Pavitra Rishta


Pavitra Rishta
Pavitra Rishta

Track for January 2011's 1st Week

Archanafan Senior Member

Joined: 01 October 2010
Posts: 270

Posted: 17 December 2010 at 10:04pm | IP Logged

Possible Track for January 2011's 1st Week


Manav, Archana and Sulochana are out in the bazaar. It's about 7:30 pm and its dark, as they walk by the shops with shopping bags in their hands. All 3 are in a happy mood, Manav tells Sulochana that he will carry all her bags for her so she can walk comfortably, Sulochana smiles appreciatingly at him.

Then Manav spots a gajra-walla across the street. He tells them both to stay where they are so he can keep an eye on them both. After the attack on Archu, he's not taking any risks with losing her. He goes across and purchases 2 gajras and thinks that he will tie one in Archana's hair and the other he will give to Manohar to tie in Sulochana Ayi's hair. He thought it would be a cute gesture.

Just as he is paying for them, a large black car with tinted windows draws up near Archana and tries to pull her in. Her shopping bags fall to the floor, she starts screaming Manav's name, he can't hear over the car noises. Sulochana is terrified and starts screaming "Manav! Manav! Bachao! Arre, koi hai? Bachao!" He hears her and runs toward the black car.

Archana puts up a fight and her body is half way into the car and the other half is out of the car because Sulochana Ayi is pulling at Archana's torso with her full strength to keep her out of the car. Then a man gets out the front seat saying, "Yeh Ma beti aisey nahin manegi, dono ko le chalo, chal budiya, tu bhi chal!"

He roughly pushes Sulochana into the car with Archana and they are both screaming Manav's name. Manav recognizes the man who pushed Sulochana into the car; it was Jaywant's friend who took the fall for him and went to jail for him when fake money was found in Jay's house and the cops arrived, the one he had seen talking to Jaywant in his office.

Then Archana rolls down the window from her side and shows her face to Manav, he sees her and yells frantically, "Mein araha hu!" But he's too late, other cars get in his way, and the black car speeds off into the distance, breaking a red light and almost getting hit by another car.

Manav is totally distraught, but he memorizes the license plate number of the car from behind and immediately calls Ajit. Ajit is shocked and tells him this is the work of only one person – Jaywant. Manav then calls the police to give the plate number and then he rushes home to Manohar. Manju and Vinod are at a party and out of the house.

Manohar hears the news and sits down with a thud on the chair. Manav tells him that he shouldn't worry and that he knows who is behind this, and that he identified the man who pushed Ayi into the car; it was none other that Jaywant's cohort whom he had seen with him before at work. Manohar, a heart patient, is sick to his stomach. Manav tells him that he knows a way to find both Archana and Ayi and promises Manohar that: "Baba, mujhpe vishwas rakhiye, Bapa aur Sai Baba ki kasam, mein Ayi aur Archana ko kuch nahin honey doonga, yeh mera apse vadaa hai."

Manav then meets with Ajit and they decide that the only way to find out where they took Archana and Sulochana is to locate the man Manav saw come out of the front seat and pushed Sulochana into the vehicle, because she wouldn't let go of her daughter. Ajit says that he knows a man who knows pretty much every scoundrel in the underworld and they can ask him, but it would be risky going there. Manav says: "Us car mein meri jaan hai, meri jaan chali gayi, tou zinda rehne ka kya faida? Archana ke bina mein tou ek zinda laash hu. Le jao mujhe aur abhi, issi vaqt."

They end up in a seedy part of town that Ajit knew from his unsavory past. They meet the man who sits in a smoke filled room. They tell him what happened and he says that he knows who they're looking for. He also knows Jaywant, who he says another big goonda is after Jaywant and very, very mad at him, due to unpaid gambling debts. Jaywant also owes him money but he keeps slipping through his fingers, so if they can get Jaywant for him, he will tell them where the other guy lives. Manav and Ajit say, it's a deal. They get the guy's address from him and walk out, promising to deliver Jaywant to him.

The black car drives far out of the city and finally stops in an abandoned flour mill at the outskirts of town. The men roughly pull Archana and Sulochana out of the car and lead them into a cellar, with the petrified mother and daughter hugging each other as they walk where they are led. The man behind them pushes them and says: "Arre, jaldi chalo, na!" They are taken to a room where it is dark and are placed in two chairs facing a door. The masked goon ties their hands and tapes their mouths. Sulochana is crying but before they tape Archana's mouth, she tells her, "Ayi, tum chinta mat karo, dekhna Bapa Manav ko bhejenge aur…" he tapes her mouth shut. Tears keep falling from Sulochana's eyes. She feels guilty because it was her idea to leave the house that day and go shopping. If only they'd have stayed home that day like Manav said and watched cricket on TV, as Manohar and Manav like to do. After the man ties them up, he shuts the light and exits the room.

Then a man walks in and shuts and locks the door behind him. He makes a beeline toward Archana who can't see his face due to darkness, but they recognize his voice. Jaywant: "Meiney kaha tha tumhein Archana, mein tumhein raani banake rakhta, lekin tumhari zid aur us Manav ki begharati…mere sarey sapno pe pani pher diya. Mujhe dhoka deneka kya natija hota hai, janti ho? Ab dekhoto, tumhari Ayi bhi phas gai mere jaal mein, aur yeh sab tumhari vajey sey hua. Meiney tou sirf tumhey kidnap karne ka order diya, lekin tumhari Ayi ka pyar unhe yahan tak kheech layi, wah, Ayi ho to aisi." He laughs at Sulochana. Sulochana fumes.

"Archana, na tum mandap sey bhaagti, na tum us do takke ke unpad mechanic se shaadi karti, aur nay eh bura din dekhna padta. Agar tum meri nahi ho saki, tou tum kissi ki nahin hogi. Ab dekho mein tumharey saath kya karta hoon. Achha hai, Ayi ko bhi dekhne do. Shaadi ke baad tou tumhey badchalan ka khitab dekar talaq denehi wala tha, bahut sukoon milta mujhe, tumhey badnaam hotey dekhkar saari duniya ke samne. Tumhari Ayi ko tou bahut taklif hoti, hai na Ayi? Tum chati tou Archana to us din rok sakti thi yeh keher jo panda wala hai aaj raat, par nahin, tum bhi gunehgaar ho, Ayi.

He switches on a light which hurts their eyes. The light being turned on catches Manav and Ajit's attention from the outside. They go around the back and find a window through which they get a clear view of what's happening, and since the window is broken, they can hear, too. Jaywant turns around for a second and mother and daughter get a glimpse of a revolver strapped on his back.

Jaywant: "Ab Archana, tum agar jeena chati ho aur apni Ayi ko bhi zinda rakhna chati ho, tou ek bahut asaan rasta hai, bilkul painless. Tum divorce papers pe abhi ke abhi sign karogi aur Manav ko hamesha ke liye alvida kehdogi. Uske bad, kal, tumhari aur meri shaadi hogi yaheen, is jaga pe. Phir tum aur mein Delhi chalejaenge hamesha ke liye. Maanta hoon, yeh jaga shaadi ki rasam ke liye romantic tou hai nahin, lekin tumne mujhe koi chara bhi tou nahin diya. Mein abhi aaya papers leke…"

Archana and Sulochana give each other terrified looks, wondering if Manav will make it there on time. Archana tells herself that she'd rather die than divorce Manav, but she was so worried about her Ayi. She thinks to hesrelf "Manav, kahan ho tum? Kahan ho, Manav?"

Meanwhile, Manav and Ajit reach the address on the chit of paper they got from the other goonda who struck a deal with them. They wait for him and hide. He arrives at about 1:30 am, drunk and on the phone with someone. He goes into his house and Manav and Ajit jump him from behind and shut the door and lock it. They ask him where they took their family, he, as usual, pretends he knows nothing. Manav sees an empty beer bottle on the table, he picks it up and breaks it in half, his eyes are red with wrath and his heart is beating fast. Ajit keeps a close eye on him to make sure things don't get out of hand, as Manav is very emotional. "Bataa, bataa haramzadeh, nahin tou yahin tera gala kat doonga! Meiney tujhe dekhliye us car mein, tuney meri Ayi ko dhakka mara aur car mein legaya…jooth mat bol, mera bheja garam ho gaya to aaj raat teri khair nahin…yahin ka yahin dher kardoonga, saley…" Ajit tells the guy that Manav was sent to prison for killing two guy once and that finishing him off will be no big deal for him.

The guy spits out the address because Manav was a little too close to his jugular with the broken bottle and looking very menacing. Manav says: "Mein mar jaoon, tou mar jaoon, lekin tujhe nahin chhodoonga, toujhe aaj Yamraj ke darshan karake hi choodoonga…"

Ajit and Manav make sure this guy doesn't tip Jaywant off so they tie him up, tape his mouth and take his cell with them. They call Tarun, borrow Tarun's car and take off for this location. The two reach there, turn their car headlights off and park their car far from the old flour mill. They walk to the place so as to not be detected.

There is no one in sight, no cars, no people, only the moonlight. Manav feels like he is too late or that something bad must have already happened to Archana and Ayi. Ajit tells him to think positive thoughts and to have shraddha on Bapa. Then they hear some men talking. They go toward the voices and recognize one of them is Jaywant's. It seems that there are only two men there, Jaywant and another guy. The car that he saw is gone. They make their way to the cellar, as that's where the voices are coming from. The door is shut but they both can hear what's being said inside. They walk back up and find a broken cellar window and discover Sulochana and Archana, bound up in chairs.

Archana looks up at the broken window and sees Manav, he puts his index finger to his lips and signals that she must keep quiet. Archana breathes a sigh of relief. She looks at her mother and then at the broken window, Sulochana sees Manav and can't believe her eyes, internally she thanks Bapa for sending help.

Jaywant is still out of the room. Manav sees a large iron crowbar on the ground and asks Ajit to help him into the cellar, Ajit whispers that they can't make a noise so they remove the entire window frame and Manav jumps in, Ajit hands him the crowbar and Manav hides behind some old furniture. Just then, Jaywant walks in with the documents and put them on a table. Archana and Sulochana pretend like nothing has happened.

He comes over to Archana and unties her hands and feet, but keeps her mouth taped shut. Then he takes out his gun and points to the papers and asks her to sign them, handing her a pen. She is reluctant, but knows Manav is steadily creeping up behind Jaywant, so she buys Manav some time and pretends like she doesn't want to sign. Jaywant raises his gun and put it to her temple and yells at her to sign.

By this time Manav has raised the heavy iron crowbar above Jaywant's head and it comes down on him hard on the back of his head. The blow doesn't kill him, but knocks him unconscious. Manav quickly removes the tape from Archana's mouth and runs to untie Sulochana Ayi. Both women are sobbing uncontrollably and Ajit shouts from the window that the cops are on their way; he had called them just a few seconds ago and gave them address. Sulochana and Archana are both hugging Manav and Sulochana tells Manav what a mistake she made in not realizing the goodness of Manav's heart and for treating him badly all those times.

She also apologizes to both of them and to Archana she says: "Archu, mein bahut galat thi, bahut galat. Jis aadmi ko meney itna kuch kaha, mara, aaj usne meri jaan bachai. Yehi nahin, meri Archu ki jaan bachai, jo meri nazaron mein meri jaan sey bhi zyaada keemti hai. Manav, beta, jitni bhi maafi magu, kam hai, ajsey tum mere bete ho, yeh mein dil ki gehraiyon sey kehrahi hu. Janti hu ke tumharey pass Ayi hai, lekin mujhe bhi tumhari Ayi banne ka moka dogey? Mujhe garv hoga."

Manav says he has always considered her his Ayi. The cops come and look at Jaywant. Ajit comes in and says to the inspector that this was a case of self-defense and show them Jaywant's gun, which happened to be stolen. Jaywant is taken away on a stretcher and the four of them reach home safe and sound.

At home Manohar is worried sick and when they arrive, he is elated to see his wife and daughter safe and unharmed. Just them Manju who has returned from the party, comes out from inside and starts telling off Manav. "Manav, yeh mein kya sun rahi hoon? Yeh sab tumhari laparvahi ke vajesey hua, kya zaroorat thi in dono ko shopping le jane ki? Unki jaan khatrey mein daal ke tumhey kya mila? Bolo? Bolo, Manav? Ab chup kyu ho? Bolte kyun nahin? Tum tou ek number ke…"

Sulochana walks up to her and slaps her right across the face, which shocks Manju. Then she tells her and Vinod what happened and how Manav saved their lives and how Ajit was a witness. She shows them the red rope marks on her and Archu's wrists. Manju stomps into her room and bangs the doors shut. Sulochana breaks down in Manohar's arms. Manav walks up to Archana and hugs her tight: "Kahin chot vot tou nahin lagi? Tum thik ho, na?" Archana: "Aapke hotey hue, mujhe kya ho sakta hai, Manav? Bapa ne aapko vakt pe bheja."

Then Ajit calls up the goonda who wanted to get his hands on Jaywant and tells him he is at the hospital and unconscious, and that he can send his men there to wait until he regains his senses and retrieve the cash from him. So, later Jaywant got some convivial visits from the goonda and the police, both of whom will now keep a close eye on him. The cops arrest Jaywant after he opens his eyes and wants to deny any charge, but knows he's safer in jail with the goonda around who wants to "talk" to him in private. So, he agrees to get arrested and agrees to the charges of kidnapping and attempting to assault two people with a deadly weapon. His mother refuses to bail him out and is mortified at her son's behavior.

More later. Hope you all enjoyed this track!

Gives our Manav a chance to be a real hero and puts an end to all those nasty gharjamai taunts.

The following 11 member(s) liked the above post:


nikitagmc IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 01 January 2009
Posts: 16304

Posted: 17 December 2010 at 10:38pm | IP Logged
Filmy... but I liked it! Good job!!!
Writer42 Goldie

Joined: 15 April 2010
Posts: 1199

Posted: 18 December 2010 at 9:55am | IP Logged
It's a great track because Manav would finally get to prove that Jaywant was bad choice for Archana and Manav would get to redeem himself in Vinod's eyes as a good husband and damaad, and in Archana's parents' eyes. Dharmesh and Manju would be left speechless and would have to shut up once and for all same goes for Archana's sisters. This should be a maha episode or it should  stretch over at least a couple of episodes.

His character would get a strong push as a hero and a protagonist as Archana's and Sulo's protector. Also he would be allowed to be extremely proactive as the hero of the show with Ajit acting as only his sidekick. He would dominate this track and would no longer be the meek Manav we as viewers have all come to get frustrated with from time to time. Great track idea Archana Fan. Kudos. 

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:


rohitkhosla Groupbie

Joined: 06 December 2010
Posts: 73

Posted: 18 December 2010 at 11:46am | IP Logged


Archanafan Senior Member

Joined: 01 October 2010
Posts: 270

Posted: 18 December 2010 at 2:23pm | IP Logged
Thanks Kaushakya Fan, I like how you use the word proactive...

the point of the serial is to show the male lead as a strong hero, and never wimpy, this track is presented in order to show how far Jaywant will go to destroy Archana and how far Manav will go to save not only her, but her Ayi.

Manav comes out looking great for what he does. Jaywant's threat to Mnav outside the K house is manifested in this track.

Badchalan, Jaywant's word for Archana, speaks volumes about him. And thinking about divorce even before marriage also says a bit about him...besides he has always been painted as the heel.

So, its about him getting even and Manav stopping him.

Didn't like the rape references above, left a bad taste in my mouth script-writing wise. We're trying to keep the serial PG, you see.

What do you think Kaushalya Fan?
Archanafan Senior Member

Joined: 01 October 2010
Posts: 270

Posted: 18 December 2010 at 2:35pm | IP Logged
Not likely to happen on this show. But we can all submit our ideas!

Edited by Archanafan - 18 December 2010 at 2:39pm
nycsweetie IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 08 March 2008
Posts: 11383

Posted: 18 December 2010 at 3:12pm | IP Logged
g8 idea
CatPooh2 Groupbie

Joined: 09 December 2009
Posts: 123

Posted: 19 December 2010 at 12:04pm | IP Logged
Hahahah i quite like the whole story esp the part wherein Archu comes back saying she is bearing Jaywant's child... Maybe my dream of Archu-Jaywant marriage could come true then :)

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