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DIVORCES (Page 3)

JinK IF-Rockerz
JinK
JinK

Joined: 04 March 2005
Posts: 7040

Posted: 20 May 2005 at 10:00am | IP Logged

My parents were divorced when I was one and my sis was five. I've lived with my father till I was five and till now when I'm 12 I've been living with my mom. I agree that there are a lot of problems for children with divorced parents, but in turn it can also make them stronger for life's many other troubles.



Edited by JinK - 21 May 2005 at 5:56am

*Shona* IF-Rockerz
*Shona*
*Shona*

Joined: 06 March 2005
Posts: 6585

Posted: 20 May 2005 at 10:35am | IP Logged
Excellent Topic Pj!

Well as a lot of members pointed out, Lack of communication, lack of trust between each other, and lack of Time due to busy work schedules are the major reasons.

Lack of Communication: Not expressing your feelings regarding something and not telling your spouse about your feelings is one of the worst things you can do. Talking always, always, always helps. It helps you to get to know each other really well, understand each other, and can avoid many misunderstandings.

Lack of Trust: Not trusting your parter is another reason. If you cannot trust someone you love, then they might get frustrated because of this and this might lead to a disastrous end.

Lack of Time: The number of women in the workforce has increased and will keep increasing as time goes by, which means that both the husband and wife will be working. Job pressures and the pressure of getting work done might not leave a lot of time that they both could spend with each other. People need to make the effort to take out and spend some time with their spouses. Time is very important for communication! Smile

Future Impact: Its true that children with divorced parents have a higher chance of having unsuccessful relationships in their lives. However, it could also be possible that maybe these children will learn from their parents mistakes and not repeat it! For now, all we see is that the divorce rate is increasing rapidly, which is not good news.
samie IF-Rockerz
samie
samie

Joined: 22 November 2004
Posts: 5453

Posted: 20 May 2005 at 11:10am | IP Logged
so tru jas di
AALIYAH786 Goldie
AALIYAH786
AALIYAH786

Joined: 12 January 2005
Posts: 2188

Posted: 23 May 2005 at 5:55am | IP Logged

infact here in South Africa.................divorce was almost unheard of a few years ago amongst the Indians................but now in the 21st Century..............the Indians have the highest DIVORCE rate here in SA..............its published in the newspapers every saturday...............the results are almost shocking..........

Sometimes Divorce is inevittable...................especially when people have affairs etc..............but like Smisha mentioned earlier................the kids are effected the most...............its very sad when parents get divorced.............In my entire family...............There is only one couple that got divorced.................it was like something out of this world..................Generation after generation..................the first divorce..............

In my personal opinion..................i feel that our Indian people are loosing their Culture...................and trying to follow the Western way of life......................Partying and Drinking.................they are forgeting thier family values.................Infidelity is also becoming an everyday thing...............is common amongst woman these days................More woman are having affairs than men................previously it was more synonomous amongst the mens...............but times are changing.........

Also lack of communication....................Take a look at Hollywood for example.................people are getting divorced almost every month...................their marriage dont last more than five years..................Brad and Jen just got divorced.................Posh and Becks are on the verge of Divorce...............I wonder who's next?????????

RUPALV22 Senior Member
RUPALV22
RUPALV22

Joined: 07 December 2004
Posts: 539

Posted: 23 May 2005 at 9:31am | IP Logged

Well,I belive the basic reason behind divorce is DECREASED TOLERANCE & INCREASED EXPECTATIONS !

       Two individuals have been different right from the begining of the world but our grand parents didn't divorce however different their views were..but they actualy found out solutions to their problems by complete dedication to each other;they got married even without knowing each other but still could live a content life with understanding..if man said i need 70% of space wife said ok i'll do in 30% of space finally we have to make up for 100%.

      In our parent's generation education,awreness & perspective increased,woman wanted more from life than husband & family she started recognising need to be oneself...but it was difficult at social level so they suffered from depression & discontent in life..

      As the awareness grew & financial independence came in no one is now ready to compromise..their individuality..we want maximum from life probably at the cost of relationships..this is true not only bet husband & wife but everywhere ,joint family is vanishing,partnerships breaking & childrens moving on..

     Children are certainly to suffer at emotional security but they are finding resources elsewhere growing more matured..I'm shocked to read a 12yr old participating here..

     But we are heading for the society which'll be more practical,restless,fast paced with material gain....but probably unstable at emotional needs !  

peaches Goldie
peaches
peaches

Joined: 24 March 2005
Posts: 1021

Posted: 23 May 2005 at 12:56pm | IP Logged

This is so true!

The whole mentality of marriage is changing.  Before it people were committed to make a life long decision to make it work, not it's not thought of that way.

The mentality is "I'll give it a try, and if it doesn't work I'll find something else or someone else" 

I think marriage is not so much about love, but about understand, patience, respect, communitcation, and tolerance.

In the beginning people love the whole romance in a marriage and figure that's all they need, until reality sets in.

It's funny because, may be i'm clueless and whatever I mentioned about was wrong, because I'm single. I've learned all this from my friends who have gotten married and are going through this.  I have had friends who have know and loved each other for 10 year, but still can't be together.

Now, I'm dying to get married, I choose to be married through an arrange proposal since I have grown to believe that it's not the love that matters initially, but how mature and understanding the couple is. If two people what to make a relationship work, then nothing can prevent them from making a marriage successful.

Just my thoughts!

 

garammaxala7726 Goldie
garammaxala7726
garammaxala7726

Joined: 12 May 2005
Posts: 1319

Posted: 23 May 2005 at 3:21pm | IP Logged
people watch Ekta Kapoor serials in India...and thats why they get divorced...
I mean each character in each of her shows has at least been married twice...
for india divorcing is "the kool thing to do"
Aparna_BD IF-Dazzler
Aparna_BD
Aparna_BD

Joined: 01 July 2005
Posts: 4924

Posted: 05 January 2006 at 7:16pm | IP Logged
Great topic . Lets thrash it out more . Will return with my views .

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