Dill Mill Gaye


Dill Mill Gaye
Dill Mill Gaye

(Siddhima) The Walls Crumble

arp04srocks IF-Dazzler

Joined: 07 November 2008
Posts: 4543

Posted: 25 August 2010 at 3:46pm | IP Logged


Isn't it funny how we can become so focused on what's to come ahead that we forget to pause and enjoy the moments we have now?  How we always seem to end up looking out towards the horizon and miss what's standing closest to us.  It's as though we are farsighted and only what is far from is in focus and clear while the up close stuff is blurry.  I feel this is exactly how Ridz has been walking through life since she became comfortable with knowing what Sid feels for her.  You see for the longest time Ridz was fighting for Sid and for him to tell her he wanted her in his life.  And after that uphill battle was won she knew that nothing could ever separate the two of them.  They had gone to hell and back, and survived.  I personally don't really blame Ridz for what has gone down of late.  She has focused on trying to help Armaan to appease her guilt.  And if we were honest with ourselves many of us would be doing the same.  You see guilt is a heavy burden to be carrying, it is something that overshadows everything in your life.  And until it becomes relieved all else seems dulled.  Now when I say this I don't mean to say that Ridz doesn't care about Sid or that she is so focused on project Armaan that Sid has taken a backset.  You see if you look at it from RIdz's viewpoint you realize that the only reason she is able to focus on Armaan is because Sid is standing beside her giving her strength. 


See Ridz has been slowly morphing from the woman that holds everything inside and run away and cries on the fireescape to a woman who shares her every thought with her husband.  The old Ridz, the one that was unsure of how Sid felt about her would never have even mentioned Armaan's name in front of him for fear of the pain it would have caused him.  Instead she accept the insults and doubts Sid hurled at her as he accused her of being in love with her ex and marrying him out of duty.  She carried around the knowledge that Armaan and her were never going to be and that it didn't matter whether her and Sid would be together or not.  You see this Ridz fought the world in silence, she kept all her htoughts and feelings locked up inside and the only time they were released was when she was pushed too far.  Whne her world was threatened, or those she loved were threatened.  But this new Ridz.  The one that is Mrs. Riddhima Modi, confident in the love her husband showers her with and in the knowledge that her marriage is cherished by both of them doesn't feel the need to hide anything from her husband.  Unfortunaltey for her the something that is occupying her mind of late is her ex.  And if you go back to the scene where her and Sid were sitting on the couch and waiting for phone calls from Shilpa and Armaan.  Ridz was worried about Armaan, but at first she didn't say it out loud.  She kept it to herself because she didn't want Sid to get the wrong impression.  But then when she accidently let it slip that, "Why hasn't Armaan called? I hope he's alright."  She immediately tried to retract it, but Sid comforted her by letting her know that he has accepted all of her and that includes her past. 


It was from that moment on that Ridz has removed the filter of her thoughts when she is around Sid.  See in that moment Sid proved to her that he loves her unconditionally.  That no matter what she thought, or whom she thought about he would always stand beside her.  He would understand.  And that has lead the hungama we have been watching, where all the interactions between Sid and Ridz have all focused around Armaan.  You see, as far as Ridz is concerned Sid gets it.  And because he gets it they are good.  She doesn't have to worry about their marriage or her husband.  Well as we have been privileged with seeing how neglected Sid has been feeling, Ridz unfortunately has not seen that side of Sid.  As I've said before, Sid is the silent realist.  He keeps it all inside and covers up his insecurities, his neglected feelings, his hurt with a smile so that she doesn't feel any more burden on herself.  Do I think that's wrong? Hell no, I think it's beyond adorable.  But by doing so he has pulled a curtain over Ridz's eyes.  He has covered the pain he has been feeling and thus she has not had the chance to reassure him or to change the way she has been acting.


But as I've said before, Sid will put up with a lot until he finally cracks.  And once he cracks it will all come out.  That is exactly what happened today.  Sid was willin to play consoler to Ridz up until the point where she chose sulking about Armaan sulking rather than go to the birthday party of their good friend.  You notice, Sid was fine with Ridz being worried about Armaan, heck he even tried to reassure her by letting her know that he had a talk with him and that everything would be all right.  But Ridz is a stubborn one and we all know it, she also thinks she knows best so she of course disregarded Sid's reassurances.  Well it was the final straw and Sid's wall broke and he finally told her what he has been feeling.  He told her that she has become obsessed with Armaan to the point that neither her friends nor her husband mean anything. And if you watch Ridz's face she becomes shocked at the words Sid has spoken.  HE then continues to say that why does Armaan get to dictate the way we live life?  And she does try to respond she says, That's not what I meant.  I thought you understood.  You see the reason Ridz has been pouring out her thoughts to Sid is because he said he understood.  But then Sid goes on to say that he does understand.  But he's tired of understanding.  He no longer wants to play not just second fiddle, but last. Oh wait, he doesn't even really know if her matters to her at all.  And after delivering his heartbreaking words he walks away.


Now I know many of you are probably wondering why didn't Ridz just yell out her love for him.  Why didn't she try harder then a weak, "Sid".  Come on, think about it.  Here you are going through your life thinking that everything on the home front is all hunky dory.  That your husband who has stood by you through the worst life has to offer gets you and has accepted not only you unconditionally but your need to make everything all right for everyone.  Only to find out that the reality is that he has been hiding his feelings from you.  That he has been harboring some serious pain in his heart.  Do I think this is all Sid's fault? Heck no.  In fact, Ridz should have sensed the pain she was causing her husband, but Ridz is Ridz.  She's kind of dense and she sometimes needs to be hit in the face with shock in order for her to realize the impact her actions have been having on those near her, especially Sid.  So today as Sid spilled his heart out to sure she didn't speak in words.  But did you watch her face? Did you see it transform from shock, to pain to heartbreak at the pain she was causing Sid.  Oh I mean just look at her face right after Sid delivers the lines, "Maybe I don't mean anything at all". Can I just say that it was at that point that my heart broke for these two.  Well for Sid because he has been trying so hard to be understanding and mature for his wife.  And for Ridz because she had no clue the pain she was causing her loving husband.  You see Ridz loves Sid.   It's simple.   And then as he walks away she just stands there and tears pour out of her eyes.  Those were tears of love, they were tears of a wife who had come to the realization of the pain she has been causing her husband.  As crazy as it sounds, Ridz never even thought she was hurting Sid with her need to fix Armaan's life.  She thought he was fine with it and she knew he wanted the same thing to.  But today when Sid finally told her what he was feeling, you saw immediate remorse for what her actions was causing him.  I truly believe that this conversation with Sid, okay more like monologue, is what Ridz needed to hear.  She didn't need to say anything because Sid knows she loves him, Sid knows that he is the one she wants to be with.  What needed to come from this convo was that Ridz needed to realize that her obsession was costing her big.  That she needs to let go of her need to play fixer upper and concentrate on her life.


So I leave with this...Siddhant Modi like I haven't said it enough times already, I Love You.  You had every right to scream and shout what did you do?  You simpy poured your heart out in words of anguished.  Never once did you accuse Ridz of anything, you simply voiced how you wonder if you mean anything at all.  Here's a big hug from me to you.  And Riddhima Modi, you too get a hug.  Not because you are right, but because I know you heart broke with each word Sid spoke.  You hurt because he hurt.  You felt each moment of neglect and unwanting that he did.  But I do hope now your obsession will at least die down a little.  I know its too much to hope for you to simply ignore it and let Armaan figure it out for yourself, but can you at least spare a few moments in the day and give them to Sid and Sid alone.


I don't know what is in store at JPs party, except Shilpa trying to salsa Dil To Pagal Hai style, and Armaan standing in a dance pose that really looks more like a fighter's stance while Shilpa finishes her 1000th circle.  I guess we'll just have to wait and watch. (Really no offense meant by this, but I couldn't get over that shot, made me laugh so I thought I'd share)


PS I'd just like to remind all that this scene was meant just as much for Armaan as it was for Sid and Ridz.



Edited by arp04srocks - 25 August 2010 at 3:47pm

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petrichorr IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 21 April 2010
Posts: 10356

Posted: 25 August 2010 at 3:58pm | IP Logged
Lovely post! Thouroughly enjoyed readin it...
I agree that RM was able to focus and work on her project "Get Armaa's life back in shape" only due to her husband's unconditional love for her..but I feel she did go overboard.
Her husband did voice his unhappiness before he left for delhi. She did sense his hurt then.  She shouldve adjusted her priorities right then or after the street fight,.
But when still she kept harping about Armaan today it did trigger  Sid's outburst.

Edited by prejudiced - 25 August 2010 at 4:01pm

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ShiningStar18 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 22 October 2009
Posts: 7441

Posted: 25 August 2010 at 4:05pm | IP Logged

Fantabulous post Arp.Clap

Sid's exposure of his feelings had become necessary because as you mentioned,Riddhima needs a bang on realization to make her understand her mistake. Agreed that she let out all her feelings to her husband because she knew he would understand like always but what she didn't realize was that her husband also wants some time which is only for him. Which no one is allowed to share.
In all the drama,she forgot the pain she was transferring to her husband.
JP's party was just a simple excuse which caused Sid's hurt to increase and turn into pain. What he did was right.
Looking at the precap,i still don't think she understood what her husband had wanted to make her realize.
She still 'looked' jealous(sorry couldn't think of any other word to describe the emotion) seeing Armaan and Shilpa.

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luvarti IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 09 June 2009
Posts: 12760

Posted: 25 August 2010 at 4:06pm | IP Logged

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hewascool90210 IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 20 March 2010
Posts: 21357

Posted: 25 August 2010 at 4:07pm | IP Logged

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AnnaNAshley IF-Rockerz

Joined: 19 March 2010
Posts: 6167

Posted: 25 August 2010 at 4:10pm | IP Logged
uffff i am still drooling over your statements and thinking how can anyone possibly write something so beautifully and depict everything..... Wow you stole it for me..its been long since my ideas have changed bcs of someone else's and wow you changed mine for sure.Sucha beautiful post arps and i am glad i read it wow.........

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desigrl05 IF-Sizzlerz

I-F Crazy Creatives
Joined: 09 July 2007
Posts: 20135

Posted: 25 August 2010 at 4:18pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by arp04srocks


  Oh I mean just look at her face right after Sid delivers the lines, "Maybe I don't mean anything at all".

I was in shock when he said this...its sad, but it needed to be said

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Lennie IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 30 November 2004
Posts: 35474

Posted: 25 August 2010 at 4:36pm | IP Logged

Arp wonderful take on your post, i love how you get Ridz, its how i see her but you understand her way better and put her across so simply

I think my heart broke the way you wrote about Ridz and she so does suffer, that we all dont seem to see or bother to see her pov, and she has suffered alot, and thats something i find that Sid also sees and i cant see her suffering again and that too over Armaan, coz for Armaan she has suffered for so long, Sid had seen all this
And i so agree that Ridz face said everything today, the way her face transformed from realisation to hurt to pain
The moment she realised it that Sid has been hiding his pain was when Sid said that unfortunately he understands bit, Ridz face flickered a realisation that Sid had been hurting along, and had been in pain and feeling like this for ages and then saw why he thought that as he said he seems to be last for her, or didnt even matter to her, and you see the pain piercing through Ridz, her eyes showed her pain, not coz Sid hurt her and it wasnt meant to hurt Sid that wasnt Sid intention, she felt Sid's pain on what he is feeling
SR are ppl that feel each other's hurt and pain, isnt that what Soulmates are
The thing i love about Sid is he will keep it all inside of him, his pain, his hurt and his suffering and wouldnt burden Ridz with it, on top of everything but Sid cracked esp as you saw how the scene built up to the moment it caused Sid to say something and let it out
As you say Ridz thought since Sid gets it and her, she thought nothing is getting in the way of her marriage and her and Sid, so off she was doing her project with Sid supporting her, and its only Sid's acceptance and unconditional love that he fills Ridz up on, that gives her strength and confidence to do what she has been doing and being concerned on Armaan
Ridz guilty and Armaan still living like this is getting her down, she thinks its her fault, and when you think its your fault you feel alot, and thats how Ridz is feeling and thats natural
All Sid wants is that Ridz does fully concertrate on Armaan, but sees that other ppl esp him, her husband also needs her
I do feel Ridz concern will overtake again, because this time she is seeing new Armaan which i dont think she will believe that he is moving on, as its sudden and what he is doing and seems odd suddenly, so this new Armaan is giving her more to be worried and concerned about, not her fault again
Lets not forget Ridz sees the Armaan who is in pain, and refuses to talk to her properly and meet her eyes

Edited by Lennie - 26 August 2010 at 7:45am

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