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Rang Badalti Odhani
Rang Badalti Odhani

ShaNak in Dhulwadi FF Part 14 Page 6 (Page 3)

saaaz IF-Dazzler
saaaz
saaaz

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 4210

Posted: 27 December 2010 at 8:19pm | IP Logged
Okay Aditeeeeeee....posting my comments here tooo...

Part 6
OKAY loved loved Shaan the burdthal with all the other cartoons...wrto khanak- the progress from caanot belive he has come to what is he doing here..this may be so uncomfy for him...could read all of that in her dialogues....AND from his side...the classic Shaan ..this is so difficult for me,..why can;t she understand that....AH!! dil khush kar diya....

I love how you potray Khanak's nervouness in her constantly walking around. doing stuff.....washing hands, washing her face.....and needs to be cornered to stop and react and ACT!!! 

As for the scene in the haveli..haaye...love the anticipation of whats to come....Ubal pade aankhon se meethe paani ka jharna....O saathi re....

Part 7
pai laago aditee jee....charan sparsh ke liye emoticon tho nahin hai...lekin tat is eggjhactly what i want to say....

HAILA>...his 'yaad aayi meri' completely at an unexpected point of the conversation.....maar dala...


PART 8 & 9

...I am not liking this Shaan at all....he reminds me of some boor  who thinks he can always do manmani....his manmaani is usually only during cheating otherwise the Shaan I know lends a ear to Khanak....

Khanak is giving him good..LOVED LOVED LOVED the parting dialogue by her.... ....your writing is something man...something!!! Now get Khanak to yell at him somemore...

KABHI KABHI YUN KARNA 
MAIN DAANTOO
AUR TUM DARNA>....

O saathi re>.


Part10

HAILA>.... shaan is sick!!!

REEL LIFE MEETS REAL LIFE MEETS FF LIFE >>

TOO MUCH....

love the 'talk' radio station...aiyooo missed dialogues between them but hey, I know this is needed for story to move on...

get her there with Gopi to take care of him...Burdthal!! must have drank the water and fallen sick!!..aww!! love boors when they get sick....looking forward to next part .....

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

aditee

aditee IF-Rockerz
aditee
aditee

Joined: 31 May 2006
Posts: 7594

Posted: 27 December 2010 at 8:29pm | IP Logged
Thanks SAAZ
Likhna to tere liye aur apne 3 bandhuon ke liye shuru kiya so I REALLY APPRECIATE you writing in with such detailed commentary
 
Makes it worth every minute spent writing in MS-Word!
 
I truly appreciate all the kind comments and compliments
 
This FF is more like a wish list that may never happen.
The day the show moves to Dhulwadi I will stop this
 
Coz they weave a better magic than I do... for sure!
 

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

ktymfansaaaz

tvrasika IF-Rockerz
tvrasika
tvrasika

Joined: 14 April 2009
Posts: 7258

Posted: 27 December 2010 at 9:48pm | IP Logged
Aditi,
Finally managed to read all the parts.... wow.... really nice going there.... am loving it... Shaan is ill even in FF.... poor thing.....
priya_cool_123 IF-Rockerz
priya_cool_123
priya_cool_123

Joined: 01 October 2010
Posts: 7621

Posted: 28 December 2010 at 7:00am | IP Logged
all the updates were very nice...... keep updating
saaaz IF-Dazzler
saaaz
saaaz

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 4210

Posted: 29 December 2010 at 7:56pm | IP Logged
OYE CHORIIIII...kidhar gayi tu????
rooj-i IF-Sizzlerz
rooj-i
rooj-i

Joined: 09 January 2007
Posts: 13493

Posted: 29 December 2010 at 8:45pm | IP Logged
Good job Aditee! I really like this whole story...

keep up the good work! :P
OlicityFan IF-Rockerz
OlicityFan
OlicityFan

Joined: 31 July 2010
Posts: 6214

Posted: 29 December 2010 at 11:48pm | IP Logged
u r first person to start an FF frm part 3!!.....ady!!!....
gr8 work yaar....im planning to ask the cvs to show shanak in dhulwadi for a few weeks!!....we luv it....dnt we?

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

aditee

saaaz IF-Dazzler
saaaz
saaaz

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 4210

Posted: 30 December 2010 at 12:37am | IP Logged
I swear aditee I hope the Cvs read this ff

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