A letter from Arjun to Arohi (13/12/2010)

Arohi

I know that you are very angry with me at the moment.  In fact, I know that I have hurt you deeply.  You trusted me, you believd in me, and I know that keeping you away from the whole truth, I have shatterd this trust, this belief into tiny pieces that no one will ever be able to piece together again.

But Arohi, just let me speak my heart out and let me pour out all my feelings,  then I swear, I will never show you my face ever again.  Please Arohi, hear me out, just this once. Please.

Whatever I am about to say, is not to make you feel sympathetic towards me.  I don't expect you to feel sorry for me at all.  I have done, what I did, and I cannot ever justify that, but I don't know why, but so far, I have always ended up saying something to you that I've never said to anyone else, and maybe never will say so to anyone ever again.  That's why I am writing this, because what I am going to say to you today, I will never say to anyone else again!

Yes Arohi, Your Daddu is correct.  I am a 'DON'.  But what I am, is because I love my family unconditionally.  Just the way you do to yours.  My father is dearer to me, more than anything in this world.  I am prepared to do anything for him.  ABSOLOUTELY ANYTHING and that is why my aim in life has always been, and perhaps will always be to keep him happy and make him proud! Proud that he has made no mistake in adopting me.

Your heard right Arohi, I am not my father's biological son.  I don't know who my real parents are.  But this father of mine accepted me, gave me shelter, a house, a name, a family, and that is why I will always remain indebted to him all my life, which means – I will leave no stone unturned to avoid any harm coming his way.  Remember Arohi, that day, when you were afraid of the dark, and you didn't want me to leave you alone.  I taught you 'apne dar se jeetna seekho' , because this is what I have been saying to myself for a large portion of my life.  I knew exactly how you were feeling that night,  the fear, the helplessness, I have experienced it all!

Arohi, If I wanted to, I could have kidnapped you and treated you the way other kidnappers do.  I could have starved you, locked you in a dark, dirty and eary room.  But I did not do that.  This is because this DON may show a all tough and rough attitude, but inside, I have buried my own thoughts and feeling, my own ambitions and my own morals, most of which I have realized, exist within me after spending these past days with you!

The first time I met you Arohi, I could say we were both in the same place at the wrong time.  I put that knife on your neck, but believe me, that cut was made unintentionally.  My intention was to frighten you, not to hurt you in any way.  The way you stared at me with thoses frightened eyes, my heart melted, but I had a job to complete, thus left without saying anything  After that, we kept on meeting, I don't now why, but always in the wrong situations.  Maybe, that's how it was meant to be.  A misunderstanding between the two of us.  But am glad, because now when I look back at those moments, a smile appears on my face.  And you know Arohi, only something/someone special is able to make me smile.

That day, when I left you at the Police Station with the thought that my mission is accomplished.  I thought that my father is out of jail, now I can leave you at a safe place and that is it, I won't have anything to do with you again.  But after I drove off, only your thoughts, words and memories were going round and round in circles in my head.  When you had told me that 'till date, whatever you have done is for your family', I felt there was this one similarity between us.  That is when I thought, that for the first time, I wanted to do something for MYSELF.  And do you know what, that something for me was actually something for you, something that would make YOU happy!  That is why I came to pick you up.  I wanted to fulfill this dream of yours; I wanted to take you to Sarahali and see you happy.

Arohi, I really am surprised, but I thoroughly enjoyed your company these past few days.  I loved your chatty, cheerful, fun-loving and sensitive nature, and I will cherish those beautiful moments forever.

I wont say any more now, I don't have enough words to express my true feelings, but what I can do is say, that the kidnapping started off as a deception but later on I started realizing how much it hurt me to deceive you and lie to you,  But I have wronged you and it's a fact that sadly can't be changed.  I have broken your trust and faith that you had in me.  I have given  you too much pain.  I know my mistake is not worth forgiving, but I am still sorry.

I am very sorry for all the tears that have flown out of your beautiful eyes because of me.  

 Arjun