as three bodies with one soul. "Bhaiya agaye.. Tunna chai wai le aah" Chandu bellowed excited. "Eeh kono tame hai chai ka?  saley susarey humka eeyan kahey bulaiya?" questioned a disappointed Krishna. "What it is Krishna Bhaiya.. Chandu and I woke up late today" said Tunna smiling, carrying out the tea. Krishna stood up lifting a twig of the ground and throwing it out as though he was playing with an invisible canine pet then ambled to the water barrel to  wash his hands..  He swallowed his tea down quickly regardless of it's temperature Kicking his right leg out occasionally. "Kaa Bhaiya aaj bohot baichain ho Bhaiya" enquired Tunna followed by a sly smile

Krishna threw an empty box at him "We were supposed to have been at civil lines by now and .. tumo do susarey-" an angry Krishna exclaimed. Tunna and Chandu quickly reached over to their parked Motorcycle to avoid Krishna's further confrontation. Krishna climbed onto his Motor and started the engine but the motorbike wouldn't start. Krishna climbing off again kicked the vehicle "Damn you!" and kicked it again. "Kaa Bhaiya - Thoda pyaar se. You love that bike" called out Chandu.

Krishna turning replied "Sawaari aur aurat aikh jaise hain - jubo seedha seedha na daurey tho maar ka isthamal kana chahey.. Kaa samjey!" and with that the engine started a rev.

Pratigya and Rolly settled themselves into a coffee shop to take some rest. Rolly went to give an order. Pratigya looked out of the window where some of the customers sat in their groups laughing and giggling. It was very hot and Pratigya desperately wanted to be in the shade although it was overcrowded and she felt like a helpless sardine confined in a tight spaced airtight tin. Her mind wondered again, the feeling of closeness and being held overwhelmed her but this time she saw herself not confined in the coffee shop but in his arms being embraced by strong set of muscles. The smell of leather filling her nostrils and strong hands stroking her back. She was in the strangers grasp physically and mentally. She heard a sound a rattling sound, where the end of two porcelain cups met the hardness of wood. She snapped out of the daydream. She looked down and saw two cups of steaming hot liquid. Rolly had turned away again and was going back to the counter after having distracted Pratigya from her thoughts unintentionally.

"Pratigya, are you okay, you seem like you are lost? Is there anything worrying you?" Rolly looked at Pratigya concerned. "Rolly this may seem weird to you but, that boy from yesterday has been playing on my mind" revealed Pratigya sipping the warm liquid. "I hate to break this to you but what are your chances of seeing him again. I cannot even remember his face, He may even be married". Her eyes not lifting from Pratigya's face checking to make sure she hasn't offended her friend with her last statement. "Interesting.. then I need to find out, I need to know who he is- I don't know why". Rolly decided not to put her thoughts into comment as this would be something Pratigya may not want to hear.

The boys stopped the motorbike and beckoned to Krishna to do likewise. "Hum kaa soch rahey they, ke kuch kaaley Bhaiya-", Tunna gave a hopeless look. Krishna darted a look over at them and surrendered to their request.  The sun was scorching hot as the boys settled into their usual bench outside the coffee shop. The waiter recognised the threesome and gestured a look to say he'll get their order.

"Tumka bhi abhi bookh lagai thi, abo abo aye hai aur-" As Krishna turned his head his eyes froze on a familiar sillhouette, the same he had had the pleasure of seeing yesterday. He contemplated for a further few seconds for conformation. It was definitely the same stranger. Even from the otherside of the glass window he could feel her Alluring presence and the resistant to turn away was stong but the need to remain still in awe was stronger.

Chandu scanned Krishna "Kaa hua bhaiya barey khoye khoye dikh rahey ho aap?" Krishna was stupefied. His look told Chandu, that it may not be a good time to ask any more questions. The snacks arrived and Chandu and Tunna took a morsel of pleasure from their plates, whilst Krishna sat content eyeing the morsel of his desire on the other side of the window.

Pratigya looked up and caught his gaze, She was unknown to the fact that her fantasy was no delusion. The figure delieanated before her was no imagination. He too was mesmerised by her very presence. Rolly caused another diversion of Pratigya's attention by talking. But Rolly's rambling only fell on Pratigya's deaf ears. She glanced back outside and noticed he was there in reality. Embarrased for staring she tried to look down and mouthed to Rolly "He's there.. Outside", Looking out again transfixed. Rolly turned her head to follow Pratigya's gaze. Pratigya no longer wanted to be couped up inside the cafe, she felt more hot now being inside the shade then she would be if she was outside directly under the sun. But she vaguely knew this heat was forthcoming from within her. Butterflies spun round and round in her stomach, enough to make her feel light and almost like they were going to cause her to be lifted off the ground. She couldn't comprehend this exciting emotion. She raised herself, so that she was standing. Krishna jolted back into reality. He had been caught staring at her. He turned away now, what else could he do? He didn't know either. His heart beat was thudding under his strong chest, but at this precise time his strong chest felt it had turned into a hollow paper Mache.

Inside Pratiya could not anticipate Rolly's conformation of joining her but again as though hypnotised in a trance started towards the exit door. Understanding Pratigya's invoiced words Rolly followed knowing what do.

That's all for today folks enjoy.


Edited by carisma2 - 29 December 2010 at 3:43pm

The following 17 member(s) liked the above post:

coolfattinshahbara-radhi-sweet_bhankielle45Shashi2011serialmaniacabcd2Filza.mushiroxxAziyashruthiRaleena1suk4piyarapiyaribabithajPristineSoul

elle45 Goldie
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elle45

Joined: 07 July 2010
Posts: 2249

Posted: 28 December 2010 at 10:07am | IP Logged
Lub the new chapter carisma! Very well written indeed. Clap Looking forward to more. Big smile

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carisma2

serialmaniac IF-Dazzler
serialmaniac
serialmaniac

Joined: 17 April 2010
Posts: 2663

Posted: 28 December 2010 at 10:41am | IP Logged
Wowie.........Thumbs Up

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carisma2

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