Posted: 06 January 2011 at 3:52am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ka7eela
Originally posted by lighteningbuzz3rd Update:
I loved what Abhay said about how he doesn't want to force her into doing anything just for the sake that they're married. That shows what a gentleman he is and how his feeling for her are genuine.Even in real life, I don't know how many men would actually do that? I had a cousin who loved someone else but, her parents didn't approve and got her marriage arranged with someone else. I remember I was in 9th grade at the time and she was way older than me but, I was very close to her. She never told me this at the time becuz, I was young but, later she shared with me when I was a little older in my first year of college that he had actually forced her on their first wedding night even though he knew that she wasn't comfortable and wasn't ready but, he didn't care as he stated that it was his right as a husband. She was extremely tearful and bitter about it becuz, even though he is her husband he still forced her against her will and didn't consider her feelings. They have one son now but, still, she once expressed to me that she doesn't feel that much sense of respect towards her husband to this day probably becuz, he never gave any respect to her own feelings or ever tried to understand what she wanted.
Sometimes, I wonder who is right or wrong in this situation?
I don't know how people in arrange marriages manage these situation where you consummate your marriage with someone you don't even know a thing about and most importantly you don't even love. And to make matters worse, I think its even more difficult to love someone else but, yet you are forced to consummate your marriage with someone else against your will.
I have seen many Indian women who go through the same situation where they don't have any choice or any right to say anything after marriage becuz, its the husband's decision and its his right to whatever he wants. I remember at a wedding sangeet, these indian women were teasing the to-be bride about how you just have to do what your husband says becuz, he is your husband and thats his right there's nothing you can do about it
This is why I loved the character of Sid in DMG in the initial stage becuz, he never forced himself on Riddhima
. And the character of Abhay makes me just fall in love with him and I don't blame Piya for being heads over heels in love with him...as he is just the perfect guy.
Sometimes I wonder do such guys actually exist in today's era??
At the same time my heart went out for Piya too as she deeply loves him and has accepted him as her husband with her heart and soul so, it was disappointing to see that she wanted them to be closer while he didn't. Any woman in her place would've felt rejected and disappointed like her. I can't wait to see the part when they can reveal their true feelings to each other.
@ red this is how a true gentleman should behave, whether its love or arrange marriage! it doesnt matter!
i believe a man forcing himself even on his rightful wife is not a man at all!, its like he has legally raped her! he is just a big EWWWW!
about you cousin its really sad and it breaks my heart that even after all theses years she didn't get over it! and can you blame her! i mean most of us girls dream of this special day and comes a jerk who behaves like an animal and ruin it all, its just heartbreaking and is very horrible!
your cousin at least coped with the situation better then a lady who is a relative of mine, she got married 20 years ago and his husband although being very well educated and all, literary raped her like a true villain shutting of her mouth and all!, after few months she got divorced of him by a law order as he wasn't willing to divorce her! and till day she didn't get married again!
@bold thats really sad!..what kind of mentality is that? seriously ! hell they do!, what about the woman doesn't she has feelings! or maybe they consider her insignificant!
i am sure there are plenty guys like him, who are so caring and loving hopfully we get our hands on them soon too
@purple, you got it perfectly, yes she already accepted him and she is confused and hurt now of why he is rejecting her !
well you have to wait and read to find out how it will work out
thank you so much for your wonderful reply, they always manage to work like brain teasers, and open doors for some one on one discussions
@Purple: I agree, just becuz, he is her husband doesn't mean he can do whatever he wants, I mean they have a whole lifetime together to share with, he could've at least given her sometime to develop feelings for him and when they become more closer.
And I completely, agree with you that for many girls, they have big dreams for this special night and they want to be with someone they love. I think there's no passion in it if there's no genuine love.
@Orange: I felt disgusted about what happened to your relative. God! That is just horrifying. Even if its a husband forcing his wife, I still consider that rape becuz, I don't care if they are lawfully wedded, forcing is still rape. I don't blame her for divorcing the him becuz, you lose that sense of respect for your husband becuz, you can't ever develop any feeling for him. The guy practically destroyed her life with that bitter experience which is probably why she didn't or couldn't marry again. I don't know if my cuzin's decision to stay in her marriage was wise decision or not, but,
my personal opinion, I think its very hard to continue your relationship with someone you have no respect or love for.
@You got that right! I know many societies have this mentality. This is probably one reason why I hate going to my family functions becuz, I have all these aunties and some random ladies grabbing me and exclaiming, "OMG, you are so pretty.......you were this little when I saw you and now look at you all grown up" and blah blah blah.......the usual cliched lines. When this conversation starts, I know where the heck they are getting at........and BOOM! There it goes that famous line to my mom which goes, "Have you started searching a boy for her, you should get her married. AHHHHHHHHHHHHhh
I mean the fact if a girl is unmarried and grown, the only thing that goes on in their mind is MARRIAGE, and they treat a girl like she is a property meant to be with a guy which you are just dying to sell as fast as you can and if they don't then the market value might go down! LOL
I mean what if she isn't ready, what is she has career plans, what if she wants to find one herself..........oops, that might just give them a heart attack!
@Green: I liked Sid in the initial days.......before Armaan's entry, how he didn't force himself on her, in his wedding night, But, after a while I do agree his character got to nonsense and dumb. Even though, his wife was standing there in front of him in a lingerie waiting for him to seduce her, the dumb idiot goes, "its okay you still need time!" LOL I mean I remember her saying to him that she did it out of her own will, it wasn't like he was forcing her and he still always thought that she needed time even after 7 whole months and marrying the same woman twice out of her own will again! And then when she got with her ex in the end, he give her thumbs up sign!
And ofcourse, I meant the Abhay in your one-shots He is more romantic and friendlier than the one in the serial.
@Red: Yeah, I know there must be guys like them and I definitely do hope that we both get our dream guys. Its just the guys I have seen are just so weird! Like for instance if I go to any parties and there are indian guys there. They stand there are and just stare at you.........(No not the "affectionate or dreamy" stare heroes do in shows/movies) these guys will stare at you hungrily like they have never seen a girl as if they have an x-ray vision. It gives you this urge to just want to smack them like hell! Becuz, you know they are perverts inside!
Edited by lighteningbuzz - 06 January 2011 at 3:58am