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PKYEK FF - The Crossroads...*NEW* Pg 51!!! UpDaTeD (Page 13)

amail1601 IF-Sizzlerz
amail1601
amail1601

Short Story contest runner up
Joined: 08 March 2007
Posts: 14027

Posted: 21 January 2011 at 2:00pm | IP Logged
 
 
Part 8
 
 
Pia keeps staring at Abhay while he is driving. They stop, and suddenly she realises that they are at her hostel. Abhay gets out of the car and comes around to open Pia's door for her. Taking his outstretched hand, Pia steps out of the car. Abhay pulls her close and stares deep into her eyes. Pia feels herself drowning..
 
Abhay presses her back against the car and she closes her eyes against Abhay's intense gaze. She opens them again to see him staring at her. His eyes contain an emotion she cannot define. Anger? Pain? Fear? 
 
She opens her mouth to speak, but Abhay puts a finger on her lips, indicating that she should not speak. Giving in, she leans forward to rest her head on his chest. He tightens his arms around her, and they spend a few moments like this - cocooned in their own private world where nothing exists except their love for each other.
 
Suddenly, she feels him tense, though he stills keeps his arms around her, not letting her look up at his eyes that are now glowing blue.
 
Sighing, he tightens his hold on her for a moment, but then pulls away. Silencing Pia's protest with a look, he walks her to the gate of the hostel.
 
Abhay (whispering): I need to go Pia.
 
Pia: But Abhay..
 
Abhay: I will be back soon. Don't go anywhere till then. Yahin pe rehna.
 
[He hugs her tightly for a few seconds, but then pulls back and goes away. Too dazed to think, Pia goes to her room.
She gets a call from Misha, and after worrying about her promise to Abhay not to leave her room, rushes out.]
 
*
 
Daanish can hear someone calling him through the mist.
 
Red. Again. It was red earlier too. Too much red. Black again...
 
Red. Not again! A soft hand. A girl's. Yummy!! Oho...black kyun??!!
 
Daanish. Mmmmm....nice hand! Daanish! Familiar voice.
 
He opens his eyes slowly. A face swims in the red haze. The haze clears.
 
Face: Daanish? What happened darling?
 
Daanish (weakly): Maaya?
 
Maaya: Haan Daanish. Main aa gayi. Tumhaare liye.
 
[Daanish faints again. When he wakes up, he sees Reva picking up her bag from the couch.]
 
Daanish: Maaya?
 
Reva (angrily): What the hell do you mean 'Maaya'? Fine, so I came home with you, but that does NOT mean you will confuse me with some other girl. I mean, you are a freak! Ladki ko ghar laate ho, darpok ho, and then you faint!!! *looks at him suspiciously* Are you even normal?
 
Daanish (suddenly snaps out of his disoriented state): What do you mean by 'normal'? Matlab kya hai tumhaara?
 
Reva: Matlab wohi hai jo tum samajh rahe ho. Loser!!!!
 
Daanish: I am NOT!!
 
Reva: Haah!!! See, I told you. You are not normal. I am leaving.
 
Daanish (grabbing her): I. Am. Normal.
 
Reva: Prove it!
 
Daanish: Proof? Tumhein proof chaahiye?
 
Reva: Huh! Tum kya proof doge? Kuch nahin kar sakte tum.
 
Daanish: Ok. Fine. Tumhein maine celebration ka reason nahin bataaya na? Toh suno. Main celebrate kar raha hoon kyunki aaj meri jeet hui hai.
Maaya is dead.
 
Reva: Phir Maaya? Huh!
 
Daanish: Haan. Maaya. Stupid ladki thi, but I had a lot of fun with her. Poori summers.
 
Reva (sarcastically): Kya kiya? Ludo khela?
 
Daanish: No. (smugly) I made her pregnant.
 
Reva: I don't believe you.
 
Daanish: Mere paas proof hai. Pictures. Videos. Letters. Maine Maaya ko pregnant kiya. Use paise offer kiye bacche ko abort karne ke liye. But no, she wanted me. And today, she is dead. Aur ab mere aur Panchhi ke beech mein koi nahin hai.
 
[Suddenly, the lights come on and Daanish sees the hall filled with his friends and family.....]
 
 
***
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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yoyolo Senior Member
yoyolo
yoyolo

Joined: 21 January 2008
Posts: 792

Posted: 21 January 2011 at 2:55pm | IP Logged
I love ur FF !! It's super interesting, and the funny parts are simply hilarious.
It's really good. Not too romantic, not too dark, and the suspense is really good : once u start reading u can't stop. And like I said, the funny parts are realllyyyyy funny. Keep up the good work ! Can't wait to read the next part. Big smile
 
PS. : I cracked up when I read "Chaand & Haseena ki jawaani" ROFL They're so sexyLOL


Edited by yoyolo - 21 January 2011 at 2:55pm
amail1601 IF-Sizzlerz
amail1601
amail1601

Short Story contest runner up
Joined: 08 March 2007
Posts: 14027

Posted: 21 January 2011 at 3:13pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by yoyolo

I love ur FF !! It's super interesting, and the funny parts are simply hilarious.
It's really good. Not too romantic, not too dark, and the suspense is really good : once u start reading u can't stop. And like I said, the funny parts are realllyyyyy funny. Keep up the good work ! Can't wait to read the next part. Big smile
 
PS. : I cracked up when I read "Chaand & Haseena ki jawaani" ROFL They're so sexyLOL
 
 
Hey!!!
Thanks so much for your lovely comments! Glad to know you liked my work, and even happier that my attempt to keep it light is working! EmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassed
 
 
@Chaand and Haseena.....yeah...the sexiesssssssssssst of 'em all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WinkWinkWink
 
 
btw, what's your name? Smile
 
 

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yoyolo

yoyolo Senior Member
yoyolo
yoyolo

Joined: 21 January 2008
Posts: 792

Posted: 21 January 2011 at 3:22pm | IP Logged
My name's Ishta. Smile what about you ?
amail1601 IF-Sizzlerz
amail1601
amail1601

Short Story contest runner up
Joined: 08 March 2007
Posts: 14027

Posted: 21 January 2011 at 3:24pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by yoyolo

My name's Ishta. Smile what about you ?
 
Nice to meet you Ishta. I'm Aditi. Smile
 
Really glad you liked my work. Embarrassed Would love to keep receiving your feedback. Smile
 

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

yoyolo

yoyolo Senior Member
yoyolo
yoyolo

Joined: 21 January 2008
Posts: 792

Posted: 21 January 2011 at 3:27pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by amail1601

Originally posted by yoyolo

My name's Ishta. Smile what about you ?
 
Nice to meet you Ishta. I'm Aditi. Smile
 
Really glad you liked my work. Embarrassed Would love to keep receiving your feedback. Smile
 


Same here Big smile and I surely will. Can't wait to read the next part.Big smileBig smile
Big smile

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amail1601

Jungli Billi IF-Sizzlerz
Jungli Billi
Jungli Billi

Joined: 03 September 2006
Posts: 10782

Posted: 21 January 2011 at 4:19pm | IP Logged
uh oh! Shocked < litterally sitting like this!
Danish put his foot in it...

well written was totally imagining it from danish's perspective.. feeling all confused n disorientated whilst reading..

abhay and pia are 'together' already adi? or that was a 'protective' sort of hug? Ermm
-Destiny- IF-Sizzlerz
-Destiny-
-Destiny-

Joined: 20 November 2009
Posts: 16971

Posted: 21 January 2011 at 11:25pm | IP Logged
Damn I was hoping u would tarpao Danish !!!! Well not that I hate it but yea I was expecting u know some more scheming.


Girl ab kya karne waali ho??

What will happen to Danish.

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