Rang Badalti Odhani


Rang Badalti Odhani
Rang Badalti Odhani

ShaNak in Dhulwadi FF Part 14 Page 6

aditee IF-Rockerz

Joined: 31 May 2006
Posts: 7594

Posted: 20 December 2010 at 8:33am | IP Logged
I believe its Part 3LOL
Part 1 & 2, abhi likha nahi
Khanak is in Dhulwadi at her Bai and Aada's Shaan obviously has come after her but has too much pride to admit it
They both are playing hard to get!
Abhi maine ladai ka reason nahi socha
Will do and post part 1 &2
Khanak  and Gopi walked towards the "haveli". Earlier in the day they had "bumped into" Shaan and he had told Gopi that he had brought books from Mumbai for her. Khanak really did not like the idea of going to the haveli. But she knew she WANTED TO deep down inside her

They enter the courtyard, its empty, except for a bunch of rattan chairs and a coffee table with a laptop on it, the screen saver shows some "angrez" froma  band playing music''..she KNOWS he is home. They hesitate, when a servant walks up and nods at the sight of Khanak he says "Chhoti maalkin?!"

Khanak looks away!

Gopi smiles

Servant: Kuch kaam tha? (polite) Mera naam Chirag hai'.. aur Sir yahan" turns around looking for''

Khanak: Umm''ummmm' Gopi ko'.

Gopi: Haan Shantanu Bha mere liye kitaaben laaye hain Mumbai se, unhoney mujhe aane ko kaha

Servant: Jee chaliye mere saath.

Gopi turns towards Khanak,"tum nahi chalogi"

Khanak: Gopi jaldi jao aur lekar aao. Yahan zyaada der nahi rukna mujhe

Gopi" Andar to chalo"

Khanak: Nahi tum jao "Main yahi rukti hoon"

She was curious to know if Shaan was inside. She wanted to look at his picture on the wall, the one she broke 8 months ago!

Gopi reluctantly follows Chirag

Khanak finds a bird feed cum fountain in the center of the courtyard she walks up to it, the dust storm last nite seems to have blown lost of dirt and leaves into it. She starts removing them all.

She hears footsteps, the far corner of the courtyard, the object of her thoughts walks in with a bottle of beer in his hand.

He stops and looks at her, his eyes smile, but none in his demeanor

She steps back from the fountain.

He places the beer on the coffee table with the mug on the side. The mug is all frosted, she notices, he is wearing a blue stripe shirt with tan trousers,one side  is tucked in.

Her hands are dirty, she hides them from his view. They stand there looking at each other. She wont approach him so he does the honors

She takes a step back when he sees him get closer.

Khanak: Gopi ke saath aayi main

Shaan: Oh? (hides his amusement)

Khanak: Gopi ne kaha usko kitaaben

Shaan: Oh!

Khanak: Gopi abhi aati hogi (eye search behind his shoulder)


Shaan: Gopi'.. (do u want to start another sentence with Gopi may be?)

Khanak: Nahi!

Khanak: Aap din mein madira peete hain (accusingly)

Shaan: Technically Khanak'''' checks his watch) "abhi 5.59 hai

Khanak: "Tek" kya?

Shaan: Mera matlab hai Khanak abhi din khatam ho chuka hai

Khanak: Par raat kahan hui hai? (Looks up at the sky)

Find him staring at her neck!

Shaan: (just looking at her neck) Nahi! Abhi raat nahi hui"

Hears Khanak dust her hands off at her back and returns to the real world

Shaan: Itni garmi hai aaj. I wanted a beer! (firmly)

Khanak: Dhulwadi mein koi sham ko madira nahi peeta" (disapproving)

Shaan: Ho gaya? (tries to look behind her) "Kya hai haath mein?"

Khanak: waves it in front of his face, "kuch nahi who bus, wahan who, paani ka fawaara mitti se bhar gaya tha"

Shaan: YOU'VE GOT TO EB KIDDING ME! Tumne saaf kiya (upset)

Khanak: Mujhe chalna chahiye!

Shaan: KHANAK! Jaakar haath dho lo

Khanak: Nahi!

Shaan: kitni mitti hai! (upset)

Khanak: Bus who paani'''..

Shaan: Jhagda baad mein karenge, jao haath dho-o!

She doesn't want to but goes in anyway, another mundu shows up takes her to the bathroom she washes her hands, walks out through the gallery/corridor sees the wall of pictures,  keeps walking does not pause by his even though she wants to, finds an ornate narrow table by the wall with what looks like a digital picture frame displaying pics of the hubby's family

She is fascinated, just stares at it

Shaan: khushboo bhabhi aane waali hai na so unhoney apney style se yahan sab karwaya

She doesn't turn to face him. He stands there waiting for her to, one hand  tucked in the pocket the other holding the mug of beer, rocking on the balls of his foot

Khanak: Kitni tasveeren ek mein? (shocked)

Shaan (gently) digital hai Khanak! (smiles)

Khanak HAS to turn around for this one "Digi" kya?

Shaan, one of his glorious smiles "digital picture frame"

She decides she doesn't want an English lesson at this point

Khanak: khusboo bhabhi yahan kyon aa rahi hai? (how come she never asked for my permission kinda tone)

Shaan: She wants to rest for a while, doctor ne sheher se door kuch din aaram karne ko kaha hai

Khanak: KYON? Kya ho gaya unhe (shocked)

Shaan brings his hand out almost to touch her, she steps back so he stops " Kuch nahi she is 12' 14 I don't know I guess some weeks, mera matlab pregnant hai. Matlab'. Unko bacha honey waala hai"

Khanak blushes big time

Khanak: Iska matlab aap kaka banenge aur main kaki (is overjoyed)

They both dont say a word just stare at each other!

Khanak lands in the real world first and realizes what she just said

Retracts hers statement
Khanak: Mera matlab aap kaka banenge!
Shaan: Woh tum pehle hi keh chuki ho (not letting go)
Gopi walks in with Chirag
He is carrying a box of books
Khanak and Shaan step out of their trance........ reluctantly
Khanak: Itni saari kitaaben?
Gopi: Haan! (is overjoyed)
Khanak: Bahut mehengey hongey
Thats it! Pisses off our guy BIG TIME!
Shaan: " Gopi, Chirag tumhari books ghar tak lekar jaayega"
Gopi: Arrey nahi Shantanu bha, mujhe koi pareshaani nahi, aapko inki zaroorat hogi"
Shaan still super mad at wifey, "nahi! Chirag, jao books deliver karo"
Chirag nods. Gopi starts walking away with Chirag, she so excited at getting the books, unmindful of Khanak not taking astep fwd
Khanak: Yeh EK hain aur ghar par 4 naukar hain (mocks, doesnt expect him to hear it)
Shaan with a super angry look "Khanak unless tum yaha ruk kar mere se un kitabon ki baat nahi karna chahti..........." trails off, takes a big gulp of his beer.
He is not smiling at all
Khanak thinks its better to run away at this point, scampers behind Gopi and Chirag
He leans on the table and stares at her running away!
Part 4

Part 4

Phone rings

Khanak  jumps up from the task of sewing sequins on her new saree and runs to the phone, she is wearing a pink jaipuri suit, hair tied up in a high pony tail

No electricity all day long, she can feel her clothes stick to her body


Khanak: To tayyar ho jao, Jignesh bha hume lekar jaayenge (almost sings)

Shaan: Yeh Jignesh Bha kaun hai Khanak (deep sex- voice)

Khanak: Aap?

Shaan: Tumhe kiske phone ka intezaar tha

Khanak miffed: "Aapne kyon kiya"

Shaan: Tumne meri baat ka jawab nahi diya

Khanak: Aapne phone kiya aap bataye kyon

Shaan: Khanak'.. (I am on a short leash here)

Both don't say anything for a while'.

Shaan: Kal tumne un books ke liye sorry nahi kaha (angry)

Khanak: Lekin jab koi kuch deta hai to thank you kehte hain sorry nahi (smartass)

Shaan: Funny? Mera matlab chutkula? (not happy at all)

Khanak: Nahi thank you (smiles)

Shaan: Tumne kal kya kaha?

Khanak realizes that comment about Gopi receving an "expensive" gift

Khanak (ashamed) Aapko itni mehangi


Khanak: Aapko paise le lene

Shaan: Tumhe bahut mazaa aata hai na?

Khanak: Maine to abhi tak usme se ek bhi kitaab nahi padhi, phir mujhe kya maloom kitni mazedaar hain!

Shaan: KHANAK! (knock it off! Will u)


Shaan: Kahan ja rahi ho tum? Aur kaun leka jar aha hai tumhe? (possessive)

Khanak: Who'''.. um'''.. who'. Gopi aur main''''.. Jignesh Bha lekar''''' who Gopi aur main Jignesh Bha ke saath Bhuj ki Sankranti dekhne ja rahe hain''''. Kal (almost a whisper)

Shaan: BHUJ ki Sankranti?

Khanak: Aapko nahi maloom?

Shaan: Nahi'. Main to har saal jaata hoon'''. Khanak''' meri pehli Gujarati biwi ho tum''..! (sternly but yet mocking)

The "wife" word makes her very uncomfortable'''


Khanak: Pehli ("ka kya matlab hai" is swallowed) Mera matlab hum log ja rahey hain''''

They both know the other has gotten the message

A lil dance of joy!

Back to the sparring''.

Shaan: BHUJ? 50 KILOMETER? KAISE? (angry)

Khanak: Bus se! Hum to har saal yoon hi jaate hain

Shaan: LEKIN HAR SAAL TUMHARI SHAADI nahi hui hoti (irritated)

Khanak thinks "I don't live with you anymore so in my mind I am not married to you")

Shaan: Tumhe jo "sochna" hai tum soch lo, but KEHNA mat (unless you want me to come over and strangle you)

Khanak: Bai yahan'. Distracted

Shaan: Kya hua?

Khanak: Aaj yaha saarey din batti nahi thi, abhi aayi, Bai ne pankha meri taraf ghumaya (very normal pleasant)

Shaan: Saara din?

Khanak: Haan, yahan to kabhi kabhi 4 din nahi rehti'''

She is obviously driving him up the wall with all that

Shaan: Tum sorry kahogi ya main wahan aaon(lets cut the chase here)

Khanak: Nahi''..

Shaan: Theek hai phir main aa raha hoon, God! (shakes his head in frustration)

Khanak: Nahi''. Aapko itni mehangi

Shaan: I WANT A SORRY Khanak not'''. Mujhe tumhari rai ki zaroorat nahi ki kitaben kitni mehangi thi


Shaan: Hello! Kuch bolo'''

Khanak:Mmmm'''. Mujhe Gopi ko phone karna hai

Shaan: to?

They both wait''..

Khanak: sor

Shaan (at that moment) main do din ke liye Dilli jar aha hoon

Khanak: Kyon (spontaneous)

He smiles

Khanak: Hum kal Bhuj ja rahe hain


Shaan: Agar tum chahti ho ki main nahi jaaon to tumhe kehna padega Khanak

She wont! Too much pride

Shaan: Tum ka ke liye sorry keh dogi to main shaayad ruk jaaon

Khanak: Ummm

Shaan: Khanak?

Shaan: Main kal gaadi bhej raha hoon tumhare liye


Shaan: To tum sorry keh do

God! he drives her insane

Shaan: Jignesh kaun hai?

Khanak: Kanti kaka ke bte


Khanak: Who mere aada ke tayaji ke bte hain, mere bahut priya

Shaan: Priya?

Khanak: Mujhe bahut pasand hain


A Q froms in his mind "What about ME?"

She knows the answer to that one

Khanak: Who mere BHA hain!



To be continued'''..


Part 5

Khanak wore a pearl chikan kurta and salwar teamed it with a mustard and red tie and dye dupatta, hair in a pony tail. She walked over to Gopi's along with Jignesh and they took a bus to Bhuj.

The journey was long and tiring, it had been a while since she had taken a bus anywhere. Gopi was very happy to see Khanak in Dhulwadi, may be a part of her even wished she would not return to Mumbai. Khanak's heart skipped a beat when she thought of Mumbai. It would be impossible not to return'''..Shantanu was here already. He didn't have to spell it out but she knew.

The bus was quite crowded and they found seats only for the last 20 mins of the 1.5 hour journey.

She leaned on the window and let the wind swing her pony tail, shut her eyes, and opened them immediately, the image she saw was of her husband. In the blue shirt and tan trousers with the beer mug in hand. "wonder why he doesn't tuck his shirt in the whole way she thought"

The bus stopped many times'''' cattle crossing the road, camels being taken to the fair'''.. people getting on and off with the wave of the hand'''. Mumbai was more organized she thought'''

The air smelled of exhaust fumes and rain'''' "shaayad baarish hogi aaj" she thought

Gopi and Jignesh Bha were chatting about the latest Hindi and Gujarati movies. Khanak's Aada had given her over a Rs.1000 to spend at the fair, she wondered, where the money came from.

But then she worried about many things''''.

The bus finally crawled into the teeming edge of the fair by the famed Bhairon Mandir.

They got off, it was past 1 PM, her Aada had wanted her to be home by 5, she was not sure if that was even possible.

She hoped Jignesh Bha had a cell phone, she had left hers in Mumbai, she hadn't wanted anything of his when she left that house.

There were people everywhere, cattle calls, honking, vendors selling their ware, a riot of colors''''.. the walk to the temple would be accomplished in 20 or so minutes

They decide to stop for some prashad.  Darshan happens uneventfully, Khanak is part of her group, yet not''''. Thinks "pata nahi Shantanu dilli kyon ja rahen hain" "To aaj to chaley gaye hongey"

"agar Dhulwadi lautkar nahi aaye to?"

Gopi: Khanak kya soch rahi ho?

Khanak: Kuch nahi, mujhe dher saari khareedari karni hai mele mein, jo nayi kadhaai ka kaam shuru kiya hai maine uske liye dher saara samaan khareedna hai (worries how far the Rs.1000 will go)

Gopi: Mujhe kab dikahogi?

Khanak: yeh dekho is par saara moti aur sheeshe ka kaam maine kiya (shows off her dupatta)

Jignesh Bha: pehle kuch kha len kya?

Khanak: Mujhe bhi bahut bhook lagi hai

Gopi: KYA? TUMHE? Tum to har saal yahan sabse aakhir mein khaati ho, itna ghoomti jo rehti ho

K: Haan magar aaj nahi hai (evasive)

Jignesh Bha  bumps into a bunch of guys who happen to be from his village Sarwar

Most of them look and act like creeps, K and G are quite uncomfy

Jignesh invites them to hang out!

They walk together towards the huge mela, she can already feel this is not going well

She nudges her bro "Bha suniye"

J: Bolo khanak

K: Who yeh sab log'''

J: Maine kaha hum ja rahe hain aur yeh log bhi aa gaye (very proud of his achievement)

K is shocked.

G:Chhodo na K, hum dono saath mein rehte hain


A couple of guys slow down their pace and trail Jignesh

They walk over to a place selling food in a thaali

Khanak  is starving so decides to ignore the intrusion of the unwanted creeps.

One of his over friendly friend offers "arrey aap ko main bata raha hoon yahan ki thaali khaayenge to bahut swadisht paayenge"

Khanak: Nahi BHA aap khayiye (subtle but firm) main aage kahin kha loongi

Guy:Arrey wah aise kaise? (presses on)

They are all seated outside the stall in cheap rickety plastic furniture'''. The good samaritan "bha" sidles up to her seat

J: Khanak thoda sa kha lo, abhi hamey bahut ghoomna hai (happy)

They all start chowing down the food

K: Gopi zara paani dena (too spicy)

G: Ek minute

Friend: Ek second leejiye hands her a glass of water with his soiled right hand at first then quickly moves it to his left.

Shaan: Khanak tum IS PAANI KO PEENE WAALI HO? (angry)

She turns around STARTLED! Drops the glass of water, it shatters on the dirty pavement''


Its him! In a cool blue cotton trousers and a white shirt, shoes'.. sunglasses in one hand and water bottle in another. The "friend" is sitting on one side and Gopi is on her other side!

Suddenly she is not hungry anymore!



Edited by aditee - 02 February 2011 at 10:30pm

The following 20 member(s) liked the above post:

cutie-pieONAegoktymfanGaya3Deviwel1111.Rupali.angel_9adeelahujurafia 24saaaz-SYS-purvi08OlicityFanAttractiveAdyaFanaahSPN_JD_Addictedadventure_gurl.Dilwale.kubareShaNak_RagNa

priya_cool_123 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 01 October 2010
Posts: 7621

Posted: 20 December 2010 at 8:56am | IP Logged
good one aditee.... ye kya part 1 and 2 kahaan he..... and what happens next..... i really don know if i have to ask u to update 1 & 2 or part 6 next......
ya i can see u r taking care of the costumes well.....( blue striped shirt and tan shorts)Wink

Edited by priya_cool_123 - 20 December 2010 at 8:56am
kubare IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 09 May 2006
Posts: 19907

Posted: 20 December 2010 at 9:13am | IP Logged
Aditeeee...am havig a gala of a time reading your story without its part 1 & 2 yetLOLLOLLOLLOL...loved it so far...more then loved it....as Shaan is indeed dressed up as a cool dude..and Khanak in better clothes it seems and we are in Dulwhadi..yipeeee.....Dancing
So continue soon....Big smileLOL
.Dilwale. IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 13 January 2006
Posts: 10648

Posted: 20 December 2010 at 9:17am | IP Logged
good one aditee! loved it!Thumbs Up
destinylove IF-Rockerz

Joined: 09 August 2010
Posts: 7616

Posted: 20 December 2010 at 9:18am | IP Logged
really very very very nice... read the dialogues ..simple and good....costumes are good too.Big smile
cutiepie121 Groupbie

Joined: 19 August 2010
Posts: 53

Posted: 20 December 2010 at 9:26am | IP Logged

Beautiful Aditee.. please continue...

togepe30 IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 12 July 2005
Posts: 31116

Posted: 20 December 2010 at 9:35am | IP Logged
M soo glad you posted it here...!
Chalo......Koi toh meri baat manta hai !!
Gaayi we did it...LOL....We made her post it here *hi-five*
Mereko toh agla part chahiye....I have given u feedback on these in the morning itself...!

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:


rooj-i IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 09 January 2007
Posts: 13493

Posted: 20 December 2010 at 10:58am | IP Logged
first time seeing someone start from part 3 rather than part 2...
but i love the scenario so far.
will come back to comment more but thought ill let u know i like what u are writing

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