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My first Maaneet FF-An Unusual Grihapravesh (Page 5)

FaithnFate IF-Rockerz

Joined: 25 October 2009
Posts: 8715

Posted: 04 August 2010 at 5:40pm | IP Logged

nice update love the humor in the parts

awaiting 4r next pm:)

jaibaniwalia Groupbie

Joined: 07 December 2009
Posts: 151

Posted: 05 August 2010 at 1:15pm | IP Logged
great ff...
pls cont.soon...
IndigoBlues IF-Rockerz

Joined: 05 May 2010
Posts: 9375

Posted: 06 August 2010 at 4:58am | IP Logged
Hi guys! Sorry for being so slow. Here's fourth chapter. Hope you enjoy it! Smile

[Chapter 4]

Maan Singh Khurana was not used to losing. Especially not to a long haired girl wearing a punjabi suit and running up the stairs as if her life depended on it.

"Geet!" he shouted. "Go anywhere you want, but not my room please!"

"Ooh..Sir is behaving like such a kid," she told herself and laughed. She entered the room and shut the door on Maan's face.

The volcano that was bubbling in his heart was just about ready to erupt. The only thing stopping him was the door.

A shocked Geet watched, unable to believe her eyes as Maan, with a great big kick, pushed the door so hard that it came off its hinges, and smashed onto the floor, making her jump back with a surprised yell.

"Are you crazy?" she shouted. "What if I got hurt?" she asked angrily.

Oh no, not again...

Maan was about to launch into one of his famous anti-Geet tirades when he noticed the way she was looking at him, her brown eyes full of fury. And he lost himself again. His mind wandered to a faraway paradise, where a beautiful fairy was there waiting for him. And her face was suspiciously similar to Geet. No actually, it was Geet.

Men. They have as many urges as women do.

"Oye, what are you doing, looking at me like that?"

Maan snapped back to reality and furrowed his eyebrows, readying himself for the barrage of words waiting to come out of his voice box. Instead he felt slightly breathless and giddy.

"I'm, I'm going," he muttered. Geet widened her eyes. "Don't give me that look!" he shouted and she nodded her head, not knowing what to do.

Maan went outside into one of the many rooms on the first floor, and laid down in bed, but not before he heard a screech.

He got up, his heart thudding. What if something had happened to Geet? Oh god, he shouldn't have left her alone. Then he stopped himself. Maybe she'd just seen a spider and got scared.

His heart jumped out of his mouth when he saw an apparition in front of his door, clad in white. And then the woman came into view. It was Geet and she was crying.

Out of nowhere she had got a nightmare of Brij running after her with a sword in his hand. And Dev was waiting for her, his arms outstretched. She smiled and then as soon as she reached out to touch him, it was replaced by Naintara, repeating those ugly words-"I am his wife,you stupid girl. Your supposed 'marriage' was just a sham."

And then before she knew it she was in Maan's arms.

"Geet, what is this?" he asked irritably and then he saw she was crying. He rolled his eyes. Oh, not again.

"Why do you keep crying?" he asked. "Can't you be brave for once?"

Geet broke away. "Oh yes," she said, half sad, half angry. "I forgot. I am such a weakling right? And Mr. Maan Singh Khurana doesn't have any problems in his life."

She walked away from the room in a huff. Maan sighed.

"I do have a problem Geet," he thought to himself, "my problem is how to stop thinking about you."

That's it for today guys! Hope you enjoyed it! My first fan fic(on Twilight) had been bashed by a reader who said that I had totally ruined the characters. So I'm kinda nervous as to how you find my characterization. I hope I'm doing a good job of preserving the essential qualities of Maaneet. Thanks for reading up til here! PM me if you have any problems, but please do not bash my story. It's my first FF, so it can't be perfect. Big smile

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kooliio IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 08 February 2008
Posts: 12518

Posted: 06 August 2010 at 5:26am | IP Logged
Awesome update!! Loved it. Do cont.soon

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Janakivallav IF-Addictz

Joined: 04 March 2009
Posts: 62455

Posted: 06 August 2010 at 5:27am | IP Logged
nice update.loved it.
continue soon.

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jaibaniwalia Groupbie

Joined: 07 December 2009
Posts: 151

Posted: 06 August 2010 at 2:28pm | IP Logged
great part..
pls cont.soon...

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IndigoBlues IF-Rockerz

Joined: 05 May 2010
Posts: 9375

Posted: 07 August 2010 at 10:45pm | IP Logged
Thanks a lot for appreciating. On to chapter FIVE!

Chapter Five

In the morning, as the first rays of the sun shined down upon the angelic face of Maan, he woke up, yawning and stretching his arms. He felt a bit perplexed-why did he feel like he had been hit in the head? And then like a drunk man finally coping with the effects of hangover, and feeling shameful in his sober state, Maan remembered last night's events. He could not believe it. Had he actually kicked the door of Geet's room down?

Then he stopped. Since when did his room become Geet's room?

He ventured outside to his room where Geet was sleeping. Her face was lit up by the light and she looked so content and happy that he found it difficult to believe she was the one who had so agitatedly berated him when he scolded her over her nightmare.

Oh god. He really was a two-headed monster. But one with a golden heart. For he was the only one in the world who would feel his heart pumping blood at an abnormal rate on seeing Geet sleeping, when your average man would have just lusted after her beauty. After all, you have only one soulmate.

Okay...since when did he start being romantic?

"Rise and Shine" shouted Dadimaa, walking into the house. Then she gasped. Why did everything look like a hurricane had passed through the outhouse?

But then, she told herself, this had to be expected. When you put two people crazy in love in the same house, well, the house would never be same again.

"Dadimaa!" he shouted, and ran downstairs. "What is this? You put that stupid Geet in my house!.

"Maan, this property belongs to me," she said sternly,"so I will decide who lives on it."

"But Dadimaa!" he whined. "I cannot live with her! She's taken my room! Why are you doing this?"

Geet on hearing their argument woke up with a start. Was it Dadimaa? She scrunched up her nose. She was Maan's grandmother not hers. But then, elders had to be treated with respect.

She did not count Daarji has her elder anymore.

She hurried downstairs. "Dadi, just look na! You only told me to stay here! And now he's saying that-"

"Stop behaving like kids both of you," she lectured. "Just look at the state you've made of my outhouse. Now listen. My doctor has just told me I have been diagnosed with blood cancer."

Dadi really knew how to lie.

Both Maan and Geet were left speechless. And then Geet saw a spectacle she had never witnessed in her life. Maan Singh Khurana of all people, was crying. Not crying, pathetically sobbing the way she had been doing last night. Except that his nightmare had come true.

"Look," he said regaining composure,"There's no need to be a drama queen. I will call a team of expert doctors. You don't worry. Just take plenty of rest. And I'm here to take care of you. We don't need Geet," he said, in his typical no-nonsense voice.

Geet interrupted. "I am her employee now," she said, "and it's my duty to ensure she is taken care of. So I am not going to leave this house till she does not recover."

"Geet," he said angrily,"This is my family matter. Don't act so concerned about it."

"I'm just being a human being," she said angrily.

"Just stop all this fake concern okay!" he yelled. She curled up, afraid. "Don't stoop so low as to show sympathy just so that you can stay in this big house-"

"Shut up Maan!" said Dadimaa furious. "Now listen," she said, determination in her life,"Before I go,I have one last wish. I want to see you married-to Geet."

"No! Kya? What!!" both blurted out in unison.

"I have only two months left," she said, trying her best not to laugh at the expression on their faces. "And it's my wish that my older grandson finds a wife."

"But why me?" Geet asked.

"No questions. And if you'll want to defy my order, fine. But only one condition. Maan will have to find some other woman to marry. And both of them should stay together-for life."

Maan and Geet quietened up and looked at each other. From where would they find a girl for Maan?

Hello, there were plenty of girls dying for him.

But they weren't secretly in love with them, the way Geet was.

That's it for now! Gotta go study for an exam! Hope you liked it! If there are any bloopers, wrong characterization or spelling and grammar errors, either pm me or post a reply on this thread. No bashing please! There are plenty of other good fanfics if you don't like mine.

Love, Meg.

Edited by IndigoBlues - 07 August 2010 at 10:45pm

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Radhika Shah IF-Sizzlerz
Radhika Shah
Radhika Shah

Joined: 22 May 2007
Posts: 13357

Posted: 07 August 2010 at 11:10pm | IP Logged
Just read your FF! it's great..
Please PM me if you can..

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