Posted: 07 February 2005 at 11:50pm | IP Logged
Transforming anger is a powerful step that will create positive changes in our relationships with others.
A pre-requisite to surrendering to love is to release anger. This is very important since anger can be one of the most challenging emotions to transform. In the "fight/flight response" duo - anger is the 'fight' part just as fear is the 'flight' part.
Cause of negative emotions: Anger is the root of many unwholesome and negative emotions such as irritation, pride, feeling superior or righteous, self-pity, and even manic-depression.
Practically almost each of us gives vent to bouts of anger several times in a day. It could be self-anger, anger at society, anger at people who oppose what we believe in. We anger for God, and at God.
A destructive force: Anger is a force, an extremely powerful force and has more power than even an atomic explosion as it is anger only that leads to man made holocaust and destruction. Anger is an energy that can move us away from those things that we once held near and dear to us.
How to control anger: By practising the perfection of patience, which is one of the six Buddhist perfections, we become wise and we will no longer need strong emotions to propel us into negative actions.
Now, we will act from the calm, peaceful wisdom of our inner soul. Reacting out of anger takes away our true power. It is only when we speak or act from the serene, expansive, and loving perspective of our soul that we feel good about our deeds and speech.
Recognition: Start by recognizing that when you feel angry you are generating a negative state of mind. Sometimes we feel angry when we are around the anger of others. When we feel anger that is not relevant to the present moment, we may be reacting to a past pain that we have yet not been able to resolve.
Three Steps to Mastering Anger
1. Recognize your anger: Start by recognizing that when you feel angry you are generating a negative state of mind.
2. Acknowledge your anger: It helps to stop and acknowledge our anger the moment it arises and not blame others for causing it.
3. Rein in your anger: Choose not to be a victim. Instead, affirm that you have the power to create any life you want.
We may feel angry because we are out of harmony with the universe or feel bad about our circumstances or ourselves in our life. Or we may feel angry because we think others have not been treating us the way we feel we deserve to be treated.
Acknowledge your anger: It helps to stop and acknowledge our anger the moment it arises and not blame others for causing it. If we are feeling angry we should increase our desire to love others from the core of our soul.
One technique suggests that we lift solar plexus chakra or energy centre into the heart centre and let energy flow up into our head centre and expand into the oneness of love. This helps in the experience of our soul's wisdom, compassion, and understanding.
We can feel the serenity of love even when we are around people who are angry, attacking, defensive, and functioning from their unevolved emotions and immature behavior. We can choose how we want to feel no matter what kind of emotions, thoughts, or energy you are around.
Rein in your anger: A good affirmation that we can employ effectively is, "I surrender any anger I have toward you. I take responsibility for making my own life work." Thereby we choose not to be a victim. Instead we affirm that we have the power to create any life we want. Recall a time when we transformed our anger and acted calmly. Reflect on how nice and positive we felt about ourselves then.
Transforming anger is a powerful step to take that will create positive changes in our relationships not only with our selves but also with others.