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pj04

IF-Veteran Member

pj04

Joined: 02 September 2004

Posts: 1623

Posted: 09 February 2005 at 10:04am | IP Logged

Discussion of the week

 We are going to post one very controversial topic every week and invite your opinion on it. However I request you to follow a few basic rules

1) these are just opinions and do not reflect a person's moral/social/ idealogical values so please refrain from name calling and personal attacks

2) keep the post decent (some topics might be infuriating). rest assured they are from what we encounter in our daily life and we expect a honest , healthy and intellectual debate.

3)if you have any ideas for the topics...please forward them to the moderators.

         I hope you will take this opportunity to participate in this debate without being judgemental. Open mindedness and tolerance have been the greatest asset of this forum. Also please feel free to send us feedbacks if you would like to continue with these discussions or not.

Ok let's start: Our topic for this week is

                  DIVORCES/SINGLE PARENTHOOD.......WHY THE SUDDEN INCREASE?

          Recent surveys show that there has been a exponential increase in divorces, especially in family oriented societies like INDIA and MIDEAST. what do you think are the reasons of this increase, is it assertion of feminine power, changing lifestyle which is becoming more individualistic ,or simply more materialistic desires.what do you think will be the future impact of this on the society(surveys show that the offsprings of a broken marraige have higher incidence of having unsucessful relationships in thier own lives)

                   

   LET THE DISCUSSION BEGIN.....



Edited by pj04 - 09 February 2005 at 10:05am

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ruta

Goldie

ruta

Joined: 16 June 2004

Posts: 1019

Posted: 09 February 2005 at 1:17pm | IP Logged

yeah its true.every other hosehold holds a story of divorce...........

i would attribute the increasing rate of divorce cases to the fast paced lifestyle and the extreme level of stress prevelant in every person's life.Today, people have stress and workpressure at offices, deadlines to be met and so many things to be done in just 24 hours that sometimes they don't have enough time for their better halves which results in quarrels and tiffs which if not resolved ultimately lead to break-offs.

Children are sufferers whatever maybe the case...as for a child the love of both parents is equally important........and constant tiffs and seperation between their parents ake them very lonely and vulnerable and they often make the wrong choices due to absence of parental guidance.

nali476

Senior Member

nali476

Joined: 08 December 2004

Posts: 771

Posted: 09 February 2005 at 6:24pm | IP Logged

In my opinion, I think that women are finally realizing that first of all, their life does not end after marriage, and they are not suppossed to worship their husbands. they are finally realizing, mostly through the mass media, that their is help for divorced women out their, and society does not look down upon them.

Speaking from my personal experience. My family is from Pakistan, and their were times when my parents were really on bad terms. It was so bad, that me and my sisters actually told my mother to divorce him because my mom, me and my sisters did not need this crap from my dad, but she had told us that it is considered "bad" in our "culture" to divorce.

But I feel, that the new generation is growing up exposed to media such as television, and that amounts to the majority of changes in their belif system. I am not saying if this is for good or bad, but I do believe that if one is not happy in a marriage because of abuse or neglect, then divorce is a necessary step to end this.

Even though their have been studies pointing to the results that divorce has negative affects on children, if one just stops and thins about the fact that living in a violent home could have even worse consequences and effects on a child.

I, however, strongly don't promote divorces that are made without a valid reason.

*~puja~*

Senior Member

*~puja~*

Joined: 03 January 2005

Posts: 286

Posted: 09 February 2005 at 9:53pm | IP Logged
 the increase in divorce in india i believe is due to the fact that before people believe that they would get a bad name for getting a divorce, they wouldn't get a divorce because of society... but nowadays there is no problem like that... i also believe that women are more confident to lead their life the way want and maybe the relationships that their parents forced on them they don't want to keep... these could be some of the reasons for the increase... i believe that marriage isn't something that should be taken lightly... and divorce should be the last option, but its never a solution

Selina

IF-Sizzlerz

Selina

Joined: 29 December 2004

Posts: 10102

Posted: 09 February 2005 at 11:11pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by *~puja~*

 the increase in divorce in india i believe is due to the fact that before people believe that they would get a bad name for getting a divorce, they wouldn't get a divorce because of society... but nowadays there is no problem like that... i also believe that women are more confident to lead their life the way want and maybe the relationships that their parents forced on them they don't want to keep... these could be some of the reasons for the increase... i believe that marriage isn't something that should be taken lightly... and divorce should be the last option, but its never a solution

I agree with you Puja, divorce should always be the last option.

nishi

IF-Dazzler

nishi

Joined: 16 June 2004

Posts: 3194

Posted: 10 February 2005 at 12:27am | IP Logged

I feel in most of the cases the causes for divorce are :

ppl do not speak to each other

they believe in whatever crap other or so called wellwishers say abt the other person involved

ppl do not trust each other

suddenly everone becomes sherlock holmes and star spying abt the other

workpressure /office timings etc add to the fact that they do not get quality time to spend with each other

and nowadays women have realised that tey need not be doormats to their husbands and whatever their husbands do /say is not always correct

now since divorce is a common issue it has become much more common to have one

they dream of a perfect life but refuse to accept the truth

but I bet that kids are the silent sufferors coz they did not do anything but have to suffer a lot coz of their parents .

I wouls like to emphsise that even though divorce is not uncommon it should be the last option .but also there is no point in suffering the whole life with a person whom you do not like or cannot live with .

and last but not the least ,marriage is not a childs game so better think n number of times rather than marrying and then divorce coz that leaves a scar in your heart

Rifhat

Goldie

Rifhat

Joined: 29 August 2004

Posts: 1041

Posted: 10 February 2005 at 6:41am | IP Logged
Originally posted by nishi

I feel in most of the cases the causes for divorce are :

ppl do not speak to each other

they believe in whatever crap other or so called wellwishers say abt the other person involved

ppl do not trust each other

suddenly everone becomes sherlock holmes and star spying abt the other

workpressure /office timings etc add to the fact that they do not get quality time to spend with each other

and nowadays women have realised that tey need not be doormats to their husbands and whatever their husbands do /say is not always correct

now since divorce is a common issue it has become much more common to have one

they dream of a perfect life but refuse to accept the truth

but I bet that kids are the silent sufferors coz they did not do anything but have to suffer a lot coz of their parents .

I wouls like to emphsise that even though divorce is not uncommon it should be the last option .but also there is no point in suffering the whole life with a person whom you do not like or cannot live with .

and last but not the least ,marriage is not a childs game so better think n number of times rather than marrying and then divorce coz that leaves a scar in your heart

Good Valid points and will  add to that :

Couples are not ready to understand and give and take or have patience in their relationships which leads to misconceptions and no faith.

Rifhat

~LiL*PrInCeZ~

IF-Sizzlerz

~LiL*PrInCeZ~

--

Joined: 20 October 2004

Posts: 11310

Posted: 10 February 2005 at 2:01pm | IP Logged

divorce iznt az bad 4 da couple (ex coupe?) az it iz 4 da kidz.............

da 2 ppl get over each other after a while.......but wat abt da kidz.......dey dun get da luv of both parentz at da same timeeeeeeeee

 

divorce iz da last resort.........

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