Pratigya

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Pratigya
Pratigya

Dosa's 1st FF.... Khabi na khabi - SEE P 24

carisma2 IF-Stunnerz
carisma2
carisma2

Joined: 25 January 2007
Posts: 29803

Posted: 22 December 2010 at 5:48pm | IP Logged
 
 
 
This is my first fan fiction, One day I hope to write my own book. I decided to do a FF here seeing that this is really enjoyed. Please give me your feedback, If I can't be a novalist then I'll concentrate on children's books instead. LOL But seriously you know me, everything I do always has a twist etc, so do not be surprised here. Please be honest if you like it say you did and if you don't then please say so.
I do not have a name for it as yet - but it can be called FF Emotional Athyachar maybe.
 
So here it goes.
 

It was a nice bright day, the atmosphere felt magical. Even after getting four hours sleep Pratigya felt fresh and ready for a new day. The alarm went on and was switched back off of instantly. Ninaji called for Pratigya at the door and Arushi stirred in the parallel single bed. The door was ajar and Nainaji walked in.

"Mummy, Why don't you ever knock?" Said pratigya climbing out of bed and getting into her slippers.

"Yeh kaisi baat karahi hi Pratigya beti?" Enquired Nainaji waking Arushi at the same time.

Arushi yawned and smiled at her mum. Arushi was Pratigya's young sister, who suffered mental health problems.  Inspite of being eighteen years old she had the mind of a eight year old. Nainaji had suffered depression since Arushi's birth and found it hard to accept Arushi's condition at first but eventually learnt to live with it.

Pratigya cleaned up and after breakfast got hold of her assignment, which had kept her awake till early hours of the morning and set off for university. This was her final semester before graduating. Pratigya's father was a professor at the same college, so Pratigya decided to take a ride on his motorbike to Rolly's house on the way to university. "Bye Papa" She waved.

Rolly was Pratigya's best friend since childhood and also Adharsh's fiance, who was Pratigya's elder brother. Rolly was at the door waiting "kyaa yaar itna waqt laga diya?" asked Rolly. Praigya tugged at her arm and wrapped the other hand under Rolly's "Papa drives too slow, He doesn't want to be arrested for speeding". Rolly replied "In that case he may get arrested for driving under speed limit instead". And they both laughted. They had not much alternative then  to call a rickshaw instead down the Allahabaad streets .

Finally climbing into one Pratigya gave her hand to Rolly to climb in, still a bit reluctant of spending money on a rickshaw. The cool breeze was touching Pratigya's face and she loved it. There was a good amount of traffic jam ahead and the Rickshaw driver decided to ride near the footpath instead to try and beat the traffic. All of a sudden Pratigya's eyes dropped on a young man near the footpath, with his head down repairing his motorbike. She couldn't see his face but his kneeling structure fascinated her.  As the Rickshaw passed him, the stranger didn't look up at her or aknowledge her but a yard away, something pulled at her scarf. She asked the driver to stop and turned around and called out "Badtameez!" Now the young man did look. She met his gaze and stepped out of the rickshaw holding on to her end of the scarf. She ambled towards him and he watched her every step as though mesmerized by her being. She started "How dare you?". The young man replied "Kaa?". Pratigya closed her fist tight and neared him some more. "How dare you pull my scarf, never seen one before? Such a cheap act that was". Now the young man's jawbone twitched still keeping his gaze on her and stood up. "Naam kaa hai tumra?" He asked which infuriated Pratigya even more. "My name?, my name? What you want to tattoo it on your head?". He gave a smirk and said "What am I being accused for, Aise ration paani lekhe tumo kyun hum pe chadi ja rahi ho?"

Annoyed Pratigya went to explain about how he handled her scarf when she noticed that the scarf's other end was no way near the stranger but was dangling on a loose nail of a wooden stall. She felt embarrassed.

She tried to apologise but the young man wasn't interested,  infact he walked over to the stall and lifted her scarf end carefully then walked over and opened Pratigya's closed fist and left it in her hand.  His eyes never once leaving hers until he took a few steps back and turned away from her to head back to his abandoned bike.  The matter was at end as far as he was concerned.

Pratigya climbed back into the rickshaw. She was completely dazzled and Rolly prodded pratigya. Pratigya's head was turned back to see the stranger, but he was busy with his bike.  Rolly asked "Why did he want to know your name?" and Pratigya just shrugged and replied "Forget my name Rolly that's not important  ' Lekhin is ladke kaa naam zaroor puchna parey gaa!"

second part on page 7
3rd installment page 9
4th installment page 14
5th installment page 18
6th installment page 24


Edited by carisma2 - 31 March 2011 at 2:16pm

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kriya_sruthi Senior Member
kriya_sruthi
kriya_sruthi

Joined: 03 May 2010
Posts: 833

Posted: 22 December 2010 at 5:56pm | IP Logged

good going didi... congrats... pls update soon.... Smile

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carisma2

carisma2 IF-Stunnerz
carisma2
carisma2

Joined: 25 January 2007
Posts: 29803

Posted: 22 December 2010 at 5:57pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by kriya_sruthi

good going didi... congrats... pls update soon.... Smile

Thankyou - sachi - did u like it?

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carisma2-bedrin

aleena1 IF-Rockerz
aleena1
aleena1

Joined: 31 August 2005
Posts: 9268

Posted: 22 December 2010 at 6:03pm | IP Logged
Awesome ClapClapClapStarStarStar
 
Welcome to the world of ff writingSmile I like your writing style
 
Loved the concept.......
 
update soon plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.............. keep it upThumbs Up

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carisma2

laks76 Goldie
laks76
laks76

Joined: 02 June 2010
Posts: 1602

Posted: 22 December 2010 at 6:05pm | IP Logged
Good work Carishma. You are good in everything. Emotional Athyachar,Vm and now FF good. please find a nice name for the FF. it is really good. waiting for the next update.

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carisma2

babithaj IF-Sizzlerz
babithaj
babithaj

Joined: 16 August 2010
Posts: 10958

Posted: 22 December 2010 at 6:08pm | IP Logged
Hey, even I liked the ulta version... update karbo carisma...Thumbs Up

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carisma2

carisma2 IF-Stunnerz
carisma2
carisma2

Joined: 25 January 2007
Posts: 29803

Posted: 22 December 2010 at 6:09pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by aleena1

Awesome ClapClapClapStarStarStar
 
Welcome to the world of ff writingSmile I like your writing style
 
Loved the concept.......
 
update soon plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.............. keep it upThumbs Up
thanks a lot dear, i suppose i have a novel writting style, coz dats something i really wanna do,
i like your ff aswell.
thanks a lot

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carisma2-bedrin

carisma2 IF-Stunnerz
carisma2
carisma2

Joined: 25 January 2007
Posts: 29803

Posted: 22 December 2010 at 6:11pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by laks76

Good work Carishma. You are good in everything. Emotional Athyachar,Vm and now FF good. please find a nice name for the FF. it is really good. waiting for the next update.
thanks a lot yaar, i am open to suggestiions for a name. it was the last line that was stuck in my head is ladke kaa naam that made me do a ff.
and really thanks a lot.

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carisma2-bedrin

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