Writers Corner

   

Oneshot: Hollowed

Post Reply New Post

Page 1 of 1

act12

Goldie

act12

Joined: 27 December 2006

Posts: 1196

Posted: 17 December 2010 at 3:01pm | IP Logged
Hey guys, its my first attempt at a oneshot like this...well please do read and review...well here goes:
 
Hollowed
 

The passion rose as our bodies collided and our lips smashed into each other. The lust was evident in both of our hungry kisses. Our kisses couldn't justify the lust that emanated from both of us. I heard a click of the door knob but I was too immersed in what was in front of me that I ignored the consequence of my actions. I heard a thud, and everything came crumbling down at me.

 

She looked at me with those eyes that I adored. Without saying a word, she slowly made her way towards me. I could see that she was not trying to avoid anything. She looked straight in my eyes. I couldn't tell from her expression if she was mad or sad. Her eyes were the reason I fell for her deeply in love, but those are the eyes that I came to despise that day. They were so mysterious, even to the point where it annoys me.  She looked at me with those calm eyes. No horror, no hurt, no love, just hollowed expression.

 

I closed my eyes, waiting for whatever that may come next. I was sorry for what had happened, but I knew that I couldn't run from the sin I had committed at the moment. I slowly opened my eyes and instead of looking at her, I looked at the plastic bag that was the reason for the thud. It lay there motionless.

 

This was, I think, the major difference between us. She looked at everything clearly while I was a coward who wanted to run away. She faced everything and stood up to what she believed in while I cowardly abided by someone else's rules. She would have preferred to be alone rather than friends who force you to conform while I would have preferred those fake friends.  Lastly, she would have never given into a bet or passion that betrayed your lover no matter how much of a chicken you are called for it, while I did without thinking twice about it.

 

Her hands flew up in the air. I closed my eyes, again, expecting a hard blow on my face, feeling the unusually gentle touch on my shoulder instead. I began to shudder contemplating what she may say next. She looked straight in my eyes and a sad smile graced her lips and she whispered, "Goodbye Armaan..." I looked at her, wanting to stop her as she closed the door when she left but I couldn't. My feet stood rooted to the ground. What have I done?

 

She did not at all look at the girl right next to me. She only looked at me, the man she trusted from the bottom of her heart, and the man who betrayed her. There were no accusations, no tears, no blame, just regrets. Regrets of ever trusting. She never needed to say anything because I understood her without her telling me anything. She was so different, so apt for me, and yet I lost her.

 

As soon as she left, I collapsed on the bed. The girl right next to me dressed up and left while I reviewed whatever happened just few minutes ago. I couldn't comprehend it. She left me? I knew the reason and how I wanted to repent for it but I knew better than to try because once the trust is broken, it cannot be reestablished again...there will always be the scars and broken pieces as the reminder of the betrayal.

 

My eyes scanned the messy room, and it fell upon the dark colored plastic bag that she left as her last memory. I went to it and shuffled inside it only to find a box and a note. I opened the box, being especially surprised at what was in it. My favorite platinum watch that I had wanted but was not able to get due to my low income. Tears began to form in the corner of my eyes as I opened the note. It read:

 

"My love, I am sorry for all the dates and dinners I have been missing. I knew how much you wanted this watch. I know how much it means to you and if I had to do overtime work just to get enough money to give you such happiness then I am willing to sacrifice my time for it. My only regret it to not be able to have the dinner you planned for our anniversary. I wanted to give you for our year anniversary, but I couldn't save enough money to buy you this. Well, better late than never. Happy Anniversary. Love Shilpa."

 

I couldn't hold down the tears anymore. I cried and cried at the mistake that I can never amend for. I loved her. She was so different, so apt for me, and yet I lost her forever.

********************
 
Please do tell how it is, and press the like button if you enjoyed it..thanks!
Jiya


Edited by act12 - 18 December 2010 at 7:01pm

The following 6 member(s) liked the above post:

rashikoradiaplukswilddevil2010hindu4lyf*Nishi*SunShine_A

Dear Guest, Being an unregistered member you are missing out on participating in the lively discussions happening on the topic "Oneshot: Hollowed" in Writers Corner forum. In addition you lose out on the fun interactions with fellow members and other member exclusive features that India-Forums has to offer. Join India's most popular discussion portal on Indian Entertainment. It's FREE and registration is effortless so JOIN NOW!

pluks

Senior Member

pluks

Joined: 25 November 2007

Posts: 276

Posted: 22 December 2010 at 7:37am | IP Logged
heyy jiya...
i loved the way yu potrayed the emotions... really beautiful!!!!
armaan and shilpa both of their characters.. so very well described and evrything!! hats off!!

pluks

Senior Member

pluks

Joined: 25 November 2007

Posts: 276

Posted: 02 January 2011 at 2:29am | IP Logged
jiyaa.. why dont yu post this on the fan fiction forum... or DMG forum??

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

act12

*Nishi*

IF-Sizzlerz

*Nishi*

Joined: 26 January 2008

Posts: 14066

Posted: 12 February 2011 at 9:36pm | IP Logged
 i really like the personality of the girl. in a few ways im kind of like her. when she saw the two together she didnt take her earrings off getting ready to fight LOL she was gentle and calm and those kind of confrontations hurt the most. in the end, most guys are just complete jerks Tongue


Edited by *Nishi* - 15 February 2011 at 4:34am

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

act12hindu4lyf

act12

Goldie

act12

Joined: 27 December 2006

Posts: 1196

Posted: 18 February 2011 at 2:47pm | IP Logged
@Pluks - Thanks for liking it...ACtually I have already posted this up on fanfiction section after you said it
 
@Nishi - Thank you very much...haha I know what you mean... I wanted to do something different, I am sick and tired of the girl crying so I showed the guy crying lol

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

wilddevil2010

Post Reply New Post

Go to top

Related Topics

  Topics Topic Starter Replies Views Last Post
That one girl...oneshot! legallyzoya 8 884 24 October 2009 at 12:59am
By legallyzoya

Forum Quick Jump

Forum Category

Active Forums

Limit search to this Forum only.

 

Disclaimer: All Logos and Pictures of various Channels, Shows, Artistes, Media Houses, Companies, Brands etc. belong to their respective owners, and are used to merely visually identify the Channels, Shows, Companies, Brands, etc. to the viewer. Incase of any issue please contact the webmaster.