Can someone pls explain why this "SADANGU
" is carried out even today and what is the purpose for it?
As it is the woman is all broken up inside when her husband dies and they want to do this ceremony to further insult her and make her feel so degraded and useless.
Why remove the thalli? Isn't she still not his wife after his death? They remove her flowers, pottu and jewellery - wasn't she using all these even before she was married?
I have seen part of this ceremony when someone we knew passed away. I had the shock of my life when they dressed the woman up like a bride with bangles, pottu and bangles. They brought a pot of milk and placed it next to the body of her hubby. They told all the ladies with husbands to go into the room including me. I asked the ladies why we were told to come into the room. They told me that we are not to see this cremony as we are still with husbands and seeing it is a bad omen - thus only old ladies and widows are allowed to see. They said one of them will use the dead man's hands to remove the thali from his wife's neck and put it into the pot of milk.
I heard the woman howling and screaming telling them not to remove her thali - I was so frightened, upset, confused and regretted every moment for attending the funeral. I was crying too coz I just couldn't take the screams of the lady.
When they told us to come out of the room I saw the lady in a plain saree without all the decoration done on her earlier. She had fainted and someone was giving her a few sips of water.
I slowly walked out of the house and looked for my hubby - I told him that I do not want to stay there another minute and wanted to go home. We came back home even before the funeral was over coz both of us were very disturbed by the whole scenario..
I am glad we do not practice this ceremony in my community. My aunts, mum, MIL and our other relatives who are widows still use their thalis around their neck....coz they are still the wives of their late husbands and mother to their respective children.!!...
Edited by Sue Nair - 14 August 2010 at 11:54am