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ENGLISH is STUPID

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Khushalay

Goldie

Khushalay

Joined: 07 February 2005

Posts: 1043

Posted: 11 February 2005 at 4:04pm | IP Logged

ENGLISH IS A "STUPID" LANGUAGE !

Lets face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England.
    
We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
    
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.
    
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another
    
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill IN a form
By filling it OUT
And a bell is only heard once it GOES!
    
English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
    
That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this poem
It ends!!!!

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Goldie

S.T.U.P.I.D.

Joined: 07 January 2005

Posts: 1956

Posted: 11 February 2005 at 4:18pm | IP Logged

thanx!

this is sooooooooooo funny!

Selina

IF-Sizzlerz

Selina

Joined: 29 December 2004

Posts: 10102

Posted: 11 February 2005 at 8:32pm | IP Logged

OMG, that was hilarious.

|Persephone|

IF-Veteran Member

|Persephone|

BollyCurry Director

Joined: 30 October 2004

Posts: 13739

Posted: 11 February 2005 at 8:35pm | IP Logged
lol

poison ivy

Goldie

poison ivy

Joined: 13 January 2005

Posts: 1093

Posted: 11 February 2005 at 11:31pm | IP Logged
hehe!! ive read this b4 its funny

Deli

Senior Member

Deli

Joined: 26 January 2005

Posts: 882

Posted: 12 February 2005 at 12:06am | IP Logged
Hahaha, that was an excellent read. Thank you.

astitvaluvr

Newbie

astitvaluvr

Joined: 04 November 2004

Posts: 23

Posted: 12 February 2005 at 4:13pm | IP Logged
LOL- that was neat

Nisha82

Senior Member

Nisha82

Joined: 05 January 2005

Posts: 525

Posted: 12 February 2005 at 4:35pm | IP Logged
LOL LOL LOL

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