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DIVORCES (Page 2)

anitha.b IF-Dazzler
anitha.b
anitha.b

Joined: 06 September 2004
Posts: 3509

Posted: 10 February 2005 at 2:42pm | IP Logged

Well Divorces are the last options in most of the cases..

One thing people should know is...who is most affected here...the kids...so they have to think and compromise or get a consultation. It is never so disrepectful or they will not fall down by that approach.

It is mainly because they do not have trust, faith or love or communication.

Communication is so important in any relationship. People should speak and both the person's should be willing to speak.

Many times grown ups act more kiddish than kids. Their stubborness is so tough that it is hard to convince them. Kids are eay to mould...elders are not...they think they know everything. That is where the problem lies..

Well if you are getting a divorce then I should say...you don't know few things and that is what caused the failure.

It is really sad that this happens. Couples are individuals and they should realize that they both have different personalities and not pose rules on each other...let things out and work out what are likes and dislikes.

Divorces in india and other countries are getting more common because now the women are getting to be more independent and also getting the support from their family to fight back insensitivity. Ofcourse it is the last solution again. Most of the parents will always say..we have to adjust and we have to bow and compromise...but to a limit..and then when it goes beyond that..the relation breaks.

Respect is very important in any relation. if u do not respect your spouse then the relation will not stand long if the other person is strong. If the other person is week then we can see social tortures...

Divorces are due to communication gap and not having faith, respect and love.

 



Edited by smisha - 10 February 2005 at 2:44pm

surnita Goldie
surnita
surnita

Joined: 20 May 2004
Posts: 1108

Posted: 10 February 2005 at 3:16pm | IP Logged
Girls are more educated now and not as submissive, whilst boys are still being spoiled by their mothers and cant compromise in marriage.  I know!  Im divorced!!!!
anitha.b IF-Dazzler
anitha.b
anitha.b

Joined: 06 September 2004
Posts: 3509

Posted: 10 February 2005 at 4:52pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by surnita

Girls are more educated now and not as submissive, whilst boys are still being spoiled by their mothers and cant compromise in marriage.  I know!  Im divorced!!!!

Yes that seems to be one good reason too. Sometimes husband is so protective about their family...they have so much of tough time in taking women as part of their family too....come on...women have left her parents for you...they should grow up.

I remember I had an alliance when I was in India. The guy was an NRI and a really ABCD...he was so like.."what ever my mom says"...just imagine...I am meeting this guy for the first time and he is just behind his mom all the time...god knows what will happen...after marriage...you got be kidding me...that was my thought...

I told this straight ahead to my parents and they laughed at me for this...they knew I was right and supported me.

 

Minnie IF-Rockerz
Minnie
Minnie

Joined: 20 September 2004
Posts: 8633

Posted: 10 February 2005 at 8:29pm | IP Logged

LOL smisha!! I know exactly what u mean.

        You girls have put all the reasons.But I feel the biggest reason in the increase is that now the give and take factor have decreased to a great extent.'I'll have my way always' is the worst thing that can happen in a marriage.

|Persephone| IF-Sizzlerz
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BollyCurry Director, BollyCurry Executive Director
Joined: 30 October 2004
Posts: 14343

Posted: 11 February 2005 at 8:44pm | IP Logged
well it depends...just not to be divorced u can't go on living in a relationship in which u r not comfortable...in some cases it is the only option left...u have to see the issues at hand in the couple...but divorce is a big thing for the kids...the worst part is the back n forth between the dad's house n mom's house...its like u have no home but its atleast better than seeing fights under the same roof every single night...but sometimes therapy is an option...u should atleast try to save the marriage...there has to be a compromise somewhere before u reach that stage but when parents divorce they should talk to the kids too or atleast think about them...in almost all divorce cases the kids suffer a lot...i am not saying that its bad or its good but they should think about everyone it will effect before making the decision......
anjali.nair IF-Rockerz
anjali.nair
anjali.nair

Joined: 06 April 2005
Posts: 6193

Posted: 20 May 2005 at 9:06am | IP Logged
Whether it's love marriage or arranged one the risk of divorce is the same. Today women are more educated and working so they have the guts to say no to abuse, infidelity and other common causes of divorce. We as a social animal is always afraid of what society says or what it will think. It's about time to think about yourself. I am no supporter of divorce. But if the relationship can be made better with good communication then a couple should surely try to save their marriage. But infidelity, abuse eyc. should never we forgiven.
chinti Goldie
chinti
chinti

Joined: 14 October 2004
Posts: 1492

Posted: 20 May 2005 at 9:17am | IP Logged

ur absolutely righte bluepink

i think divorces are the best solution, but one should keep it as a last resort..

its always better to try and sort out whatever the problems.

Children if any, will grow and wonder always whether everything possible was done to prevent this drastic step.

then again, if everything is done and still the couple can't stand each other, or can't compromise is it correct to stay together?..live a lie.?..maybe some can manage it..But i can't even imagine.

 

sukh IF-Rockerz
sukh
sukh

Joined: 19 November 2004
Posts: 5154

Posted: 20 May 2005 at 9:36am | IP Logged

to me i agree with all of u.  but what i like to say here is   preety much what the  luvya4ever says.............

well it depends...just not to be divorced u can't go on living in a relationship in which u r not comfortable...in some cases it is the only option left...u have to see the issues at hand in the couple...but divorce is a big thing for the kids...the worst part is the back n forth between the dad's house n mom's house...its like u have no home but its atleast better than seeing fights under the same roof every single night...but sometimes therapy is an option...u should atleast try to save the marriage...there has to be a compromise somewhere before u reach that stage but when parents divorce they should talk to the kids too or atleast think about them...in almost all divorce cases the kids suffer a lot...i am not saying that its bad or its good but they should think about everyone it will effect before making the decision........

 

cause i also agree on this. its affect on kids life for ever.  which can be woest night mare in their  lives .

 just my 2 cents.Embarrassed


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