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Manzil-SaJan and Angad-Kripa FF Pr7 pg11 (Page 13)

spvd IF-Addictz

Joined: 22 December 2007
Posts: 51612

Posted: 02 January 2011 at 11:51pm | IP Logged
nice parts...................
cont soon..................
Happy New Year...................

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SwaNia_1 IF-Dazzler

Joined: 02 March 2010
Posts: 3443

Posted: 24 January 2011 at 1:48pm | IP Logged
Wow!! janki ur FF is amazing  i thoroughly enjoyed reading ur ff plss cont soon n plss add me in ur PM list ...
Thanks ......

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Annu.. IF-Rockerz

Joined: 19 August 2008
Posts: 6130

Posted: 10 June 2011 at 7:21am | IP Logged

in gunjan's family intro.. it was written that the females do not have the right to be happy.. what does it mean?  If u say that the females do not get the freedom as much as the men get.. that sounds ok.. but why cant the women of this family be happy? and why do the men of the family desire like this?

Its zevar.. not jebar

Ur writing is heavily inspired by daily soaps.. few things like.. the female are not allowed to go outside without any male member, G's father beats her mother and she never minds.. the girls are not allowed to know anything abt their future husband, look OTT.. if they have put so much restrictions on them then how on earth their girls are allowed to go to college.. jab haandi choolhaa hi karwana hai, in aurton pe apna hukumm hi chalaana hai then what is the need to allow them to get some education..

Kripa had become rebellious bcoz of that suffocated atmosphere of her house, that makes sense.. she eloped that also makes sense, stupid girls often do such immature things.. but at the same time she seemed a bit selfish too.. before eloping, she should have raised her voice against her father's beating up her mother thing.. she gave a big badnaami ka daagh to her family back home.. so instead of performing her last ritual on that same day, why didn't her family try to find her out and gave her a hard punishment for her wrong deed?? were they mentally prepared that due to their countless restrictions on them, one of the girls of their family might go to such extremes??

Its really strange that a beautiful liberated girl like Kripa who has no prob with over nite stay in her friend's farmhouse, doesnt have any bf yet..  in reality, the girls like kripa use to dump couple of guyz already.. is singing her source of earning or this Sapna is a charity hostel?

Ok, samrat's sis Suhani is ill treated by her inlaws.. and Sam knows abt it..  first of all, why is she being ill treated? And why she didn't complain to her inlaws or to her parents abt their sick behavior.. there must be some reason of it naa, what is it??  and being her brother, did samrat talk Kartik abt this serious matter? what did he do by now?

Its interesting that Angad's marriage was fixed with Gunjan since childhood.. so he should have been mentally prepared for this shaadi.. but he is still complaining abt it.. Samrat looks Okay but a bit irritating too.. why both Sharma and Khanna family are so old fashioned..

Ok, that SaJan first meeting looked a bit unreal.. where in the world does a tensed girl water the plant in the muddy garden when her would be husband is sitting inside her house, waiting for their first meeting..  but the way Gunjan thinks that the guy is Angad looks real.. its interesting that Gunjan who never met Angad before, never knew anything abt him, but still allowed him to touch her face in their very first meeting..

how non serious parents Ashwani has.. when they do know that her daughter gets angry over a small lil things so instead of finding a calm and composed guy for her daughter.. they are planning to fix her marriage with a flirt Sam, whom they hate too..

ok, seems like Samrat is liking Gunjan.. did he forget that this girl is actually his friend Angad's future wife and his would be Bhabhi..

P.S.  why everything is so to the point..Confused the story is moving just through short dialogues.. ur narration should be more descriptive..Embarrassed 

Edited by annu127 - 10 June 2011 at 7:22am
2cute4u_22 Senior Member

Joined: 06 June 2011
Posts: 571

Posted: 29 July 2011 at 2:04pm | IP Logged
ohh this is good... can i get pmed plzz

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