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Rang Badalti Odhani
Rang Badalti Odhani

Dream Dailogue....

The_May_Rose IF-Sizzlerz
The_May_Rose
The_May_Rose

Joined: 26 February 2010
Posts: 21543

Posted: 15 December 2010 at 4:09pm | IP Logged

I had another LBM....For those of you who don't know me it means Light Bulb Moment or Eureka!LOL....

All of us are all united, in the demand for better dailogues....We expect this from the show that gave use so many fantastic and memerable scenes for every character....Scenes which we analyse to this day.....And we have many FF writers who write superb dailogueApprove....
 
So getting to the point, I had  LBM after watching today' episode....Without sounding to smug, I thought, even I could have written better dailogue than the ones currently writenEmbarrassed....Then I thought, it would be even better if I opened this idea to the forumBig smile.....
 
So this is what I am thinking of....We pick scenes from the daily episodes and post our version and way to improve the dailogue....If the writere are stuck ,lets help then connect with the original characters and create a stronger image of the new characters.....
 
I have ides for all three scenes from today's epiosde....Sunil/Shaan's, RaSam and ShaNak....Will post them soon....But feel free to post your improved  versions RBO scenesSmile......
 
 

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garfield1209-Unknown-22YasharanrocksNinjaInPyjamaskrock-Nayab-

The_May_Rose IF-Sizzlerz
The_May_Rose
The_May_Rose

Joined: 26 February 2010
Posts: 21543

Posted: 15 December 2010 at 4:10pm | IP Logged

December 15th Shaan / Sunil scene.... My take after Sunil said if Shaan will feed himself with songs

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Shaan - Aap kya kehna chahte hai Dad?...Mein aap ke kilaf jaraha ho, toh apnehi ghar mein khanna bhi nahi chahiyeh?...
 
(Sunil smlies sarcastically)
 
Sunil - Nahi, nahi Shaan...Mein toh sirf tumhare Dadaji ke shubd yaad karaha tah.....Mujhe yaad hai jab mein unke khelaf gaya tah , unhone mujhe aissa hi kuch kaha tah....Aur ghar se bhi nekalne ki dumki de thi....
 
Shaan - Jaisa aapne mujhe di thi....
 
Sunil - Woh mein bhoola nahi Shaan....Aur ye maat sumujhna ke mein kuch dekh nahi sakta....Tumhe ek morka chahiye, jo mein deraha hoon....Par uski baad johoga....Woh mein nahi keh sakta....Aur ye baat Khanak ko bhi batadena....
 
Shaan - Teek hai Dad, jaise aap ke marzee....Par is bar meine jo shoru kiya hai, woh spana pora hoga....Aur please, aap Khanak ko beech mein maat layiye.....Usne woh hi kya jo woh hamesha karti aayi hai....Woh mujhe kabhi haarne nahi deti....Farak sirf intna hain, ke iss baar uske aur aap ke sooch alag hai....Anyway, raat bhohat hochoki hai, aap sojayeh....Good Night Dad....
 
Sunil - Tum jawao, mera kaam abhi bakhi hai...Good Night....
 
( Shaan watches his father walk back to his laptop, with a twinge of guilt , then he slowly makes his way upstair ) 


Edited by The_May_Rose - 15 December 2010 at 5:20pm

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The_May_Rose IF-Sizzlerz
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Posts: 21543

Posted: 15 December 2010 at 5:38pm | IP Logged
Edited the second post.....My first atempt to change the scene between Shaan and SunilEmbarrassed....Please comment and post your own version of RBO scenes too.....

Edited by The_May_Rose - 15 December 2010 at 5:39pm

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destinyloveNinjaInPyjamaskrock

togepe30 IF-Stunnerz
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Posts: 31116

Posted: 15 December 2010 at 9:40pm | IP Logged
LOL.....May tu Topic me akele hi Balle Balle karing...Hehehe
 
I liked your take on the scene...! Filhaal I dont have anything in mind....If I think of sumthing then i'll cum n post...! LOL !

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The_May_Rose

tvrasika IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 15 December 2010 at 9:48pm | IP Logged
Good post May.

I will come back later....if I get a LBM moment.

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The_May_Rose

_sana.Magic_ IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 15 December 2010 at 10:14pm | IP Logged
Good post May...if I get a good dialogue I'll surely write

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The_May_Rose

krock IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 16 December 2010 at 5:18am | IP Logged
MAY IT WAS REALLY NICE
......................I MISS MY RBO WITH FUN IN EACH AQND EVERY SENTENCE U .POOJAQ AND NOORIYA SHOULD WRITE SECN FOR RBO.................SEROUSLY

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The_May_Rose IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 16 December 2010 at 9:08am | IP Logged
Originally posted by togepe30

LOL.....May tu Topic me akele hi Balle Balle karing...Hehehe
 
I liked your take on the scene...! Filhaal I dont have anything in mind....If I think of sumthing then i'll cum n post...! LOL !
 
 
Well the point was all you brilliant writers, would make the current dailogue betterSmile....To be fare, I posted this quite lateEmbarrassed....So come on now, lets see you guys show the writers a thing or twoBig smile....

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