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Weekend Retreat 4 Nivren Psychosis Syndrome sn8pg7 (Page 4)

mittusingh Senior Member
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Joined: 19 November 2010
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Posted: 18 December 2010 at 8:16pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by suchitra_1

Weekend Retreat Special
A cure for NivRen Psychosis Syndrome -Fans
 
 
Scene 1
 
How long does it take to fall in love? A month? A year? Or may be a second? No one knows the answer to this question. The journey to one's heart is a travel that is beloved to many but only few are successful in crossing the rapids of emotions with proper control.
 
Niveditha, chalo na meray saat? Viren said to nivi dragging her by her arm.
Viren, chodo mujhe, kahan le ker ja rahe ho. Dekho mujhe bohot kaam hai. Abhi tho khana bhi nahi bana ..
ouch ' she almost tripped on her foot and bumped into viren.
Dekha.. ! ithni jaldi bhi kya hai..?

Sometimes she could not understand the childlike behavior of viren. There was nothing else she could do, except to just follow
 
Acha ok, sorry, chalo please, ek min ke liye aur uskay baad chali jana.. said viren trying to convince her.
 
They entered their room..


Han tho abh kaho, nivi asked with her hands on her hips .

Viren then took her by her hand and made her sit on the bed. He then sat besides her and then smiled.

Nivi looked at him curiously and a bit exasperated.

Viren took her hands into his. Her soft hands could feel the roughness of his skin. It sent a tingling feeling onto her spine. She felt such , many a times, but would never make her face express it.
Nivedita, .. Viren said to her now seriously looking into her eyes.


Han bolo viren, she could sense that , now the matter was not something of light nature but what was to follow had to be of grave importance.
 
Nivedita.. he continued '

Mujhe kuch kehnha hai thumsey.


Nivi could see the contracted eyebrows and all her restlessness to leave the room left her. She was paying complete attention to him now..
 
Kuch hua hai kya?

After taking a long sigh

Niveditha.. main bore ho raha hun. Mujhsey baatain karo na?


He snorted after saying that and starting laughing earnestly.

Nivi's seriousness was gone in an instant and her face was turning red with annoyance.
She quickly took her hands away from his grasp.

Kya? Thum mujhe ye kehnay ke liye yahan per laye thay? Kya viren, thumb hi na. Mujhe ithna

kaam pada hai aur thum ho ki. Replied Nivi, totally frustrated.

Are maine kya keh diya kit hum ithni naraaz ho rahi ho.

Viren smiled at her and took her hands onto his again, holding it tighter now.

Mujhe thumsey baat kerni thi , bus.

Viren haath choro.. Nivi tried to take her hands away from his grasp and failed.

She tried to tug it away one more time but couldn't.

Acha bolo kya baat kerni hai.. she said defeated.
 
Viren looked at her and smirked loosening the grip of his hold a bit.

Taking advantage of the moment nivi quickly tugged away her hand form his graps and made a run for it.

Laughing at viren and his surprised look , she retorted back

Baray aye mujsey baat kernay walay..

Niveditha, ! cried viren

His face resembled that of a child who just dropped the top of ice cream from his cone.

Acha main bhi dekhtha hun ki aaj thum mujhe avoid kithni dair tak karogi. Had hothi hai yaar!
He got up determined and started rubbing his hands.
 
 
Mission - Cupid on the roll


Hello.... u r too good with words and imagination....u got me into the illusion of the scene.... Very well done and will look forward to reading the next scenes!!! THANKS!!

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shana_83Suchi-

AnamikaSJain IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 18 December 2010 at 9:19pm | IP Logged
Nice to see you back to normal and back with the Weekend Retreat. Loved it so far...

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Posted: 18 December 2010 at 9:52pm | IP Logged

Scene 5

Niveditha, and vandana were almost done with their cooking. Vandana kept on throwing glances at nivi. She could see that niveditha was very disturbed. Vandana did try to ask her about what was bothering her but didn't know how to begin.

Ma ! hum vapis aa gaye! came the voice of Divya.

 

Her voice was much more light hearted.

Nivi'main madad ker dun? Lao mujhe de do said divya while taking the hotpot from nivi's hands.

Ma..main jaker isye dining table per rakh ker aathi hun. Divya continued..

Vandana who was more than happy with the sudden mood change of divya, nodded in agreement and gave her a smile.

Nivi stood staring at divya. It was as if a heavy mountain was lifted of her heart. She felt extremely relieved. She watched her older sister leave and turned to look at vandana.


Vandana was happy that the smile on Nivi's face had returned. She knew that it was only viren who could do that.


Chachi, main bhi di ki madad kerthi hun, said nivi with complete enthusiasm.


Vandana, nivi and divya set up the entire table.


Nivi, Divya abh jao viren aur sidharth ko bula lao . Main  baki sabh ko bula lathi hun. Nandu ! Nandu.. abh ye kahan chala gaya. Said vandana.


Nivi abh jao aur le ker aao. Mujhe ye samaj nahi atha ki thum use kis tarah jhelthi ho. Main tho uskay saath 30 min main hi tang par gayi'uff.. Divya said holding nivi's hand.


She then rushed off towards Sid's room. She did not want to make the situation awkward by letting nivi talk or to give her a chance to ask her about the conversation she had at the restaurant with viren.


Nivi just stared at divya, and then rushed off towards her room to find viren.


Viren! Viren kahan ho..called nivi.


Viren who was standing at the window , changed for the evening, smiled , and turned around.


Viren! Suno na.. called nivi again.


Viren ignored her and started meddling with his flute.


Acha teek hai sorry, abh tho suno.. nivi pleaded.


Di ka mood kaise badal diya? ' batao na pleaseeee.. nivi continued pleading.


Viren who was enjoying this , continued ignoring her and started clearing his throat as if to speak.

Nivi waited for a couple of moments and when she realized that viren was not going to talk, she touched his shoulders


Viren , batao na please.


Viren , who was happy that nivi actually made a physical gesture, immediately turned around


Wow! Kya lucky din hai. Meri biwi nay mujhe pehli baar, apni merzi say chua. Viren said..


Nivi face flushed and she removed her hands immediately.


Viren's face was lit up with excitement and he grabed her hands immediately


Teekh hay bataunga lekin ek sharth per..


Konsi sharth said nivi. Her eyebrows meeting


Voh tho thumhay abhi thori dair main pata chal jayega.. replied viren mischievously.


Viren! Nivi, kahan reh gaye thum dono' jaldi aao khana lag gaya hai.


Came vandana's voice echoing through the hallway.

 

Oh viren chalo, main tho yahi kehnay aayi thi, she said only to realize that her hands were safely secure in his hands.

Abh kya aap meray haath chornay ki takleef karengay!

 

Haath ? ---- konsay haath ? replied viren!

Ye walay ,said nivi, raising her hands which were clasped in his, up to his chest.

Oh of course, grinned viren,

 ok  chalo. Viren he said letting go of her.


Nivi and viren both walked towards the dinner table to find , Sid, Divya , Vandana, already sitting.

Viren and nivi sat besides each other.


Taiji, mom aur dad kahan hai? Viren asked Vandana.

Voh bahar kisi friend kay ghar gaye hain, Shayad dair sey lautengay. Replied vandana.


Aur dada dadiji? Viren asked

Bauji ka khana unkay kamre main bej diya hai aur ma chahthi thi ki voh unkay saat dinner karay vandana said.


Chalo hum tho dinner kerthay hain' she indicated passing a bowl filled with steaming soup towards him.

Divya served Sid


Sidharth , aaj main aur viren coffee penay gaye thay. It was such a nice change said divya


Hmm.. really ! smiled sidharth. Tho aaj devar bhabi nay khoobh aish kiya kiyun? Sid replied back with a smile.

Of course replied viren returning back the gesture with an equally radiant smile.


Divya became elated seeing this and continued sipping her soup.


Niveditha please muhhe bread pass karo asked viren.

While nivi moved towards the bread basket, viren caught hold of her right hand and placed it firmly under his left hand.

Nivi jerked suddenly towards him and shockingly looked at him only to see that viren was calmly sipping his soup.

Vandana passed the basket to her and pointed it towards viren.

 

Nivi started struggling to get her hands free , but every time she would pull it tighter, viren would tighten his grip.

Viren' she whispered. Ye kya ker rahe ho thum? Please mera haat choro mujhe khana , khana hai said nivi with a fearful tone.

 

Han tho khao na.. replied viren loudly.


At this Sid, Divya  and vandana looked up at them.

Kya hua viren? Asked vandana.


Kuch nahi chachiji , nivi quickly replied to divert their attention .


Are nivi thum kuch kha kiyun nahi rahi ho asked vandana.


Chachi ji main kha lungi , replied nivi still struggling to get her hands freed.


Niveditha kya hua? Sidharth too was now showing interest to the situation and then was joined by divya,


Nivi, kha kiyun nahi rahi ho. 


Nivi who was becoming conscious with every question was turning cold. She could have started to eat with her left hand but that would make the situation too obvious.


Nothing else to say she just looked down trying to think of some sort of response when she felt that her hand was free. She looked at viren with a shocked expressions , who was eating carelessly enjoying each and every single morsel , as if it would be the last  of his life.


Vah , tasty, continued viren , licking all five fingers on his hand.


Are nivi thum kuch khathi kiyun nahi. Its ok mujhe pata hai ki pati kay baad khana hi patni ka dharm hai lekin , honestly I don't mind


Replied viren breaking a loaf and passing it to nivi.


Nivi was looking draggers at viren. Frustration etching all around her face she turned her plate around to notice a small piece of paper.


Niveditha quickly looked up to see that everyone was busy talking with each other.

She then read the note, it said...


Ghustakhi maaf' : )



Niveditha's heart was racing as she read through the words, yet there was a sudden instill of calmness in her.


She slowly clutched the paper into her fists and started to pour the curry onto her plate.


After eating a morsel she peaked a glance at viren , who then slowly put his two fingers on his ear lobe and mouthed

"sorry"


Nivi despite of wanting to remain angry -could not stifle a smile. She quickly then turned away and continued finishing the dinner.



Edited by suchitra_1 - 18 December 2010 at 10:00pm

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Posted: 18 December 2010 at 10:04pm | IP Logged
Suchitra, just mindblowing.ClapClapClap
Scene 4 was excellent, the way Viren handled the situation. Atleast in your retreat people are using brains.
 
Scene 5, what can I write. Bada Badmash hai apna Viren. The whole scen I had smile on my face. Hope we get to see something like this in the serial.
 
Thanks dear for doing this for us, I just came online to check on your post.
 
 

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prajeeshana_83Shayafangmann2010AnamikaSJainSuchi-

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Posted: 18 December 2010 at 10:13pm | IP Logged
Finally Nivren, DivSid, and Vandana alone on DT without CC, YD and JW. Yepieeeeeeeeee.. Thanks Suchi you made my day, or should I say night.Wink I like your version of Nivi much better, she is comfortable with Viren and matches up to Viren's wit. DT scene was fabulous reminded me of movie Aaina. Smile

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Posted: 18 December 2010 at 10:52pm | IP Logged

Suchi you are just a magician you made timid shy Nivi a bold and witty Nivi but she can't escape Viren sood magic can she. Lovely part specially hand holding at dining table.

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Posted: 18 December 2010 at 11:49pm | IP Logged
wow suchi.....that was amazing....so glad to see the retreat back.....keep up the great work....

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Posted: 19 December 2010 at 12:05am | IP Logged

Scene 6

It was 8:00 PM, Nivi , divya and vandana were putting away the dishes after dinner.

Nivi, us note main kya likha tha? divya who was standing close by asked.

Startled by this remark, nivi looked at divya trying really hard to keep a straight face.

Konsi note di? She replied looking away ..

Acha bano math, maine hi voh note vahan rakhi thi, lekin han viren nay mujhe parnay sey mana kiya tha , so maine nahi para. Lekin thum batadona , asked Divya, raising her eyebrows with a smirk on her face,

Kiya likha tha? she asked again with a small giggle.

Vandana who was noticing this, approached slowly behind the girls and said

Kya khusr pusur chal raha hai dono behnon main , zara main bhi tho sunun.

 

Kuch nahi ma,

Kuch nahi chachi,

Both of them replied together with a startled tone

 

Are, batao na, mujhe bhi tho hasnay ka mauka mile.. vandana said, while putting away left over food in the refrigerator.

Divya nudged nivi on her shoulders and said,

Kiyun , batadun'

Di, chup karo, replied nivi in a hushed tone..

Divya continued giggling

Chalo abh thum dono jao , baki ka kaam ho jayega said vandana'

As divya and nivi turn to go vandana says,

Waise nivi, us note main kya likha tha..

Divya looks at vandana shockingly and starts laughing out loud. Both vandana and divya share a hearty laugh while nivi who turned bright red could barely match their eyes out of embarrassment.

Cha'cha chachi main jathi hun saying this nivi walks away from the kitchen leaving both the mother and daughter behind laughing.

 ====================================

Nivi enters the room to find viren lying on the sofa, reading, comfortably, with a book in his hand.

Viren! Thumnay di kay saat ye sabh kuch plan kiya tha? she asked with a commanding voice.

Kya plan? Konsa plan.. kya hua niveditha. Viren asks with an innocent look on his face yet his eyes twinkled mischievously. 

Chup karo, pata hai vahan chachiji nay bhi dekh liya tha. Aur di bhi baar baar puch rahi thi ki kya likha tha note main, nivi continued with a hint of bossiness in her tone.

Ok , ok.. I am sorry. Maine hi bhabi ko kaha tha ki voh note wahan rakh de, said viren.

Acha ye thumnay aur di nay milker plan kiya tha , yahi baat ker rahe the kya bahar? .. nivi asked

Just then she realized that she had forgotten what they talked about, and what was that , viren said, which calmed divya to such an extent -that she was willing to help him.

 

Viren, who was looking at nivi realized that she was about to ask him about his and divya's meeting, went back to his reading.

 

Viren, thumnay kaha tha na ki batogay. Di ka mood kaise teek ho gaya.

Viren looked up at her and got off the sofa. He placed his book on the shelf and slowly walked towards her.

He then held her hand slowly, nudged her indicating her to sit besides him on the sofa.

Thum kush ho ki bhabi ka mood teek ho gaya hai? Asked viren looking into her eyes.

Han viren, meri tho jaan main jaan aa gayi hai. Mujhe bohot pareshani ho rahi thi ki main di ko kya jawab dungi, unkay sawalon ka , unki narazgi ka. Mujeh kuch samaj nahi aa raha tha.

Viren , lekin thumnay kaha kya? Di bilkul pehlay jaise ho gayi hai ..

Nivi asked viren, then she looked at him with sudden suspicion, but the thought had disappeared as soon as it came.

 

Maine bhabi ko kuch nahi bataya nivi, yahi soch rahi ho na thum? Viren asked.

 

Main janthi hun viren, lekin main janna chahthi hun ki thumharay beech kya baat hui thi. Nivi asked

 

Teek hai , main batataha hun, said viren suddenly returning back to his chirpy behavior, lekin maine kaha tha na ki sharth hai.

Konsi sharth, nivi asked

Sharth ye hai' ki' main jo bhi kahunga , thumnay kerna hoga.. viren asked looking at her.

Viren glanced at niveditha , trying to catch a disapproval on her face but to this surprise  he saw nothing of that sort. NIveditha was looking down but he could read the lines on her face. They were not that of worry or anger

 

Teekh hay, nivi replied. The words seem to come out of her mouth without her approval.

 

Viren who was shocked at her response , came to his senses.

Main kuch bhi keh saktha hun, he said with a soft voice.

Nivi, who just understood the gravity of the approval she had given, looks up at viren. Her thoughts clustered , yet, wandering aimlessly, finding reasons to escape the situation.

Her heart was raging with emotions but her mind remained miraculously calm. Wasn't Viren the person whom she trusted the most? Then why is she worrying? Reasoned her mind. Yet her heart knew the truth. The consequences that might occur '

It wasn't easy to ignore someone like Viren. She had found herself being pulled towards him, towards his immense love many times, only to fight it off. There was no more room for love. Her mending heart had refused to allow such emotions enter into it.

 

Viren could sense the battle within her'

He then went on to narrate everything that had occurred between him and divya earlier that day.

Nivi's worries were slowly being put to rest. She knew that viren was the only one who understood her agony and today , yet again, Viren had proved himself worthy of her trust.

She felt content and happy that, the person she trusts the most, knows how important Di was to her.

There were tears gleaming from her eyes,

Viren, ' thanks !

Thumhay nahi pata ki thumnay mujhe, aaj kya diya hai.

Thanks viren!..meri di ko wapis lautanay ke liye.

Nivi felt overwhelmed by viren's gesture.

 

Viren looked at her , once again took her hands and said,

Niveditha, maine kaha than a thumsey, main thumhay thumsey zyada jantha hun. Thum pareshan ho , ya main kaise dekh saktha hun.

Niveditha , continued looking into his eyes.

 

Only if you knew niveditha, only if you felt what I am feeling Cried viren to himself.  



Edited by suchitra_1 - 19 December 2010 at 12:09am

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