Posted: 19 October 2010 at 10:26am | IP Logged
JaGdIyA RaSmA IsHq NaHi JaNtA
It pains a lot when in front of your eyes all your dreams shatter and the last hope gets dissolved but all you can do is stand and watch '..
Its like a stone thrashed on my heart and I cant breathe , its like something is pricking in my eyes to see him go and all I can do is let the tears flow , its like the air is suffocating and the feelings inside me are riding on a tide '.
I never thought I have to let him go , I never thought that I will see him go , the last time he left me and I never got him back . he was there with me this few months physically but he wasn't my prem , the prem who loved me madly , he was just someone else who saw me with confusing as well as accusing eyes , who was cold to me , who didn't had a thing for me in his heart ' it pains a lot
I Heer Mann was standing infront of the window and was seeing him get into the car to leave , yes he was going back to Canada and I know he is never going to return back , this time he is going forever . I stood there motionless staring blankly from the glass window towards him, I saw maa and bauji hugging mummy and papa with tears in their eyes , I saw preet giving a kiss on forehead to meher and it again pricked me , he also loved me the same with all respect and dignity and now he even didn't cared to bid me an adieu as if that's going to give me some peace '
I saw veera and nihaal get into another car and I saw them taking a glance at me and giving a small smile to me , but I even cant smile back being polite , its been ages since I feel like smiling , and then I saw preet looking at me with numb eyes and all I can do was to take my hand ahead and shake it in a manner to say bye
And then I saw him sliding the glass window of the car and that's when our eyes met
To me it was always a pleasure to look into those warm chocolate eyes of him which reflected warmth , love , respect , naughtiness and gave him a perfect look , those eyes which were a mirror to his heart but now I don't see anything in them and that stern look made me numb as well as angry that why its happening to me?
The last words of him to me are still ringing in my ears , it sounds to me like loud drum beats in my ear
" heer its just I cant go on blindly with our relationship and marry you when I don't feel anything for u , I just need someone whom I will love and I am still waiting for that moment to arrive in my life , I know its gonna be a different sensation and I don't feel that for you , there is no offense meant to you , you are a very nice girl but you are not the one whom I love '."
And those words were the last thing I expected from him to hear
Suddenly my eyes fell on the bangle in my hand and again my heart felt heavy , it was given to me by him when he confessed his love to me
" I love u heer , will u be mine , mere aur mere parivaar ka hissa banogi heer ?"
As heer got out of her dream world her ears heard the sound of the starting engine of the car outside and without wasting another second she started running down
Ishq walla karde challa jism ulagh jaye ho jaye kalla
Life didn't gave her a second opportunity but she will give him one , she will let him be happy , she will pray he gets the one whom he will love , she wont be a barrier
She ran downstairs with all her force , she ran through the broad hallway with her dupatta flying , her hair fell on her eyes but she harshly removed them and moved forward bare feet to the stairs and hurried down , in her hurry her foot slipped a bit and her leg muscle got pulled but she didn't cared catching her breath a little in the last stairs she got down the flight and with long steps moved towards the wodden door
Aur kisedi ho nahi sakti
Dard hi dil da de gai takdeer
It was as if her life was going away from her tearing her apart into pieces , but she have to see him the last night , to give him something which she doesn't owns
It can be said that all of her is only owned by him , her mind , her soul, her heart , her body , her thoughts everything but it was something in particular , it was something he gave her as a token of love but she cant keep the burden anymore because he himself has freed her from that string and Heer Mann never kept something which doesn't belongs to her , if she wanted she could have easily made him agree for the marriage but it would be only a compromise , it wont be love so she let him go and now she will give him the other precious thing left in her life , his only NISHAANI back to him as when love isn't left that nishaani also doesn't matters , few months back she was the right one to wear those but now might be someone else would get the right to wear those and she wont take that right away from that person because that person would be loved by prem and how could she hate something or someone whom prem loves '..
Heer pushed the wooden door with all the force left in her weak body and went outside and saw the car pacing outside the main gate and her parents looking at the cars going
She shouted for them to stop
PREM RUKO !
But her soft voice was beyond there reach , so she ran , she ran again to the main gate past her parents , who looked at her with astonishing eyes , but she cant care for anything else now , people might think that she has gone mad , sometimes she just runs away from the past and sometimes runs after her past but it doesn't matters because she is mad , she is mad about him and he has made her mad about him , she can shout out proudly that yes she is PREM DIWANI '
Heer nu paas bula le ranjhra
Ruh meri gal la de ranjhra
Bas ya prem tu des je dil vich hayee
Mainu vi uss desh bula
As she ran past the main gate she didn't take the granite road as by that means she can never reach him , in spite she just shoved past the trees and ran all the way to the kaccha road which is full of sand , stones and unwanted wastes but she didn't care
She ran straight the path whereas the car had to take a round path
The stones pricked her bare feet , the bushes gave her scratches and bruises but she was determined to stop him once atleast once , to look at him once , to just mesmerize him , to just get a memory of him for life time ' its just a last look
Ho jagdiya rasma ishq nahi janta
Dil betaab hai tujhko hi manta
Heer slowed down as she can see that the car was turning to the corner and she was straight near the road , she came running down on the middle of the road and looked in front to see the car coming towards her and then taking a break with a loud screeching sound of the tires
Heer stood there sweating , looking pale , bleeding outside , panting and trying to catch her breath
It was same inside her she was bleeding in heart and suffocating
She saw their faces looking at her with surprise and hope that might be she can stop him , but she has long lost that hope and she can never stop him to do what he feels , she never can
She saw him looking at her from inside and then he got out of the car and she could feel the breeze in that hot sunny afternoon , she can still feel the shiver when he was infront of him , that electrifying sensation and temptations
she saw him coming straight to her and standing infront of her , looking at her
finally she managed to get rid of the lump form in her throat and spoke
heer " main tumhe rokne nahi aayi hun , tum kuch bhul gaye the usse lautane aayi hun"
she knew she cant say more because she is going to break down infront of him and cry and beg for him to return so with all her courage she took off the kangans from her hand and with her another hand holded them infront of him
heer" tumne mujhe ye diya tha aur kaha tha ye mere aur tumhare parivaar ke beech ki dorr hai , ye tumne mujhe diya tha kyunki tum mujhse pyaar karte the "
she saw him looking at her with painful eyes so she didn't moved forward
heer" ye ab mere liye nahi hai , usse de dena jo tumhare liye ms. Perfect ho "
heer saw him , but he didn't moved nor spoke anything
so she moved forward and took his hand lightly and kept the kangans on his palm
heer" bas yahi kehna tha"
then she stared at him for another minute , trying to fill herself with his scent , trying to memorize his feel in herself for life time and then she saw him move back towards his car , get inside and then the car moved past her and a small drop of tear fell from her eyes
as the car moved away from her view , her knees gave up and she fell hard on the stony road , sobbing hard '. But the one who promised to never let her cry was gone '' the one who promised to wipe her tears was gone '. The one promised to cry when she will cry was gone '..
Kis desh mein hai mera dill hayeee
Kis desh mein hai mera dil
AS prem looked into the rear view glass of his car he can see her standing there alone , a desperate feeling was there inside him but he cant understand what is it ' he is getting whatever he wants , he can go away but he cant understand that then why is that feeling appearing in him , and then he felt something wet on his cheek , and he realized he was crying ' is it for her ? is this due to the attachment he has grown towards her in few days as a family member or is it something else ? Something that is called love '''
Okk guys was it up to the mark , well this is my most waited story I have been writing this from last year but I always find it incomplete I donno why , its close to my heart and I promise its going to rock
And lol let me tell my faithful readers its not a tragedy at all , as it looks u going to go on a laughter ride but all time laughing and laughing wont bring the flavor ''. Right '.
for all my other works guys do visit here
prologue pg 1
character sketch pg 5
story line pg 5
chapter-1 pg 9
chapter-2 pg 12
chapter-3 pg 16
chapter-4 pg 21
chapter-5 pg 25
END PART pg110
Edited by aishwaryagayen - 17 June 2014 at 12:09pm