Posted: 19 August 2010 at 11:40am | IP Logged
Ok, so I know this is an extremely unpopular opinion around these parts, because most people here sympathize heavily with Gopi, and think Ahem is in the wrong, but I have to say - I actually sympathize a lot more with Ahem.
Being forced into a marriage, either for a man or a woman is never a pleasant thing. That in itself, is an adjustment, but then add to that being forced into marriage with an uneducated, unwordly simpleton.
I can completely see why this is such a huge blow to someone like Ahem. He is an educated, sophisticated young man, who is in no way wrong, in my opinion, to want a wife on equal footing.
To make matters even worse for Ahem, the girl who he's married to, is not only uneducated, but totally lacking in any kind of confidence, can't string a coherent line of conversation and is almost always either simpering, or crying. Now, contrary to what Indian drama serials would have us believe, I truly believe, that for most men, that is never a good look - the constantly crying, simpering girl.
Now, I'm not saying Ahem is completely faultless. He's been physically abusive towards Gopi, and there is never an excuse for that, no matter how frustrated he is. But on the whole, I have tremendous sympathy for him, because clearly, much like a woman, a man too probably has certain hopes, aspirations and dreams of the kind of life partner he desires and the kind of life he desires to live with her - to be able to talk and converse freely.
The thing about Gopi that makes it difficult for me to sympathize with her much is her absolute wilful ignorance. It's difficult to feel for a character that is so utterly lacking in confidence. Yes there have been hardships on her but there's a limit to the crying, sad faces, self pity and self sacrifice. I can guarantee that had she gone up to Ahem on the very next day he rejected her and firmly told him, "ok, you know what, i can understand why you are upset, but i didn't dupe you into this. I'm as stuck as you are. So let's both try and make the most of it" or something like that, I bet Ahem would have atleast respected her forthrightedness. But no, instead she constantly plays the victim, and cries. On top of this, there's no self awareness - has she once even thought to herself, 'maybe I should learn how to atleast read and write...after all, if I ever have children, how will I teavh them?' And the most unattractive quality of hers is her blind stupidity. There's a famous saying - "fool me once, shame on you, but fool me twice and shame on me." Time and over Rashi has been manipulating her, but Gopi seems absolutely incapable of getting a clue. The height of this was todays laptop fiasco. If a person is consistently fooled, yes, the person fooling them is ofcourse at fault, as Rashi clearly is, but tell me, doesn't some of the blame also go to the person being repeatedly fooled? Or are they just that much of a simpleton? If that's the case, then even more I can't blame Ahem for being repulsed by Gopi. Perhaps he likes his women to have a brain - clearly Gopi is lacking.
According to the precap, Gopi will name Rashi as the instigator. About time! I hope this proves a step in the right direction and she learns how to stand up for herself and assert herself more. She'll certainly gain more affection from me. and perhaps in the long run, from her husband too.