DIVORCES - Page 3

This is so true!

The whole mentality of marriage is changing.  Before it people were committed to make a life long decision to make it work, not it's not thought of that way.

The mentality is "I'll give it a try, and if it doesn't work I'll find something else or someone else" 

I think marriage is not so much about love, but about understand, patience, respect, communitcation, and tolerance.

In the beginning people love the whole romance in a marriage and figure that's all they need, until reality sets in.

It's funny because, may be i'm clueless and whatever I mentioned about was wrong, because I'm single. I've learned all this from my friends who have gotten married and are going through this.  I have had friends who have know and loved each other for 10 year, but still can't be together.

Now, I'm dying to get married, I choose to be married through an arrange proposal since I have grown to believe that it's not the love that matters initially, but how mature and understanding the couple is. If two people what to make a relationship work, then nothing can prevent them from making a marriage successful.

Just my thoughts!

 

people watch Ekta Kapoor serials in India...and thats why they get divorced...
I mean each character in each of her shows has at least been married twice...
for india divorcing is "the kool thing to do"

Great topic . Lets thrash it out more . Will return with my views .

Life is too short. I say go the divorce way, if there is nothing else you can do to make it work, no need to suffer in silence. 😳

I believe following are some of the reasons for increase in divorces….

The first and foremost is drastic fall in the tolerance levels, we are becoming more and more intolerant, and in couples also most of the small arguments ends up in fights, and this fights are breeding ground for separation.

Value System: in earlier times due to joint families, the value systems was not only intact but was practiced on daily basis as matter of routine, and their was emotional support system in place, today due to various factors people choose to stay alone and most of the times both the couples are working and hence the child is also left to care of baby sitter or nanny, hence the values are no more cherished or practiced.

Independence: In today world where both husband and wife are working, they are financially independent, this makes them feel that they can manage any situation and do not mind the drastic step of separation even when the things can be solved amicably.

Edited by Willows - 18 years ago

i feel divorces are arising cos there is less adjustment and compromise..
every onw wants their own life devoid of anyone's interference....
now in marriages its basically you and me,,,not we 😛 😛 😛

If the mind set is like that nothing works Divorce........Then you cant have a peaceful life.
You should always have it in your mind this is my family my husband and my kids you wont go for Divorce.a good human has to face all difficulties.God ahs given you one life one parents .why r u trying to have multiple life partner.Some gone cases will be there to whom we cant live at all,in such least  cases you can think abt that.

Trying to figure out why divorce rates are on the rise, I think these may be some, if not all the causes.

The most common cause are those centred around affective qualities of the relationship including communication problems. And with increasing lack of communications, a situation arises where it becomes like 'just two people growing apart'. And the communication problems lead to an array of situations connected with emotional erosion in the relationship - not being understood, feeling that needs are not being met, loss of affection and companionship, feeling lonely and unappreciated.

Sometimes it arises from expectations not being met. The couple had high expectations before marriage, but somehow, they were not realsed after marriage.

Another reason is infedility. This in turn leads to a breakdown of the emotional closeness and companionship dimensions of relationships that define marriage.

An important factor, especially with context to India is abusive behaviours and personality traits. Included in this category are alcohol and drug use problems, jealousy, dominance, immaturity, gambling , physical and emotional violence, and mental illness. Jealousy and dominance play a major role in broken marital relations. Often one takes his/her partner for granted, and expects him/her to do as he/she wants. One forgets that their partner is also an individual and requires a certain degree of space and freedom which should not be interfered with. Also a number of divorces arise due to physical violence and emotional abuse by any partner. And this abuse may not be limited to the spouse, but may extend to the children also.

Other factors like work pressure, financial problems, mental and physical illness also contribute. Most commonly it arises from disagreements over appropriate gender roles and the allocation of work and family tasks, and autonomy and independence in the relationship.

In India, interference from in laws leading to break up of marriages is also common.

divorce is a dreaded word for some, it is like virtually breaking a heart but for some it is very easy to walk away with you best companion without having any second thoughts, the reasons for high rise in divorce is this, attitude, today everyone is working and independent enough to fend for himself and hence the relationships have become like material things have it and dispose off when it ultility is over, every relationship today seems to have a expiry date though not predecided but in the process, i believe till the time values, attitudes do not change, we will become like any other developed society

hard hitting statement 👏but true👏,i totally agree with you for some people breaking off is as easy and for some one even the thought is shivering, i also agree with the expiry date, today the relationship are not long lasting due to various factors as already discussed by all of above. 

Edited by Willows - 18 years ago