pyari tasha hamari-pg 2

CAHAT320 Senior Member

Joined: 22 June 2010
Posts: 449

Posted: 02 August 2010 at 5:35am | IP Logged
hey friends! inspired from IF poetry writers and espacially jiya me too tryed to write a poem but it is not too good as it was my first attempt.....
                                    THE  GOLDEN DAYS
Kya din thy vo
jab c.i.d tha the best
mistryes hoti thi mind blasting
aur hum sab thy uske bade fan
jab c.i.d dekhkar mann nahi bharta tha
ha vahi thy c.i.d ke
the golden days
thi hamari favourite team
har case hota tha rocking
abhi-daya rahte thy sath
ha bhai tha hamara c.i.d rock
par ab to storyes hoti hai boring
team bhi hai bakbas
jo hamne kho diye
ha vahi thy c.i.d ke
the golden days
c.i.d bureau ban gaya hai love garden
sab kar rahe hai ek -dosre se flirting
salunke ne bhi chode ke forensic
apnali hai bakbas karne ki raah
ek din tha jab c.i.d banata tha world record
ha vahi thy c.i.d ke
the golden days
ab to sara fun gayab sa ho gaya hai
c.i.d ka charm aur suspense kho sa gaya hai
singh sir se hai hamari humble request
plz hame bapas kar do vo din
jo thy c.i.d ke the golden days
ha c.i.d ke golden days
so friends how was it......ConfusedConfusedConfused

Edited by CAHAT320 - 13 August 2010 at 3:07am

The following 9 member(s) liked the above post:


metor Senior Member

Joined: 30 January 2010
Posts: 505

Posted: 02 August 2010 at 5:42am | IP Logged

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jiya. IF-Dazzler

Joined: 13 May 2010
Posts: 4206

Posted: 02 August 2010 at 5:50am | IP Logged
good attept...need some improvement....keep it up..
Chiinnu IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 23 May 2010
Posts: 16224

Posted: 02 August 2010 at 6:27am | IP Logged
nice poem.
sneh. Goldie

Joined: 11 October 2009
Posts: 1291

Posted: 02 August 2010 at 7:02am | IP Logged
as per the first attempt ya poem is good i suggest you to keep reading and keeping writing for more poems you will definitely improve buddy. believe me but please do keep on writing. Though some rhymes were here and there I could see ya heart feeling in the poem keep it up and keep writing many more I am sure you would definitely improve
sunnyp1414 IF-Dazzler

Joined: 22 November 2009
Posts: 3078

Posted: 02 August 2010 at 7:06am | IP Logged
Nice one. As its you first attempt, just rhyme problem but you will improve if you keep writing. So don't stop keep writingThumbs Up
Shagnika IF-Rockerz

Joined: 02 February 2010
Posts: 7856

Posted: 02 August 2010 at 7:58am | IP Logged
hey dear, nice attempt.... i am glad you posted it finally! need to work on rhyming a bit... otherwise direct dil se Clap

jiya di, aapke wajah se we are getting more and more people coming up with their talents! Big smile
bhinder.thind IF-Dazzler

Joined: 03 April 2010
Posts: 4015

Posted: 02 August 2010 at 8:48am | IP Logged
It is a really a Superb Work.. Everything is just so great ..Just WOW... You have found a logical way to write a poem.. you found 2 sentences about Golden Days and relate all your work around that.. Some words been used were put of world.. Just keep on writing and give us Precious work from your CID Love filled Heart..God Bless You

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