Saath Nibhaana Saathiya

   

Why I am on Ahem's side...

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sesky

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sesky

Joined: 21 February 2005

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Posted: 19 August 2010 at 11:40am | IP Logged
Ok, so I know this is an extremely unpopular opinion around these parts, because most people here sympathize heavily with Gopi, and think Ahem is in the wrong, but I have to say - I actually sympathize a lot more with Ahem.
 
Being forced into a marriage, either for a man or a woman is never a pleasant thing. That in itself, is an adjustment, but then add to that being forced into marriage with an uneducated, unwordly simpleton.
 
I can completely see why this is such a huge blow to someone like Ahem. He is an educated, sophisticated young man, who is in no way wrong, in my opinion, to want a wife on equal footing.
 
To make matters even worse for Ahem, the girl who he's married to, is not only uneducated, but totally lacking in any kind of confidence, can't string a coherent line of conversation and is almost always either simpering, or crying. Now, contrary to what Indian drama serials would have us believe, I truly believe, that for most men, that is never a good look - the constantly crying, simpering girl.
 
Now, I'm not saying Ahem is completely faultless. He's been physically abusive towards Gopi, and there is never an excuse for that, no matter how frustrated he is. But on the whole, I have tremendous sympathy for him, because clearly, much like a woman, a man too probably has certain hopes, aspirations and dreams of the kind of life partner he desires and the kind of life he desires to live with her - to be able to talk and converse freely.
 
The thing about Gopi that makes it difficult for me to sympathize with her much is her absolute wilful ignorance. It's difficult to feel for a character that is so utterly lacking in confidence. Yes there have been hardships on her but there's a limit to the crying, sad faces, self pity and self sacrifice. I can guarantee that had she gone up to Ahem on the very next day he rejected her and firmly told him, "ok, you know what, i can understand why you are upset, but i didn't dupe you into this. I'm as stuck as you are. So let's both try and make the most of it" or something like that, I bet Ahem would have atleast respected her forthrightedness. But no, instead she constantly plays the victim, and cries. On top of this, there's no self awareness - has she once even thought to herself, 'maybe I should learn how to atleast read and write...after all, if I ever have children, how will I teavh them?' And the most unattractive quality of hers is her blind stupidity. There's a famous saying - "fool me once, shame on you, but fool me twice and shame on me." Time and over Rashi has been manipulating her, but Gopi seems absolutely incapable of getting a clue. The height of this was todays laptop fiasco. If a person is consistently fooled, yes, the person fooling them is ofcourse at fault, as Rashi clearly is, but tell me, doesn't some of the blame also go to the person being repeatedly fooled? Or are they just that much of a simpleton? If that's the case, then even more I can't blame Ahem for being repulsed by Gopi. Perhaps he likes his women to have a brain - clearly Gopi is lacking.
 
According to the precap, Gopi will name Rashi as the instigator. About time! I hope this proves a step in the right direction and she learns how to stand up for herself and assert herself more. She'll certainly gain more affection from me. and perhaps in the long run, from her husband too.
 
 

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sajnie

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sajnie

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Posted: 19 August 2010 at 11:46am | IP Logged
I completely agree with ur analysis. Even a child will know zat a laptop should not be put in water but Gopi as a fool, listened to Rashi and did a blunder. She is to be blamed in all wats hapening to her.

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-tellyaddict-

IF-Sizzlerz

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Joined: 02 August 2009

Posts: 17287

Posted: 19 August 2010 at 11:51am | IP Logged
first of all a Very Warm welcome to the forum,,,,
and this is for u dear for making this wonderfull post.....

u know that none of us on the forum say that Gopi is right in following Rashi blindly and doing whatever she is telling w/o even questioning her once.......we want her to stand for herself ...for her self respect which is being hurt by Rashi every now and then....we want her to open her mouth to speak out the truth.......we want her to know the importance od Confidence and to show it when needed as she did yesterday while saving Aham from Snake.....

m completely agree that Aham is also in pain seeing a gak who is completely opposite to him..but what bothers me the most is his Anger always...he never lets her speak even for a sec....even for once......thats the only thing I dont like abt him...his dominating nature....

but m all the way with u on aham's side only for his pain and sufferings....but he too should understand the gal whom he scolds everytime.....till now for small small things like...bringing tea, touching his cupboard.......this is to be changed in aham and gopi should get a backbone...

again lovely post...and keep posting.....

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Shell16

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Shell16

Joined: 04 May 2010

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Posted: 19 August 2010 at 11:56am | IP Logged
Hello sesky,

I love your post and wish to reply but have to run off to a meeting. I will respond later this evening!!!

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saomom-tellyaddict-

sesky

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sesky

Joined: 21 February 2005

Posts: 102

Posted: 19 August 2010 at 11:59am | IP Logged
Thankyou so much guys. :) I was really hoping I wouldn't offend anyone by stating my opinion, because that was honestly never the inention.
 
I do sincerely hope Gopi learns how to change herself. Because it's a two way street then - if Ahem begins to see a new Gopi, chances are he'll begin to see in her a new light as well. And hence his behavior towards her might instinctively change.
 
But as of now, if the writers continue to write Gopi as the simpering fool - well, all I can say is they're hopelessly out of sync with what we expect in/from our heroine.

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taral83

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taral83

Joined: 20 August 2006

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Posted: 19 August 2010 at 12:09pm | IP Logged
I will be back with my views as I am really busy at work today......................but i don't disagree and agree with ur statement..................

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sujji0609-tellyaddict-

-tellyaddict-

IF-Sizzlerz

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Posted: 19 August 2010 at 12:09pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sesky

Thankyou so much guys. :) I was really hoping I wouldn't offend anyone by stating my opinion, because that was honestly never the inention.
 
I do sincerely hope Gopi learns how to change herself. Because it's a two way street then - if Ahem begins to see a new Gopi, chances are he'll begin to see in her a new light as well. And hence his behavior towards her might instinctively change.
 
But as of now, if the writers continue to write Gopi as the simpering fool - well, all I can say is they're hopelessly out of sync with what we expect in/from our heroine.

hey no dear....u dint offend anyone here.....if u are a regular visitor of forum u must be knowing if we all hate Aham for being rude towards Gopi then we all hate Gopi more for being Stupid, Fool, no self respect......
we just want her to know the difference being nicer and being fool.....like there is a saying in hindi...
Saap Ko Kabhi Fufkarna Nahi Chhodna Chahiye, Bhale Katna Bhul Jaye...

Same way Gopi should become confident and less prone to be manipulated by Rashi everytime...

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SriB

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Posted: 19 August 2010 at 12:11pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by taral83

I will be back with my views as I am really busy at work today......................but i don't disagree and agree with ur statement..................

taral....small question..not clear u are agree or disagree.....
*kidding* dont mind na.....m in comic mood today so just bear with my silly jokes....

m w8ing to read ur and shelly's views....

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