More of Harry's great sarcasm.
"He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though...keep up with news...check if I'm happy..."
"Brilliant! It's Potions last thing on Friday! Snape won't have the time to poison us all!"
"Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head!"
"Well, I had one that I was playing Quidditch the other night," said Ron, screwing up his face in an effort to remember. "What do you think that means?"
"Probably that you're going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something," said Harry, turning the pages of The Dream Oracle without interest.
"And Harry said last night," retorted Ron, "if it means we're supposed to get matey with the Slytherins, fat chance."
"Well, I think it's a pity we're not trying for a bit of inter-House unity," said Hermione crossly.
They had reached the foot of the marble staircase. A line of fourth-year Ravenclaws was crossing the entrance hall; they caught sight of Harry and hurried to form a tighter group, as though frightened he might attack stragglers.
"Yeah, we really ought to be trying to make friends with people like that," said Harry sarcastically.
"Harry, don't go picking a row with Malfoy, don't forget, he's a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you..."
"Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life?" said Harry sarcastically.
"You can't give a Dementor the old one-two!"
"Why were you lurking under our window?"
"Yes -- yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our windows, boy?"
"Listening to the news," said Harry in a resigned voice.
His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage.
"Listening to the news! Again?"
"Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry.
"She's Ron's sister.
But she's ditched Dean!
She's still Ron's sister.
I'm his best mate!
That'll make it worse.
If I talked to him first-
He'd hit you.
What if I don't care?
He's your best mate!"
"There's no need to call me sir Professor."
"This is night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this."