Chaloo Khanak- OS UPDATED on page 2 and page 3

tofeeees thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago

ok we'll just skip to the farm house/ hotel in which khanak and shaan have to spend the night because...er...let me think let me think...ahh bingo! i have a great idea! khanak has pretended to sprain her ankle and is complaining she cannot walk! AHHH now that shall be a nice romantic scene!

ok so we shall start right after the signing of papers at the factory!

"khanak hum shaam ki flight lay kar mumbai jaray hain", shaan said with a small frown, hardly meeting khanak's eyes, " i mean hum nay sign toh kardiya toh bus ub hum ghar jaatay hain". As he said it he felt a huge lump in his throat but couldn't place it 'HUM ghar jaatay hain?', he thought. Did he jus say that to her?there was no 'hum' left, he knew that perfectly well now. Then why did he utter that word that meant the world to him? Khanak glanced at him as his frown deepened and he stared in space. She had to do something! She hadn't talked to Shaantanu at all!Those stupid investors had been hogging him the whole day! Didn't they realize that Shaan was 'newly' married to her! Talk about giving newly-weds some space! sheesh! she thought, rolling her eyes.

Desperate times called for desperate measures. It was either now or never. Shaantanu walked forward towards the car, leaving Khanak behind even though his heart longed her to walk beside him, hand in hand. ' I hate her' he muttered under his breadth. Khanak took a few small steps and at the third step she uttered a shriek of pain. Shaan swept around in an instant and what he saw made his heart jump into his mouth. Khanak was sprawled on the muddy road, clutching her ankle and howling in pain all the while.

Shaan ran to her aid "Khanak , Khanak , kya hua? " he yelled, desperation and worry etched all over his cute face. He hunched himself beside khanak and touched her ankle, making Khanak yell again in agony! "shaantanu, yay aap kya karein hain? mujahy durd hora hain! yay bhee nahi pata k meri airee mur gayee hain! burthal!" Shaan looked at her helplessly as he realized that even in her pain she lost no chance to scold him. He immediately let go of her ankle. Khank felt a surge of disappointment as he withdrew but knew this step was important to move on to the next. And how right was she?

Without further ado, Shaan got up and with one swift movement, lifted her off the muddy road and into his arms. It took Khank's entire will power to keep pretending to be in pain, even as she wanted to jump in joy. Shaantanu's lift had never felt more desirable before, his arms had never been more inviting (she felt she could stay in his arms forever) and the proximity of his face to hers had never been so heart stopping. "Focus Khanak, focus!" she thought to herself. Shaantanu looked at her and she stifled a small smile. She needn't have though, it was getting really diffcult to just well up more tears in her eyes. In one dramatic moment of haste Khank cried , "hayyay thakur jee, mujahy buhat durd hain! baii, adaaa uhuhuhu", she whined. "khanak chup hojao, hum airport jaray hain ok main iss par dawai laga deta hoon theek hojayay ga" , saying this he opened the car door and placed her lightly on the back seat and he himself jumped in beside her! "mujhay airport nahi jana! wahan buhut chalna hota hain...main kaisay chaloo gee?" The driver got into his seat "Khank chup karo" i said it will be alright!" Shaan reasoned. " No" Khanak yelled shocking Shaan. " You are a burthal" she said in pure english further giving Shaan a heart attack. " I want to rest". the driver, hearing all this commotion suggested to go to the Khandelwal farmhouse on the way and rest "baji ko dard horah hain, saab" he said. Shaan agreed,his heart already aching to be with the love of his life albeit the pain she was in.

Khanak smiled inwardly at her major success. "Lets see how we get out of here before tomorrow now, shall we" she thought triumphantly. Shaan looked at her side ways "She looks beautiful even when she's crying" he thought shamelessly. " should i hug her?" he asked himself. "No! Are you nuts!" said his conscience. "She rejected you, er, remember?"
Shaan settled himself with NOT doing anything and resumed staring in space.
 
Both were shown into the guest house where a guard was already there. He hurriedly cleaned up a room and welcomed them both. Shaan lifted khanak to the bedroom and laid her on the bed.
 
"This is it" thought Khank mischievously.
 
i may continue this... i need to leave now
 
i hope you guys like it. ignore the typing errors if any i was in ahurry
Edited by tofeeees - 13 years ago

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m4manju thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
hey beeni nice scene........... 😊 i wish something similar to this happens πŸ˜› spacially shan carrying khanak in his arms πŸ˜‰ "remembers last time when he carried her" oh those golden ShaNak days!!! 😭 miss them badly 😭
anyways loved ur post πŸ˜› do continue soon 😊 😊
SahSah thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
hey...that is really nice...awesome...
i loved it....totally beautiful
shanakforever thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
superb scene beeni chaldi chaldi continue karo im dying out here 2 read more...i swear u should put up these scenes on star one site im sure u shall win....loved the scene u genuisπŸ‘πŸ‘πŸΌ
pree.mahi thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
Hey Beeni Loved your scene Awwwwww so romantic.

Khanak yell again in agony! "shaantanu, yay aap kya karein hain? mujahy durd hora hain! yay bhee nahi pata k meri airee mur gayee hain! burthal!" Shaan looked at her helplessly as he realized that even in her pain she lost no chance to scold him.

So very much shaan, could imagine the sulking face shaan had in today's promo from honeydew.
 
Without further ado, Shaan got up and with one swift movement, lifted her off the muddy road and into his arms. It took Khank's entie will powere to keep pretending to be in pain, even as she wanted to jump in joy. Shaantanu's lift had never felt more desirable before, his arms had never been more inviting (she felt she could stay in his arms forever) and the proximity of his face to hers had never been so heart stopping.
 
Awww beeni loved this piece. Khanak's pyaar is so paas, and surely she'll have the super hot romance ka ehsaas.
 
"Focus Khanak, focus!" she thought to herself.

Effect of Shaan? - how much he used to try to focus during our sweet shanak moments

 Shaan looked at her side ways "She looks beautiful even when she's crying" he thought shamelessly. " should i hug her" he asked himself. "No! Are you nuts!" said his conscience. "She rejected you, er, remember?"
 
Look inspite of his anger he doesnt want to miss hugging her - thats touchy shaan 4 us.
 
i may continue this... i need to leave now
 
Yes yes yes pl continue - remember u prmsed B/R scene 2 me in another thread - so eagerly waiting. Ohhhh do I sound desparate? Yes u r rght then I am desparate. Get going gal.
 
i hope you guys like it. ignore the tyoing errors if any i was in ahurry

MFRanjini thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
awwwwwwwwwwww Beeni😳

Thanks a lotπŸ€—

Kya idea madamji😍

Khanak being typical Khanak and Shaan being typical Shaan. Totally loved it😳

Join the CVsπŸ˜†

Continue karo yaar, you can't stop it hereπŸ˜†
tofeeees thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
aww thanks everyone! yes i shall definitely continue it :) i have some more scenes in mind which i can put in :)
 
@ arsh-fan: thanks alot! we shall know in approximately half an hour if something similar will happen 
 
@ansah: aww ansah you called it awesome *emabarassed* gee thanks a lot! this is the FIRST time i'm writing a scene lol
 
@karishma: lol karishma main aur genius! haha star one par itna lamba scene they'll reject me straight away!
 
@mahi: aww thanks mahi for actually commenting on parts of the scene...yes our shaan will remain the same shaan aur iss  main khanak par bhee uss ka asar horaha hain
 
@ranjini: don't worry i shall continue in a while, maybe when i'm free after 3 hours warna defintitely tomorrow morning! :)
Mehr-k thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
what  awonderful imagination, u rock  ,  super duper  and   i could just picturized  it right on . awesome job buddy . no wonder we all are true karan deewanees. πŸ˜‰
-Veena- thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
ahhhh.. i don't read FF's or Os's Beenz.. but i did yours.. πŸ˜›.. love it!
Keep it going!
-Unknown-22 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
AAhhhh yu have to continue tofeeees (sorry don't know your name) that was beautiful ..you write really well...can't wait to read more