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MN FF - Pride and Prejudice (Upd - Pg.48) 1/12 <3 (Page 6)

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bhavana92

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bhavana92

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Posted: 03 September 2010 at 5:09am | IP Logged
ok, i promised that i'll comment earlier than this, but well.....
wow gal! what a start! u've literally started this with a bang!
i love the style of writing....i can also imagine the effort u've put 2 adapt this[maybe reading that book again n again might've helped ya...] but believe me, this is one of a kind!
i loved the descriptions of all the 3 Bhushan Siblings equally!
everything was brought out weel, be it Gunjan's innocence, Nupur's simplicity or Dia's bubbliness...
hehe! i like the the teeny bit of humour associated with Mrs.Bhushan's personality, thi she's damn irritatating!
also interesting is Mr.Bhushan's silent & patient attitude...i feel a hint of sarcasm is gonna surface soon in him...
awesome on the whole!Clap

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epiphany.

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epiphany.

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epiphany.

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Posted: 04 September 2010 at 2:37pm | IP Logged
*Reserved* =]

*edited*

@rimi1707 - Thanks a lot, Deby!! Yeah . . I will make sure I do not leave this incompleted. =)

@-Mansi- - Yeah, it was long. Don't worry, I would try and update longer chapters. =) Thank you!

@Jake-neil - Jake Bhai, that's quite HUGE a compliment. Thank you so very much. =))

@-Daania- - Man, I so glad you like it. Embarrassed Thanks a million. And the first line . . well, I feel the same. LOL

Thanks for believing in me, I'd work hard on this one. =))

@dmgmjht4ever - Nikki, you fantasized yourself? Shocked Oh, well . . cool. I am honored. Thanks a lot!! Big smile

@Alisha-MJHT - My version if P&P only has the story deviated, the words are almost the same. Anyways, thank you very much! =)

@tellcrazy: Hey, thanks for reading and commenting. I love P&P too, and I really hope I live up to everybody's expectation. Thank you. Embarrassed

@-Ishaan- - Thank you very much, I hope these keep you busy. LOL

@ramsha.aslam - Hey, thanks for reading and commenting!! I am glad you liked it, keep reading and commenting. Thank you. =))

@Senny - Hey, I am like waiting for you to comment all the time. Embarrassed Thank you!! =))

TO EVERYBODY ELSE AND ALL THE SILENT READERS :---



I am sorry to have not replied individually. Embarrassed

AND NOW -

I dedicate this to Bhavana (bhavana92) . . her college starts tomorrow and she's ready for a  four year long sainthood without IF!! Wishing you all the very best, Bhanu! Love you! Hug





-Kanky
Big smile



Edited by -Kanky- - 05 September 2010 at 2:54am

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Posted: 04 September 2010 at 2:50pm | IP Logged

(Credit: -Aish129-)


Chapter Two:

 

When Gunjan and Nupur were alone, the former who had been cautious with her praise of Samrat Shergill before, expressed to her sister how very much she admired him. "He's the perfect kind of guy," said she, "I haven't come across anybody as good humored and sensible, such happy manners, so much ease, and with such perfect breeding!"

 

"And he lives on his multi-millionaire father's riches which makes him a lot richer than us and he's jobless and he is handsome." Nupur added.

 

 

 

"I am very much flattered by his asking me for dance not just once or twice but thrice!" Gunjan exclaimed, ignoring her sister's sarcastic comment. "I had expected that, and I am as much flattered as you are." Nupur replied.

 

"Compliments always take you by surprise, not me. That's that! What would be more natural than him asking you over and over again? He could not help seeing that you were five times as pretty as every other woman at the party. Well, he certainly is agreeable, and I give you the leave to like him. Even though he's workless, you've liked much a stupider person." Nupur said and shot her sister a semi-sarcastic look.

 

"Don't call him workless." Gunjan mourned and pulled up her covers.

 

With the spectacles at the end on her nose, Nupur read a novel. Her face changed expressions as she turned every page of it. Her eyes brought about the various emotions penned by the author in the novel. She started with a smile playing on her lips, which seemed like the softest and most delicate things ever and ended with tears rolling down her cheeks, landing on the page of the book, precisely where the words "I love you" were printed.

 

Tears still lurking out of her eyes, she switched off the table lamp and removed her spectacles. This can't be happening, Nupur. Don't do this to yourself! She thought as she lay wide awake in bed.

 

    ____________________________________________________________

 

"You've had enough, Samrat. No more!" commanded Mayank, replacing his laptop on the table. "Just one more," pleaded Samrat as he gulped in another shot. "I've just had five of them no!" he cried.

 

"Five are quite a lot for you, brother," said Samrat's younger sister, Suhaani and passed on a glass of water to Mayank. "Water!" she said and curled her lips.

 

Mayank nodded at her and smiled softly. He snatched the glass away from Samrat. "Enough." He commanded, and commanded for the last time.

 

"Okay," Samrat pouted. "So, you liked any of the girls at the party?" he continued after Suhaani left. "No my friend, I certainly did not." He replied.

 

"Precisely as I had expected, but you did dance with the second Bhushan daughter, did you not?" he asked raising his brows.


"Yes, I did. She wasn't a punishment to stand up with." He said, putting his laptop aside.

 

"I see. Hey, wait a second . . . you should have seen the eldest Bhushan daughter, Gunjan! She's the most beautiful creature I've ever met with." He exclaimed.

 

"I know, and you were all eyes at her. She's your kind. Wait ' before you bother to say anything further, no ' I do not mean that Nupur Bhushan is my kind. She is tolerable." He said.

 

"I would not be as fastidious as you are." cried Samrat. "Upon my honor, I have not met with much pleasanter girls in my life, as I have this evening; and there were several of them you saw uncommonly pretty." He added.

 

"You were dancing with the only beautiful girl in there ' do not forget that." Said Mayank, still not convinced.

 

"She indeed is the most beautiful person I have ever beheld! But one of her sisters, you danced with is pretty as well. In fact, the youngest of them all looks decent too."

 

"I repeat, Nupur Bhushan was tolerable, and Dia well, is too young and mouthy to be a young woman of my interest," Mayank said and glanced at the clock hanging on the wall, painted sapphire. "It's quite late now, really late in fact! Don't waste your time here with me and vex yourself. Go to bed, goodnight!" Mayank said and made way upstairs, to his room.

 

     _________________________________________________________

 

Early next morning, Nupur who lay awake in bed got up and headed to the bathroom. Ironically, she was the first person to wake up that Sunday. The sun shined brightly, the birds were chirping their sweet melody however, even though it was a perfect day to sit back and relax, the roads were busy and the honking disturbed her ears.

 

Nupur left for jogging much before anybody was awake. It was half past six. As she marched toward the park, she could see around a number of women just like her mother. Their continuous gossiping made her sick.

 

She jogged, jogged and jogged some more until she was tired to death. As she was slowly walking back home and enjoying the cold breeze that lifted her hair in it and caressed her cheeks, she brushed past somebody and lost balance. The consequences proved to be real unfortunate ' at both ends.

 

The person, who happened to be Mayank Sharma, the vain man she met a night before helped her stand up on her feet, as she had had a terrible fall. Mayank let go off her hand and she thanked him to have helped her.

 

She carefully picked up his cell phone; he'd dropped and handed it over to him. "Thanks, is it hurting?"

 

"No." she flatly said.

 

"Alright, well, bye." He said and left before she could make any replies.


What an indifferent man, he is! Couldn't he escort me back home, he just sprained my ankle?! She thought and cursed him. After a while, she realized that she had herself told him it did not hurt, but well it did.

 

     ________________________________________________________

 

Within a short walk lived a family with whom the Bhushans were particularly intimate. Mr. Pal had made a tolerable fortune in trade and risen to the peak of glory and honor. He had a family of six people, he, his wife and their four children.

 

Mrs. Pal was a very good kind of woman, not too clever to be a valuable neighbor to Mrs. Bhushan.  Her eldest daughter, Tamanna was a sensible, simple and intelligent young woman of about twenty-five, was Nupur's intimate friend.

 

Later that morning, Mrs. Bhushan and her daughters went to see the Pals. Nupur sat heavily on the couch and rested her sprained foot on a pillow kept on the table. "Ouch, it hurts!" she screamed in pain.

 

Everybody but Gunjan and Tamanna ignored her scream and continued talking while Tamanna passed on an ointment to her. "You were Mr. Shergill's first choice last night, Tamanna." Mrs. Bhushan said to Tamanna.

 

"Yes ' but he seemed to like his second choice, better." She replied.

 

After ten minutes of conversing with Mrs. Bhushan, Tamanna turned her back at her and glanced at Nupur, "Nupur how did you like Mayank Sharma? He was the only fellow you danced with, apart from Samrat?"  She asked.

 

"He's eaten up with pride."

 

"He's not worth being talked about, girls. Upon my words! He really is a disagreeable and proud fellow. I dare say, he dint open his mouth throughout. He could have conversed with Mrs. Verma but he preferred sitting next to her there for an hour without once opening his lips." Mrs. Bhushan interrupted.

 

"Are you quite sure, Mama? I did see him talking. Not to Mrs. Verma but Nupur." said Gunjan. "I certainly saw him."

 

To this, Mrs. Bhushan made no reply.

 

"Suhaani told me," continued Gunjan "that he never speaks much unless among his intimate acquaintances. With them, he is remarkably agreeable."

 

"I don't believe a word of it, my dear. And since, Nupur was the only girl he'd danced with, I shall let you know that if ever we discover him having feelings for her, it would be highly unfortunate on her part."

 

After this, Mrs. Bhushan and her youngest daughter left and the elder Ms. Bhushans were left alone with Tamanna in the living room.

 

"I dare say, that his pride does not offend me," said Tamanna, "so much as often does, because there is an excuse for it. One cannot wonder that so very fine a young man, with family, fortune and everything in his favor, should think highly of himself. If I may express it, he has a right to be proud."

 

"Very true," replied Nupur. "And I could have easily forgiven his pride, if he had not mortified mine."

 

    ____________________________________________________________

 

The Shergills soon waited on those of the Bhushan household. Their visit was returned in due form. The Bhushan girls' pleasing manners grew on the goodwill of Mrs. Ray and Suhaani Shergill, and though their mother was found to be intolerable.

 

The two eldest were talked to the most. By Gunjan, this attention was received with a greater pleasure while Nupur made out superciliousness in their treatment to everybody.

 

Mayank, who had been witnessing the ladies from a distance in the garden couldn't keep his eyes of her. The tolerable girl as he put it was quite simple and ordinary in looks and she wasn't affable to him, as to everybody else; still he had started developing a feeling for her.

 

She was just another girl, but ironically, she was thought about with a different prospective by the man she had started despising only within two meetings.

 

Mayank had never been enchanted by somebody's eyes before. He wondered, how he had never noticed how beautiful she was. Her simplicity and dignified nature were bewitching him. She was surely not the most beautiful woman he'd even seen however, she was the only girl who he had thought about so much. Whom he had wanted so much and maybe, he had ever loved so much. She was different and that precisely was why even a man like himself couldn't help but admire her for that.

 

Four days in the neighborhood, two face to face encounters and one strong feeling!


                                                  *****************************************



Edited by -Kanky- - 06 September 2010 at 4:18am

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Posted: 04 September 2010 at 3:24pm | IP Logged
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Alisha-2887

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Posted: 04 September 2010 at 3:48pm | IP Logged
Great update Kanky. Look forward to reading the next part. Please continue soon and thanks for the pm.

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epiphany.

Senny

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Posted: 04 September 2010 at 3:53pm | IP Logged
Hey Kanky,

You are a beautiful writer and all your stories have a wonderful smooth flow. Here as well the way you took us from the sisters interesting conversation then to the ever so contrasting guys talk hehe and then again to the family scenes. Each part was written so clearly that any reader could connect well. I loved the way you concluded with Mayank subconciously being drawn towards Nupur or possibly conciously hehe!

Keep it up! Wonderful update!

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Nirvrithiepiphany.

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Posted: 04 September 2010 at 4:04pm | IP Logged
awesome update
loved it
beautifully written
cant wait 2 read more
con soon
thanks 4 da pm

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epiphany.

Beet

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Beet

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Posted: 04 September 2010 at 4:32pm | IP Logged
Kanks, =]
 
You are a brilliant writer. Your stories have this smooth flow in them. The way you move from one scene to another so easily and make it seem good is just brilliant.
 
All the conversations and the views that each of them hold for another was a very interesting read. And well, good to see that somewhere, somehow Mayank is possibly falling for Nupur.
 
Amazingly written Kanks.=D
Do continue soon. I know you just updated and I'm asking you to continue soon, but it's just that, I love this story way too much. Big smile
 
All the best.
Loads of love
Daania


Edited by -Daania- - 04 September 2010 at 4:33pm

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