"The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart."
Josiah G. Holland
Misery etched on her face, Arpita runs to the doorway, to escape the hurt and pain from knowing that she was not enough to sway her husband from his pratigya.
Avdesh looks at her, sadness in his face and eyes. He looks inward and remembers all that his wife had done for him, when he turned her world upside down by getting shot....she had gone over and beyond his own expectation and sadness intensified in him....Forgive me, Arpita..you have done so much for me, stood by me forgiving my mistakes...but I can't do anything for you...forgive me...Avdesh's eyes shimmer with unshed tears as he realised exactly how helpless he was to give back the love Arpita showers on him constantly...how dismal a husband and lover he was at the moment. The pain was unbearable and he closed his eyes as if to shut the world out.
At the doorway, Arpita silently wept. Her only outlet for the grief inside her. Even then she tries to wipe them away lest it causes her husband pain....Avdesh comes up behind her...Arpita, you have done so much for me and in return, I keep hurting you..it's because of Lal Singh..what's happened has happened...all I want to say is please forgive me...I can't see you in pain...because of Lal Singh -...
Arpita swallows repeatedly at Avdesh's words, her chest heaving with the force of her feelings...Lal Singh!...Lal Singh!..she spits out in anger ...how long will our life burn because of your need for revenge against Lal Singh?..Is there no end?!..Avdesh whirls away, anger radiating from his body at being questioned..his tone hard as stone he replies..there is an end..with Lal Singh's death...
"Can there be a love which does not make demands on its object?" Confucius
Arpita came around him and earnestly tried to show him the truth..after all that happened, you are still talking about revenge?..Her need to make her husband understand the severity of his situation and the precariousness of life fell on deaf ears... Avdesh was determined that nothing will stop him from fulfilling his vow, his angry eyes bored a hole in Arpita as he accused her that if his oath got in the way of her wanting an easy and comfortable life, paining her....Arpita looked incredulous! hurt shining in her eyes....my comfort?... mine?......you think I am only thinking about myself?!..Avdeshji, I am your wife..it is my duty to be with you every step of the way.. Avdesh interrupts angrily, body tense...then be with me, fulfil your wifely duty! why worry and hurt me?..and besides whether Lal Singh lives or dies what difference does it make to you?...
You are right, it makes no difference whether that man lives or dies but you make a difference to me...your pain makes a difference to me, whether you are safe or not makes a difference to me...I don't care about the world...because you are my world..Arpita's tearful words fall between them, glowing in their vividness...she slowly touched him with one hand, the other going to his hair and stroking it..her face soft and loving...I just want you to live..I can't bear to see you struggling between life and death...I can't bear to see you get burnt because of your need for revenge...that is why it makes a difference to me ...your current situation is because of your need for vengence and there is no end to that..She touches his wound, the red blood stained dark a stark reminder of his perlious health...she looks up as her face crumples, tears streaking her face..I can't lose you!..I can't lose you..I just can't...She hugs him tightly, her body trembling with the force of her feeling and fears...Avdesh is stunned and silent. His anger wiped away by the truth of her words, the love behind it melting his darkness...His face was worried and sad...the girl in his arms was his world, just as he was her world..and that scared him for at present he had very little hope to give her or to reassure her. The one thing she was desperately asking for. He finally hugs her back, tight, and leans onto her.
The next morning, Avdesh wakes up first. He see's his sleeping wife and he takes his fill of her, his face softening at her restful slumber. As he moved to get up, she wakes up and stops him. Hearing that he was going to get food for her, she scolds him lovingly, her tone wifely and very assertive. It was her duty to feed him, whether in the house or outside..he was too weak and needed rest. Her cheerful words bring a hint of smile to Avdesh's lips even as he worries about the police but Arpita was determined to do this for her husband. As she leaves, Avdesh looks at her bemused....his expression awed that this brave girl was his wife, that his comfort and wellbeing was foremost on her mind...as he sat back, he knew he was the luckiest man alive.
This episode saw a turning point in Avdesh. He knew what his wife wanted from him, to end his vengence. Though he did not give a response either way he wasn't as volatile as he once was at the thought. To my mind, that his his first baby step towards the possibility of reformation. To paraphrase 'that is one small step for man, a giant leap for Avdesh Singh Thakur'...
Arpita has definitely burrowed her way into Avdesh's heart and made a place for herself, for eternity. As I said before, her innocence and open heart is her biggest asset. There is no deceit, no selfish gains, no other motive except because Avdesh was her life. Her world. In that situation, who would not fight passionately to keep their world safe and at peace?..Each time she broached the topic of his lifestyle Avdesh reacts aggressively because he feels guilty and cornered, however, each time with her sweetness and a whole load of love...she wipes it away, without each tearing the others heart out...And he accepts her right to do so and talk to him like that. He also listens, taking it all in, keeping her words safe in his heart. When the time is right, he will take them out and put them to use. to make her proud, to give her something back.
As for Arpita, I loved her speech at the doorway. She put her point across very well, negating his half hearted words about why he could not fulfil his husbandly duties...The ring of truth in her words filled his heart to the brim, leaving him with a struggle, more and more Arpita is becoming his biggest and sole consideration. That conversation as all that they could not express while living at the haveli and it was also their first argument.
The next morning, she showed her own assertive side and if the little smile on Avdesh's lips was anything, he too enjoyed being bossed around by his Arpita. And I am sure he was counting his blessing at having her for his wife. There is no other for him. Or for her.
Now we will see how deep they merge their lives together. They are one heart in two bodies, both accept that. Their decisions and actions affect each other, they know. From now on, Avdesh will hesitate once in a while as Arpita's words swirl around his heart, giving him hope and encouragement. Arpita for her part, will walk step by step and hand in hand with Avdesh. He is her world and nothing else makes any difference to her at all. To keep him safe and alive, she will step into a world that was never of her own inclination at all. Love will lead her there....and love will show her the way out as well.
So do let me know your thoughts on this as well.
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