Posted: 17 December 2010 at 7:11pm | IP Logged
More than two and a half years ashi asked me to write something romantic when i was the motw. Wrote a few parts about him falling in love with a fan and finally marrying her two years back. Wanted to continue it, but did not.
Wrote the following on 9-12-10, wanted to post in the evening but could not come online. Ashi too did not come. Saw the like click on the birth messages, but don't think she made any posts.
So much has changed since the past two years has it not. There can be anger, frustration, exasperation, or just indifference. But I wrote it so posting the post marriage part because old feelings like old habits die hard...they linger...
She was pissed off. He had promised and yet again failed. She knew he was busy, knew there were so many things to look into before tomorrow. Yet was she not important? She was fuming. She was always understanding and knowing that her
life as an actor's wife will not be like that of her married relatives and friends had learnt not to be too demanding.
She had made adjustments, given him space, and inspite of all this she felt she was getting a raw deal. She was the one doing all the adjustments.
And that heated argument a little while earlier on the phone was the last straw. She was seething with anger. What did he mean by what he had said! So what should she do, be grateful and sit at his feet and be thankful for his benevolence. Be happy to be the chosen one.
There were so many murderous thoughts when the phone rang. "Made a few adjustments, I will be home around eight', and after a slight pause, 'are you angry', he asked, and without waiting for her reply said 'be ready if you want to go out'. She heard someone call him and he cut the phone with a hurried bye.
She threw down the phone. Those words were not going to appease. It angered her more and his earlier words were still hurting her.
She wanted to hurt him, get back at him and knew exactly what she would do. But will she be able to pull it off. She knew the consequences, but to hell with consequences. That phone call hardened her heart. It was a busy day at work, yet
she went to do what she had resolved to.
He came a little early. He was feeling guilty and knew he was at fault, but the past few days were hectic and there were the usual problems that were a part of his uncertain career. He rang the bell and she opened the door dressed up in a light pink salwar, but the smell that assaulted him as soon as he entered told him that they will be dining at home. He was certainly happy about that as he was in no mood to go out.
Should he hug her and say sorry.
But much to his relief she smiled, came near him and hugged him tight.
Everything went on smoothly from then on, they talked about the day and the next day, her day at work, and much more. He had his shower and later they sat down
She was in two minds. She can call it off. She wanted to. They had such a lovely one hour. The past hour had cooled her down so much, and all the earlier anger seemed a waste. She served him the meat balls, the chicken and was feeling so very indecisive that he asked if anything was wrong. She shook her head and said no.
Well he did not say sorry for all that he said so maybe it was right. Still... she did not want to. But he had broken promises in the past as well.
Even as she was thinking so many conflicting thoughts the phone rang, 'wait for me', she said and went to answer her phone.
He was surprised at her behavior, but did not think much about it. All the food in front of him was making him hungry and he served himself the fried rice and started to eat.
The second mouth told him the reason for her behavior. He pushed the plate in disgust and the chair in anger. He must have known, must have guessed, he was fool, the biggest fool. Never trust an angry woman. He rushed to the bathroom and started to throw up.
How could she!
She heard the noise and hurriedly disconnected the phone, saw the plate and rushed to the bathroom. He was violently throwing up.
Should she go near. She stood at the door and watched. The sound was hurting her and she slowly entered the bathroom. He was vomiting, unaware of her presence.
After a few minutes he washed his face reached for the towel and left the room
without even looking at her.
Never had she felt this guilty. 'I am sorry'', she began. 'Don't even open your mouth' he said softly yet angrily and again rushed to the bathroom.
She could feel tears forming in her eyes and once again she went after him. She touched his back only to have him turn and push her hand with such a force that she staggered.
With eyes blurring with tears she left the place and went to clear the table.
He came out and went to stand near the window. He would not have stood there even for a few minutes, when he rushed to the bathroom again. Defying all logic she actually giggled and hurriedly turned to see whether he saw that.
He came out, and immediately went in again. The retching was loud in the stillness of the night and she started to feel like a criminal.
She went into bathroom and touched his back hesitantly. He had removed his shirt and his back was clammy with sweat. She felt the spasms. He did not push her and she leaned closer and said sorry.
The retching and heaving must be even more painful when there was nothing left in the stomach.
He ignored her and left the room. She once again said 'sorry'.
'Why did you do?' 'You knew what would happen', he said tiredly.
'I am sorry, really sorry.'
'No you are not.' 'Why did you do it.'
And that was it!
Now why was she saying sorry so many times! She was the injured party here. He was in the wrong.
"Just because your huge body cannot take a small prawn why should I keep saying sorry".
"I am not going to feel guilty. I am so happy I did that. How could you say what you said".
"What did I say".
"I am not in the mood to think," he said vehemently.
She was not going to tell. Let him figure it out. But he stretched on the sofa
and closed his eyes.
"Don't you get rashes as well."
She was in a mood to fight and wanted an explanation for what he said.
Why did you say 'I married you didn't I'.
"Now why was that wrong". And he thought she was angry because yet another date was cancelled.
"What was wrong in that, I fell in love with you and married you didn't I. So why doubt my love for you. I could disappoint you at times but why doubt my love."
It did not sound too bad said that way. She could never doubt his love for her and there were times when she felt that he loved her more than she did him. So maybe she was hasty and impulsive. He was looking so pale and sickly and in huge discomfort that she said sorry once again.
"How can you do that, even an enemy would not' how could you hate me so much to do that'"
"I married you didn't I" she said softly.
"I am sorry and will accept any punishment" she continued in a rebellious yet pacifying tone.
Eyes still closed he gave a weak smile and said 'will think of something that will make you scream'.
"In pain? Should I be scared'.", she said with a smile in her voice.
"You better be", he said in a matching tone that said the mood had changed and the tension had dissipated.
He was waiting for her retort when he heard the noise and opened his eyes to see her run to the bathroom and start to vomit.
He went after her. "What happened? What did you eat, what are you allergic to..." he asked with concern.
She washed her face, took the towel from his hand, smiled, gave a mmm' a longer mmmm' that bordered on a moan and said 'raaajeeeev', with a drawl.
He understood immediately for he had already guessed.
'So are we happy', he asked.
'Yes', she said sounding happy.
He took her in his arms, held her close and kissed her on her forehead. 'So how about the punishment', he began only to heave once again. He set her aside and even as he went to the washbasin he heard her corresponding gagging heave, felt
her hands push him roughly out of the way and start to vomit. He glared at her back and hurriedly went to the other washroom.
'I married didn't I'.
Edited by yazh1 - 17 December 2010 at 7:20pm