Why I am on Ahem's side... - Page 2

Posted: 13 years ago
agree with u on some points like gopi shud be confident and shud stand up for herself when she is right instead of just stand there like zoombie and cry... 

but aham is more at fault.  koki knew from beginning that gopi is illiterate and Aham hates illiterate ppl and even heltal has also told koki that she shud think twice before fixing this alliance..  then also koki went ahead and hide this big fact from aham and married them..  so why blame gopi for being illiterate since his mom is at fault...    aham was in love and aham didnt had guts to tell his mom then its not gopi's fault.  on top of that koki also knew aham was in love still she choose gopi so again gopi is not to be blamed..  

later when confronted, koki herself told her dikra that she knew gopi was illiterate and yet she has chosen her dikra then why Aham being stubborn...   if he doesnt love gopi then fair enough, but atleast respect her not as ur wife then as ur mother DIL since ur mom has chosen her for u... 

there are pros and cons but if aham acts bit maturely and gopi acts with confidence then everything will fall in place... 
Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by prikiashi


agree with u on some points like gopi shud be confident and shud stand up for herself when she is right instead of just stand there like zoombie and cry... 

but aham is more at fault.  koki knew from beginning that gopi is illiterate and Aham hates illiterate ppl and even heltal has also told koki that she shud think twice before fixing this alliance..  then also koki went ahead and hide this big fact from aham and married them..  so why blame gopi for being illiterate since his mom is at fault...    aham was in love and aham didnt had guts to tell his mom then its not gopi's fault.  on top of that koki also knew aham was in love still she choose gopi so again gopi is not to be blamed..  

later when confronted, koki herself told her dikra that she knew gopi was illiterate and yet she has chosen her dikra then why Aham being stubborn...   if he doesnt love gopi then fair enough, but atleast respect her not as ur wife then as ur mother DIL since ur mom has chosen her for u... 

there are pros and cons but if aham acts bit maturely and gopi acts with confidence then everything will fall in place... 
 
that is exactly what i don't understand about Ahem..........why so much hate and disrespect for someone that had nothing to do with anything. if anything try to be each others friends, I am sure Gopi would rather have that.
Posted: 13 years ago
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Although I am not an Ahem supporter neither am I Gopi sympathiser.
Why I don't like Ahem -
He is an arrogant, over pampered mama's boy. He was not man enough to stand up against Koki and tell her that he wanted to marry Anita. If he trusted his mom so implicitly why does he not trust her judgement in Gopi's case? His blind faith in his mom is responsible for his present condition. He is making Gopi suffer for his and Koki's mistakes.
 
Why I don't like Gopi -
For all the reasons you sited above.😊 She is stupid beyond my understanding. Stupidity and illiteracy are two different things. There are many illiterate ppl who are smart enough to look after themselves. Here if by any chance Gopi becomes literate, she would still be suffering same fate .
Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by monalidp


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</div>
<div>Although I am not an Ahem supporter neither am I Gopi sympathiser.

Why I don't like Ahem -

He is an arrogant, over pampered mama's boy. He was not man enough to stand up against Koki and tell her that he wanted to marry Anita. If he trusted his mom so implicitly why does he not trust her judgement in Gopi's case? His blind faith in his mom is responsible for his present condition.He is making Gopi suffer for his and Koki's mistakes.

</div>
<div>Why I don't like Gopi -

For all the reasons you sited above.😊She is stupid beyond my understanding. Stupidity and illiteracy are two different things. There are many illiterate ppl who are smart enough to look after themselves. Here if by any chance Gopi becomes literate, she would still be suffering same fate .


I am telling you all this is because Aham is fighting his feelings for Gopi. She represents everything he thought he hated in a woman and now he is stuck with her and on top of it all he is developing feelings for her. He is fighting his attraction to her by being mean to her. His reaction is not very mature..but a sign of a selfish, spoiled mama's boy.

I created another threat regarding "Aham fighting his feelings" for Gopi. do check it out.Edited by lovtv - 13 years ago
Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by lovtv




I am telling you all this is because Aham is fighting his feelings for Gopi. She represents everything he thought he hated in a woman and now he is stuck with her and on top of it all he is developing feelings for her. He is fighting his attraction to her by being mean to her. His reaction is not very mature..but a sign of a selfish, spoiled mama's boy.

I created another threat regarding "Aham fighting his feelings" for Gopi. do check it out.
 
Yep. You're absolutely right.  They are also both very immature in a lot of ways and it reflects in all they do... and don't do. 
 
BTW - great discussion everyone!
Edited by saomom - 13 years ago
Posted: 13 years ago
Don't take this the wrong way, I was just analysing what u a are saying. I both agree and disagree with your statements. Sorry if I came out to harsh, but to totally blame Gopi for everything is also wrong. They are all equally part of the misery they are in Koki, Gopi, Ahem and Rashi.
 
Not at all. I welcome a healthy and polite discussion. And ofcourse opinions will vary - that is but natural. 😊
 
He wasn't forced into marriage, he choose to marry Gopi because that was what "his mother wanted".........he eats, sleeps, breaths when his mother wans. Actually it was Gopi who was forced into marriage, by Rashi's false statements. So as for adjusting, Ahem knew very well that he didn't want to marry not just Gopi but any girl besides Anita, yet he did it for his mother. Now whether that girl is uneducated, unwordly, or a simpleton, well he didn't look into that before marring..........if thing like that mattered to him that much that he has a hard time living under the same roof, then he should have made that clear with his mother on what he wants in a wife. One side he wants what his mother wants and otherside he wants what he wants. There is nothing wrong with a uneducated simple girl, stuff like that never mattered if you truely and honestly joined into marriage at ur own will.........Gopi also wanted a loving husband which she did not get i don't see her huffing and puffing...she actually wants to leave so that "he" can be happy..........)
 
Ahem married under duress, under coercion, from his mother. To my mind, that's still being forced, albeit in the guise of having to please his mother. Do I think Koki is at most fault here for creating the situation in the first place where Ahem would have to marry for hers, and her wishes alone? Absolutely, but that's another subject. Bottom line, in my opinion - any marriage you enter into as severely unhappily as Ahem, then it as good as forced marriage. I also think it's a bit of a stretch to assume that Ahem, (even though he didn't want to marry anyone else but his girlfriend) would have reacted texactly the same way as he does to Gopi, to a girl more to his liking. I personally believe men are readily changeable beings, bless them, lol, and time is a great healer - over the course of time, if the girl Ahem had been married to, was more compatible with him, then his behavior would not be what it is today, with Gopi. As for there being nothing wrong with an uneducated, simple girl, we're going to have to agree to disagree on that. (Personally, I am sick to death of indiansoaps constantly perpetuating stereotypessuch as this, that seemingly only simple, uneducated girls are the "good" ones. Notice how all the vamps are city girls!) For me, education is crucial in the making of a person, and very important to a marriage. It's not just about the ABC's, it becomes about shared experiences, of shared knowledge, something to bond over, something to feel pride in, something to pass on to your kids. What makes matters worse in Gopi's case is that she apparently doesn't seem to possess any brains either. So it's a no-win situation for Ahem, in my opinion. As for why Gopi doesn't huff and puff, maybe she ought to. It would certainly show some semblance of personality, lol. No, but jokesaside, if Gopi is into se;f sacrifice - that's on her. Not everyone else is though.
 
(why does a education and sophistication only make you worthy of a "good" wife?? He never gave the girl a chance. He came down to the level of calling her a servant!.....while his co-workers were more the impressed with Gopi.......We want a lot of things in our other half that we don't recieve. Just take Jigar for a example, he wanted a wife that he can trust and that can trust him, that is why he broke it off with Sonal, yet what did he get? A person that is more evil and dishonest. Rashi is educated and sophisticated probably equal footing for Ahem, but does that make her a good wife??? There are lots of other values and qualities that are far more important then being educated, and that is something that SNS teaches also. Educated Gawars and Uneducated genius!) 
 
I agree with you 100% the show is doing a good job of showing 'educated gawars' in the despicable Rashi. As for uneducated genuis? We'll have to disagree. Where are they? I suppose Mani. I also agree that there are values other than education, clearly, that make a person. Infact, I would never suggest that educated people='good' peopLE. That's preposterous, I mean, just look at the worlds leaders...😉. But the qualities you find in Gopi, I'm assuming of selflessness, and not complaining and patience, don't unfortunately translate that way to me, and apparently neither to Ahem. What comes across to me is sheer stupidity, rather than mere simpleness, sleflessness to the point of self deterimentation, and patience in the form of unnecessary copious amounts crying. Gopi is a passive person, but clearly this situation asked for a more proactive role than reactive. Your husband never gave you a chance? Prove him wrong! Make him hear you. Stop with the stammering "jee, jee, main", and speak your mind for once, girl.
 
However, to a certain point, this is who Gopi is, it is not her fault that she lacks these qualities completly. She was raised with a loud mouth mamiji that lacked any motherly love, she was always slaved by a cozin Rashi that showed Gopi her place that she is nothing every step of their life, she has a Sasuma that is over powering, over reacting boss that yells at Gopi for every small or big mistake, and She has a husband (the biggest of all) that think she is the throne in his life that he wishs would go way. After living such a life, can you expect a person to have any strength or confidence??)
 
You're right, a persons upbringing and circumstances have a lot to do with shaping who hey become. But similarly, circumstances, and life in general are great catalysts for a persons evolution as well. Especially in a girl as seemingly young as Gopi. She can and ought to adapt herself to altered circumstances, and if she doesn't realize the desperate urgency of doing so, then she's even a bigger fool than I thought she was.
 
Yes, they both did, more so Gopi then Ahem, her hopes and dreams are far from coming true..........just like Ahem, but its about giving a chance, which he never did to Gopi, "she is his toy that his mother gave"......who says that to a wife". )
 
I don't necessarily condone what Ahem said, but I can certainly understand where he's coming from from his POV. When you're lumped with someone who's basically the antithesis of verything you'd have looked for ina life partner, and then on top of that the life partner doesn't exactly mke things easier by proving the contrary, that she does have something to offer, and instead is basically a monotone, cookibg, cleaning machine on autoplay, then I can understand. Heck, I'd expect Gopi to feel the same way. Ahem is a workaholic automaton, not exactly the stuff dreams are made of. But where Ahem is being human, and humans are flawed beings, and expressing emotions such as frustration - I can therefore feel for him. Sympathize with him. Even realate to him. Gopi on the other hand is too unreal. Her self sacrifical martrydom is something I find it imposible to relate with, therefore I gind it difficult to sympathize with her.
 
totally agree, she is lacking a lot a qualities that would have saved her from a lot of grief...........but lets take it in another way.......can these qualites eventually make Ahem fall in love??? her honest, her innocence, selflessness and faith will one day do the magic we all are waiting for. We all would like her to have a backbone of some sort, but the qualites she has are not that bad either.)
 
I think I've sort of already addressed this, but just to sum up, I do believe Gopi posseses the qualities of honesty and innocence. But when those qualities work to the deteriment of ones character, they no longer remain qualities, in my opinion. I require my heroine to posses some brains, and in that, atleast for now, Gopi seems woefully lacking.
 
Look, at the end of the day, this is an indian soap. There are formulas they're going to follow. I fully expect Ahem to 'magically' fall in love with Gopi, and for the show to vindicate that yes, Gopi, being the perfect bharatiya naari of self sacrifice was the victim all along, and big bad Ahem was the villain all along for not recognizing the 'gem' he had right infront of her. I get that. I'm just waiting for the inevitable, and in the meantime thought I'd offer a varying opinion - an opinion that actually looks at the other side, and happens sympathises more with Ahem, rather than Gopi.
Posted: 13 years ago
Sesky, I like your style! What a great discussion. Thanks for showing us your POV on Ahem. I personally think, like Shelley, that he's fighting his feelings for Gopi. I can only imagine what it would be like to have an arranged marriage, let alone a marriage to someone who cries all the time! He's not perfect and neither is she. Somehow, they need to mature enough to meet in the middle.

Favorite comments from your post:


1. I also agree that there are values other than education, clearly, that make a person. Infact, I would never suggest that educated people='good' peopLE. That's preposterous, I mean, just look at the worlds leaders....

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2. When you're lumped with someone who's basically the antithesis of verything you'd have looked for ina life partner, and then on top of that the life partner doesn't exactly mke things easier by proving the contrary, that she does have something to offer, and instead is basically a monotone, cookibg, cleaning machine on autoplay, then I can understand.

This baffled me too. Yes, she's pretty and demure. That's two pluses. She cries non stop. That's 10 gajillion minuses. :)


3. I fully expect Ahem to 'magically' fall in love with Gopi, and for the show to vindicate that yes, Gopi, being the perfect bharatiya naari of self sacrifice was the victim all along, and big bad Ahem was the villain all along for not recognizing the 'gem' he had right infront of her.

Why is it that we all like to tie everything up into nice, neat little packages? Real life sometimes sucks! I guess that's why we watch the show. It's an escape mechanism from our real lives.

At any rate, I've enjoyed this discussion and would love to hear more members' points of view on this...
Edited by saomom - 13 years ago
Posted: 13 years ago
Thank you thank you,
 
This is one of the most relevant posts I have read here.
 
I do not support Ahem. Period.
 
But puleaze can a woman above 18 year not know that electronic equipments cannot be washed. And I don't accept the argument that she never saw a laptop. Does she wash television sets or mobile phones or even desk phone instruments in the house!!
 
I cannot fathom Gopi's characterisation. Simplicity and innocence can be shown even without turning someone into a caricature, which Gopi is.
 
And frankly Seeing Gopi, I doubt Koki's so called intelligence for wanting Gopi as a daughter in law.
 
And while we are at it....the actress playing Gopi is overwhelmingly inept at acting!!!. (No bashing please, this is just my view).
 
Ahem may be chauvinistic....but lets give him a break. Imagine one of us getting married to somone like Gopi.....oops!!
 
Edited by Kasturilover - 13 years ago
Posted: 13 years ago
bottom line is that from day one Ahem has shown cold vibes to Gopi, already creating a weak foundation. Ahem did have a choice on marrying, but he had to go against his mothers will. Understandable, if he had said fine mom I wont marry Anita, but don't force me to marry someone else. He didn't question on once on who and how the girl is, all he kept saying was "apki pasand mere pasand".......to me that is his mistake for not looking into it. If he is so against uneducated people, y didn't he make sure the girl was to his standards at least? That is where he is wrong. I personally don't know why he hates her besides the fact that she is uneducated. All the mistakes that were done prior to the laptop situation, Gopi did them because she wanted to leave the house so he can be happy and the Modi name won't be tarnished. I am not defending Gopi for stupid mistakes like the lap top and also the Cooker Kand. Those where her own fault. So they both are at fault but Ahem just a bit more because of his behavior. There is not excuse for it. He is a grown man with his own opinion that he has no guts on stating if it differs from his mothers wish.........whos problem is that???? His. Edited by taral83 - 13 years ago
Posted: 13 years ago
Sesky, I like your style! What a great discussion. Thanks for showing us your POV on Ahem.
 
Thankyou saomom. 😊 And great to hear your feedback as well!
 
I wish I could say that I saw any inkling of affection or growing attraction from Ahem towards Gopi, but at this point in time, I just don't see any signs of it at all. For me, the pride&prejudice analogy doesn't work, because in their case, both Lizzy and Darcy, while outwardly bothered by the other, were at the same time very challenged by each other as well and the underlying attraction or atleast basis for it was certainly there. Especially for Darcy, in that he had never quite met a women like Lizzy who not only had grown on him look wise, but had challenged his mind and wit and kept him on his toes the way she had. For him, it was her apparently low financial/social station in life that botheredf hin, not Lizzy as a person.
 
But, like I said earlier, this is an indian soap with a certain formula to follow, lol. So I'm sure and soon, all our lovely Gopi/Ahem 'shippers here will get their wish. I agree with you that not everything always has to be neatly tied up, but there you have it, lol!
 
My only hope/wish would be that the eventual romance isn't done at the expense of either character, and that they both retain/gain self dignity - i.e. that Ahem isn't completely villified as the villain who eventually saw the error of his ways, and Gopi vindicated as the ultimate angel. In an ideal situation, both should be shown on a learning curve - Gopi most of all, in my opinion, asshe seriously needs to get her act together. And Ahem, eventually learning a little humbleness and accepting the new Gopi, if and when she should change herself.
 
But again, like I said, I have very little hopes of it actually turning out this way, lol.
 
Thank you thank you,
 
This is one of the most relevant posts I have read here.
 
Thanks kasturilover. 😊 I don't think it's bashing to politely state your opinion regarding an actors performance - after all, we don't always agree on who is and isn't good at acting. For the record, I think most of the young actors on this show are currently quite weak, but they are also all new. So hopefully, they will learn and improve. The actors playing Ahem and Jigar already have, in my opinion.
 
Oh, also, I agree with you in doubting Koki's so called foresight in choosing a bahu. What was she thinking?

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