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All Tees Maar Khan reviews here (Page 33)

Zareena IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 07 August 2008
Posts: 25384

Posted: 24 December 2010 at 3:18pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by MeghaSRKLover

Originally posted by Debo_afg

I dont believe Taran's review anymore, I thought on twitter he said how poor the movie is. 
well you know,  a generous "tip" can do anything Wink

hahaha best comment of 2010ROFL

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Zareena IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 07 August 2008
Posts: 25384

Posted: 24 December 2010 at 3:35pm | IP Logged
LOL!!! just watched the BH public verdict. This is worse than KANKROFL Thank God i saved my money, and farah i think you made the movie for yourself because audience and critics bashed the movie and rejected it!! One guy said he fell asleepROFL and almost rest of them said it's bakwas, why did she made a movie which was already madeLOL was this person referring to OSO?? Comments like 'Bachoon ki film hai','No comment (with laughter' just shocks you. Because audience LOVED OSO and MHN. The thing is with MHN and OSO, Srk use to give his input to as how it can be more interesting. But here she got her hubby who made Jaaneman lol so we can expect what outcome. oh well, jaisey karni waisey bharniWink

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xDestinyx Senior Member

Joined: 24 October 2010
Posts: 220

Posted: 24 December 2010 at 3:39pm | IP Logged
You find me the worst film ever made & I will give it an oscar over this film 
Zareena IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 07 August 2008
Posts: 25384

Posted: 24 December 2010 at 3:43pm | IP Logged
Tees Maar Khan Movie Review – Quite a Tees Bore Khan 1.5/5

by Khalid Mohamed

Tees Maar Khan
Cast: Akshay Kumar, Katrina Kaif, Flowery Shirts, Grins Galore
Director: Farah Khan

Rating: One and half stars

Flower, no power. Outfitted in rose-tulip-'n'-daisy- shirts probably grown in a garden, con-guy Tabrez behaves with the cactus-like authority of Khan Changez. More mind-bogglers: An airflight from Paris to Mumbai almost crashes on auto-pilot, something indecipherable transpires at a dance-deprived dandiya raas. And for the cherry on the pudding, every character indulges in non-stop bakwas. Yak yak yak, giving you an instant yakache.

Plus below-the-belt blows are dealt to Shah Rukh Khan (this production is far superior to Om Shanti Om, it's stated, besides snorting at six-pack abs), Prafull Patel (a minister's daughter is accorded privileged treatment on flight), Aamir Khan, Danny Boyle and Denzongpa, Manoj Night (Day,it seems) Shyamalan, Steven Spielberg. Even Manoj Bajpayee isn't spared.

About the only one who escapes Farah Khan's radar is Farah Khan herself, and of course the worthy cast-and-crew of the quite worthless Tees Maar Khan. So, okay irreverence is more than welcome in the rigidly politically correct Bollywood system. Yet, an element of self-parody would have balanced this otherwise totally anarchic, asinine spoof which is watchable to a micro-mini-degree. Post-interval, it runs amuck like pomeranians in a dog biscuit shop. Arf arf? Bow wow?

Sad to say, there's no wow factor unless you count the zappily-picturised Sheila ki Jawani item number. Still you say that with some reservations: Why so many cuts to an enthralled weirdo who's presumably a director? And why the cups being held up for a toast in reference to Jumma chumma number from Hum? Come on, surely Farah Khan has never been short of ideas for choreography, she's still the big boss in that department.

But now, Farah badnaam hui because the story premise – or whatever there is of it — has been cadged from Hollywood's moth-chomped After the Fox (1966). which saw an uneasy alliance between leading man Peter Sellers, writer Neil Simon and director Vittorio de Sica. The three never came together again. Ummm, a red signal warning here.

Wallah, anyway Tees Maar Khan ropes in Salman Khan to heat up a dancing do, no dice, ho-ham dub-bangg. Curiously, for the finale the Mere desh ki dharti anthem is blared after all the bad blood over lampooning Manoj Kumar in Om Shanti Om. And in a doff to animation flicks, the enterprise kicks off with a bizarre SFX piece about a to-be-born kid freaking out on Bollywood's crime movies. Next: a crook is born, a thieving, Mona Lisa-style grinning con man who's "half a Robin Hood." Why half? Umm, he steals from the rich but doesn't distribute the goodies among the poor.How's that for that blatantly immoral humour?

By now, logic and good taste are thrown to the winds. Accompanied by 3 idiots who break into Dostana gestures and utter gibberish, Mr Grin (Akshay Kumar) takes off to the Dhuliya hamlet to shoot a feature film. The entourage thickens with a superstar (Akshaye Khanna, ha ha!), Grin's girlfriend flashing 32 pearly white teeth (Katrina Kaif), and a motley group of villagers. A brainless bunch, then, acts out a British Raj movie, a kind of an Om Lagaan Om. It's all a madcap subterfuge, of course. Eeesh.

The plan is to loot a train carrying antiques, jewels and plain junk. Such bunk! Before the mission is accomplished, Mr Grin turns over a new cabbage, adores the Dhuliyakars, rescues kidnapped kids from a Sleepy Hollow-inspired ghost on a horse. And oozes the skimmed milk of human kindness — never mind if a blind old man and an albino are mocked for being physically challenged. As for Grin saheb's rotund,garrulous mother (Merry-go-ground Eyes), she overacts to the extent of arousing your murderous instincts.

Throughout you're shocked by the higgledy-piggledy screenplay and the blood-curdlingly loud direction. Farah Khan is too overwrought and feverish. Like it not, the bid to press all the right commercial buttons more often than not activates the wrong ones. In addition, there's an obsessive kink about awards, and winning the Oscars. Incidentally, A R Rahman's Jai ho soundtrack rings in so often that the envy shows, and how.

How you miss Farah Khan's feather-light touch. Here every point and joke is bludgeoned into you as if you were too dimwitted to catch the PJs. For heaven's sake, please don't treat the audience as toddling ninnies. The intensely publicised film may be a super-hit, a hit or an average earner. That's immaterial. More to the point, as a filmmaker Farah Khan has reversed the clock, earlier she was far more frothy, less fretful.

The cinematography strikes some clever angles but is too brightly lit for comfort, except in the mandatory sunset shots. The editing by Shirish Kunder, well, it's passable.Kunder also co-scripts, handles the story and dialogue, and believe you this, composes a song and the background score too. Clearly, he takes on more on his plate than he can chew. The Vishal and Shekhar music is remarkable essentially for the swinging Sheila track.

Of the cast, Katrina Kaif mistakes exaggeration, extra lip gloss and oooh-ewwww facial expressions for comedy. A line of dialogue from Akshay Kumar maintains, "Acting is like chewing gum, it's good to taste in the beginning..but very difficult once the taste goes." Right said, Akshay. Evidently, acting has become laboured for him. There is neither fluidity nor sparkle. His wardrobe is the worst since Amitabh Bachchan's carpet tunic in Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. Oof.

Finally, everyone involved in Tees Maar Khan wins an Oscar-like award.The audience deserves one, too, for surviving the show.

sorry if already posted

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eraser IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 18 May 2008
Posts: 17152

Posted: 24 December 2010 at 4:28pm | IP Logged

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IHeartDeepika. IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 20 October 2010
Posts: 11013

Posted: 24 December 2010 at 4:52pm | IP Logged
My sister dragged me to see TMK. I am still recovering. It is the worst film I have seen in a long long time. There is NO script. Akshay is just goofing around. Katrina looks hot but she can not act to save her life. Her role is so small too! She thinks comedy is opening your eyes in Ajab. Basically all she says is "Main aaurrrrr makeup laga ke aati hoon" and "You dirty dog!"LOL She was heading in a positive direction with NY and Rajneeti but she took 10 steps back with this film. She is unbearable in it. I can see how she saw the commercial viability but seriously, her role is cringe-worthy. How can she be a Madhuri or Sridevi when she can't even be a Priyanka or Kareena? They are mile and miles ahead of her in acting department. I hate how she is just a prop in every movie!
Akshaye Khanna is funny but gets a little carried away with the Oscar thingy. Farah WHY in the world did you make this film? Pointless crap that is torturing everyone. The digs at SRK was completely in bad tasteOuch I reccomend that people stay away from this film.Utter rubbish. A complete waste of time, energy and money 
Thumbs Down We left the theatre at  interval along with an entire gang.
Farah aur Akshay  se achi movie expect karna aur Katrina se kuch bhi expect karna, oye dono hi bekaar hai.

Edited by IHeartDeepika - 24 December 2010 at 4:57pm

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IHeartDeepika. IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 20 October 2010
Posts: 11013

Posted: 24 December 2010 at 5:32pm | IP Logged

Thoda Maaf Kar

Posted On Saturday, December 25, 2010 at 02:05:58 AM
 Tees Maar Khan

Director :
Farah Khan
Actors : Akshay Kumar, Katrina Kaif, Akshay Khanna, Rajiv & Raghu Lakshman, Arya Babbar, Sachin Khedekar Run time : 140 mins
Certification : U
Rating : * 1 /2

Oh God, this is a terrible film; dragging, forced, so outdated and duh boring. Farah Khan, who has usurped the title of the new Manmohan Desai, is a master at marketing the so called mad masala film, but this time the hit director may have finally risen to her full level of incompetence.

Tees Maar Khan is full of endless buffoonery. Farah Khan's earlier two cornball ventures may have worked at the box office, but I am not so sure about this one.

Indian audiences have finally changed, as this year has fully proved, and not for nothing is SRK known as the badshah of Bollywood.

The story of TMK is nonsensical, trying to masquerade as comedic genius. Tabrez Mirza Khan (Akshay Kumar) is TMK, the coolest con man in the world, though three stupid sidekicks surround him, a grating mother who thinks he is a film director and a ditzy girlfriend, Katrina Kaif, who wants to be a film actress.

Though he looks lukha, Akshay is smart enough to escape from a flying plane, even while he is handcuffed, with two policemen as escorts. So TMK is hired by two evil twins, Raghu & Rajeev and is told to steal a train full of treasure, which is traveling from Mumbai to Delhi under heavy police escort.

Since Akshay is a broke Bond without bucks, he makes a plan to shoot a fake movie where the train passes.

So he steals a camera, pretends to be Manoj Day Ramalan, and hires the hot Bollywood megalomaniac hero, Akshay Khanna, who dreams of an Oscar in every dialogue.

Then they all land up at Dhulia village, filled with brain-dead villagers, and con them into shooting the fake movie, which involves stopping the actual train and looting it. All of it gets very stretched and boring.

Tees Maar Khan is a pretend campy film, just that it's totally tacky and juvenile. Music channels were doing this kind of inane gag humour fifteen years ago, and even then it was considered second rate material. TMK is full of just stupid incidents zanily stitched up with elaborate songs in between. Speaking of which, though sheela ki jawani is quite hot, it just doesn't have the same zing of munni.

The music in TMK is decent but the dialogue, screenplay and production design standards are terrible. Gloating lines like 'Khaano mein khan, tees maar khan' are endlessly repeated.

Half the Kunder family has worked in TMK, and it clearly shows in the film, as their smiling faces appear in the endless end credits, alongwith various lightmen, spotboys, Ronnie Screwvala etc. One happy family video.

Akshay Kumar finishes the year with yet another garbled up turkey. Sure, he tries hard, looks superb and has great comic timing, but he needs urgent help picking his films. As for Katrina, this must be her worst ever role - she just flutters and sashays her way through aimlessly.

Akshay Khanna is the only redeeming actor who gets his over the top role right, while Arya Babbar does a good job. The talented twins, Rajiv and Raghu are used terribly, and get very painful, like the over bearing mother and many other stock characters.

Finally, the manner in which the searing song, 'is desh ki dharti sona ugle', is used in TMK is in very poor taste and not funny, just like the film itself.

Tees Maar Khan  is full of just stupid incidents zanily stitched up with elaborate songs in between

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-Mala- Goldie

Joined: 17 June 2009
Posts: 1451

Posted: 24 December 2010 at 5:42pm | IP Logged
SO SO SO happy people have disliked it. slap in Farah's face that PROMOTIONS are not greater than the content of a film!!!!!

Im sorry but if this film received would have started a bad trend of overpromotion and brainless films.

i was SICK of the promotions. What do you guys remember from the promotions? was the movie promoted or just a hype was created ? They barely spoke about the film, their vision, their team.

And Farah kept on shouting on top of the rooftops that Sheila was a hit. so forced and disturbing. she thinks the audience is dumb.

Edited by -Mala- - 24 December 2010 at 5:48pm

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