@Gaayu:
So, this is my take on the whole "saas-bahu" feedback!!...In my youthful days (yeah, I speak like I have no teeth left and I hold a stick and walk...and if Beeni is reading this, she would totally divulge my age here π)...I used to be the "modern, aggressive, strong" gal that we have been talking about in this thread and that's why I learnt my lessons and fixed/reset my definitions of modern and strong woman!
Its my practical experience, Aggressiveness never kills aggressiveness and a tooth for a tooth never solves a problem...Two people bonded by enemity can probably kill the other but he didnt solve the problem, root cause, enemity...the enemity was buried with the physical body but was not razed from the ground. Is this the solution we seek for? What world would we be in if in a dual, both of them are just shouting at each other and not even one is being patient or ready to put on other's shoes...I dread to even envision such world...and that is where such women come in, the defn for which you have stated in bold....
Now, coming to Saas-Bahu saga, I agree with the definition, I dont agree with the potrayal of this definition. The gals in these famous Saas-Bahu serials are shown to cross their boundaries and reach out for their husband's responsibilities. I dont agree there. let the men do his joba nd let the women do hers.If she is potrayed to be a house wife, let her achieve that to excellence, if she is a bread earner, let her stick to it...What I dnt like is that as soon as the saas-bahu saga starts, the hubby becomes very meek and very blissfully oblivious of his surroundings...That's is impractical to me...Someone is about to betray the hubby and the wife comes to know about it and she doesnt inform hubby and starts calling shots from the backend...I would question them that why didnt she let Hubby know...A man who was shown initially to be a shrewd business man, who can take upon any enemy and knows his way out, has suddenly become good for nothing? To me,that is the butchering of the definition potrayed above. Let the men take care of the business aspects he was doing,..How can he suddenly go dumb? What would justify her role to me is, If she joins him in his struggle against the enemy, and not her exaggerated role in saving an empire when she probably has a waitress experience...and then they stretch the whole "truth hiding" drama to the extent that it becomes impossible to swallow where the hubby is wondering why is his wife behaving weird, where does she go chupke chupke etc etc...
On the saas aspect, show your traits of being patient because when u start asking for a tooth, u would get ur tooth struck out too...Saas wouldnt sudhrofy at any cost...But when things go beyond a point, like physical abuse, u have to stand for urself....
u have to attimes stand to prove ur innocence too....being strong does not mean, taking upon urself afalse blame and living with it....
Also, I would tend to agree that such women (the one with above defn) are rare breed, infact, here,i dnt wanna be a gender bias, I would say, such human are rare breed but the world can get better only if we all start moving towards virtues that define the strength and not ask for a tooth for a tooth!!!...
When I say those things about Khanak...I had to say that because she was the one potraying it....I wish Shaan was showing the same but well, thats not in his character...but I was OK if a men had those traits too...I just know one guy who has those traits....Gaayu, I was the most impulsive and impatient gal long back in time...always ready to picket on the fence for any issue, especially women....I would fight with him day in day out on anything and everything...I moved with broad shoulders giving the air, "take pangaas and u will be taken to task"...but then I faced a stiff opposition in the form of patience...I would shout from here and he would just remain patient...I would again shout and he would remain patient...I was perplexed...Initially I hated him for being so patient, cool, understanding and loving...and then I realized, I am frustrated because I wasnt gettign the same aggressive reaction that would build my aggression, give me the ego boost that I could take the guy down....and gradualy I realized that he lived in peace while I sulked big time....and he turned out to be strong while I wailed!!!....and the veil came off my eyes, all this was not theory, only if we choose to make it practical in our life.... and that was my first step to becoming strong...I am not saying I am strng, but I now know whats modern and whats real strength...I stand for a cause, but I dnt blow my heads off...My mission is to make people see my POV thru logic and zeal but not thru aggression...To me its about souls and not about Indian, american, male or female anymore...needless to say, I was the biggest feminist alive and now I am a humanitarian...be it a man or woman, I will stand for all types of injustice....
BTW, I hate to accept, but he gets me to do everything for him with these traits...and I used this on many people and dude, Magic....Little patience and ppl steaming high, would get ready to complete my work!!!...ππ...The Formula always works...Trust me!!ππ
The motto eventually is to co-exist in peace, and not kill each other.
My 2 cents...
Oh well, 100 cents, I guess!!
π€£π€£
Edited by Dancingdoll - 13 years ago