Originally posted by Dabulls23I don't think this plan would work as Savita will get her hopes up or more trouble between ArMan...
From what I see Manav needs job to support ArMan and Ds & pay for Savita's psychiatric treatment...Once he is able than take her to the Pschologist first and get her analyzed...May be she needs to be inhouse somewhere & on meds...Here she can learn to cope with the grief, loss and despair abt Sachin's death...Inhouse she can get counselling on how to accept ArMan's marriage and how to deal with it too...Meanwhile Sachu should be removed...
My two cents on this plan: Varsha Di, the biggest problem with psychiatric treatment is that it is very difficult to convince the patient to see a psychiatrist. In most instances the patient does not want to accept that he/she needs psychiatric help, the constant argument being - "Main pagal nahi hun." Even normal patients, if forcibly taken to a psychiatrist, throw things at him/her. Unless they cooperate with the doctor, the doctor really cannot do anything much except giving anti-psychotics and anti-anxiety drugs. Here I'm speaking of normal people, not abusive, wild people like Savita. I really do not think she will accept a psychiatrist. Her first line will be- "Tum log mujhe pagal sabit karke mujhe Sachu se alag karna chahte ho." She will stop trusting Manav, Damo, everyone if this happens. Forcibly taken to psychiatrist will have no gain cos everything will fall on deaf ears.
Hence Manav Damo need to go to a doctor who will guide them. The doctor meets the patient in the company of loved ones. The loved ones i.e. family members need to be ones the patient trusts. Hence my emphasis on Manav going to Savita occasionally and making her realise that he is there with her to support her- financially, emotionally everything. Here also I take Manav's name not Damo's cos Savita had a special bonding with Manav not Damo who has practically been useless all these years. This will help in calming her. At the same time, psychiatrist befriends her and starts counselling- sometimes without revealing his real professional identity, else she will throw him out. If Manav succeeds in convincing her (gradually and softly) that she needs treatment- then fine, take her to psychiatrist and psychiatrist ward. Else work behind the curtains and reveal everything once she gets well.
The main motto is: Manav should show support to Savita, that he is there with her, and Archu hasn't snatched him from Savita. Once she understands that Archu is no threat, she will gradually feel better, and the hatred will slowly dissipate as she slowly regains her balance and see things in a new light. Right now she is beyond reasoning.
During all this, Manav shouldn't leave Archu. In fact, as Savita gets calmer, he should slowly start talking about her and even take her to meet Savita.
My point Varsha D, which unfortunately few people are seeing as of nowi, is that this is no ordinary MIL or dowry abuse- Savita had no regrets in burning her son even and sending Damo to jail. As I see it, these are signs of a unhealthy person. And so, my request to all the forum members would be- right now dont see her as a bad MIL. See the patient in her and react accordingly. She doesn't deserve jail or reprimands or hitting. She needs HELP.
You are all older than me, and much more experienced, but this is what I feel.