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Indian Parents- Domination OR Affection

sowmyaa IF-Dazzler

Joined: 23 August 2004
Posts: 3658

Posted: 14 December 2005 at 6:49am | IP Logged
Indian Parents- Is it Domination/Abuse OR It is Love/Affection-

Ok, most of us all being raised by Indian parents would have gone through some kind of domination by our parents during our school, college days. Some parents insist girls to get back home before 7, some restrict them on wearing certain clothes some girls are not allowed to have boy "friends", some are not allowed partying. Even at age of 20 girls and boys are restricted to certain things by their parents in India. I am mostly giving examples about girls as there is still lot of restriction on daughters compared to son.

1.     Do you think that it is kind of abuse to certain extend by parents as kids in India are financially dependant and due to society norms and pressure?
2.     Or do you think its "always" their love and affection and they are just protective and possessive about their kids.
3.     Do you think kids after certain age should be given some freedom and let them learn their own way be it a hard-way? Or you think it is ok for parents to keep eye on their children even when they are in college?

I'll give my views later.

ashley1 Senior Member

Joined: 08 August 2005
Posts: 438

Posted: 14 December 2005 at 3:11pm | IP Logged
Nice topic. I really have various & deep feelings about this one. My parents have given me freedom in some areas & I am restricted in others. What I like about my parents is that they are very adaptive to the sorroundings. When I was in India 8 years ago, I didn't wear shorts, I didn't go to the gym, I didn't wear much make-up, big earrings etc. But now, I wear everything I want...must be descent though...not bikinis. I can wear as much make-up as I want & all that.
Now, I am even allowed to date a guy (as long as he is Indian & of the same religion etc.)
May be they think I am old enough now to see what's bad or good for me.
Before sometimes, I thought may be they were too strict & they didn't let me do what other kids could. But as I grow older, I am coming to know that noone of their decisions about me were bad & everything has turned out perfect.

SO, ITS ALWAYS (99.9%) FOR GOOD, if parents restrict.
sosweet IF-Rockerz

Joined: 11 August 2005
Posts: 6616

Posted: 15 December 2005 at 12:26am | IP Logged

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sim38 IF-Dazzler

Joined: 30 July 2005
Posts: 4037

Posted: 15 December 2005 at 12:30am | IP Logged
one point.. that might attract a lot of criticism from all of u..
i too, maybe become parent in future..
but from my point of view..
in average.. Parents have poor knowledge abt Parenting.. they don't read books abt parenting, there r very few counselling aid for it..and they don't accept any suggestion from others abt parenting...

Vishesh whatever you have said ,I agree with that but here I dont agree. Do you think that to become a good parent any literary knowledge is required? It is something which can fully be justified with your experiences only.
mad_cap IF-Rockerz

Joined: 31 May 2005
Posts: 6268

Posted: 15 December 2005 at 1:37am | IP Logged
First let me point out that parents are more affectionate to their children than being dominating.
Also I disagree with some about parent's having limited knowledge. The fact that they are parents make them knowledgable about parenting. One doesn't need books to learn parenting - the so called books are around not for very long - so, does it mean that there were only dominating parents over the ages before such books came into being.
The root of the problem, as I see it is a lack in communication between the child and parent. Sometimes it is from the parent's side - and the reasons could be many from lack of time to pre conceived notions like taking your child for granted - and hence should do as told. Sometimes, it is the children who do not try to communicate with their parents - sometimes out of fear and awe. It becomes a vicious cycle as the parent and child keep drifting apart.
However, when there is an excellent rapport and communication between the child and his parents, there is nothing better. Not only are the two bonded by strong affection, there also are no problems like domination and curtailment of freedom. The relation should be such that the child can look up proudly at his parent as a friend, philosopher and guide.
sosweet IF-Rockerz

Joined: 11 August 2005
Posts: 6616

Posted: 15 December 2005 at 2:17am | IP Logged

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sweet_shikhs Groupbie

Joined: 14 December 2005
Posts: 137

Posted: 15 December 2005 at 3:01am | IP Logged
hi all....
well this is love/affection,,,,
they have given birth to us,,they have make us stand on our feets....they always do everything for their child's betterment...
they are protective about their child so i dont think that if they say anything to us its domination,,,
i simply believe that whatever parents do or say is just due to a simple reason that they always pray good for their child,,,its just they love their child,,,
harrydeo Newbie

Joined: 17 November 2005
Posts: 30

Posted: 15 December 2005 at 6:18am | IP Logged
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